I remember those days where I’d be sitting around wondering why my ex girlfriend would text me out of the blue, usually right after I moved on from her!
It made no sense. Just out of the blue I hear a *ding* and sure enough, there she is asking me a random question or simply asking me how I’m doing.
What’s funny is that my ex girlfriends would never text or call me back when I was putting in the effort and reaching out to her. WTF?
I know how incredibly annoying and hurtful it can be as I’ve been through this experience many, many times in the past.
And believe it or not, even to this day there are women that just don’t see a future with me and decide to just not call me back.
But this is okay. Something I’ve learned over the years is that most relationships just aren’t meant to be. The sooner you realize that you may be wasting time trying to date someone that isn’t good for you, the sooner you can move on and continue your growth.
I also learned through a lot of trial-and-error that I was making a BIG mistake which causes all women to lose attraction to me and ultimately break up with me. Grab my free guide about this here:
I’ll email it to ya. Check it out after this article because it’s really important and I guarantee you’re making this mistake to some degree.
Anyway, let’s dive into the meat of this article.
Breaking Up Is Okay
One of the best lessons when it comes to dating is to ask yourself if you seriously believe that the person you’re dating is the best person for you.
I can say confidently that most relationships have an imbalance. One person is usually dating ‘up’ while the other person feels that they are settling ‘down’ so to speak.
This happens in most relationships and is something that a lot of people don’t really think about. While you may be incredibly happy that you’re dating this amazing person in your eyes, your partner might feel like they’ve had to settle for you.
Often times, both men and women find themselves dating simply because they’re bored, they’re lonely and they want some company.
And what ends up happening is that once the person who feels that they are settling meets someone better and more ‘improved’ than you, they will usually leave you.
It sucks, yes, but it just is what it is. It’s 2015 and with it being so easy to see and talk to new people from all over the world, it’s very easy for people to find someone new.
So for me, the mindset shift I made that really helped was to focus not so much on getting into a relationship, but more on myself so that I could be a great man.
Instead of trying to get into relationships and ‘lock a woman down‘, I instead focus on just being this fun, experienced, knowledgeable guy that women can feel relaxed and comfortable around.
It can take multiple dates and long periods of ‘friendzoning’, but in the long-run, I have always dated the best women doing this.
And if things just aren’t working out, it’s not like there were any crazy amounts of commitment. And it’s not like I’m not talking to multiple women and doing things in my life.
Break ups happen. The less you focus on your ex and relationships, the more you’ll be able to move forward and focus on yourself.
Yes, I Purposely Friend-Zone Myself
I love talking about this stuff because my dating ‘techniques’ are just so different from your common, mainstream seduction articles and advice you read.
While most guys are thirsting over a girl and trying their hardest to come up with the most witty lines they can think of to make her laugh or whatever, I’m doing the opposite.
I’m over here working on my own life, doing my own thing, talking to girls like they’re just my friends and going about my business.
I really prefer doing things this way because even if I do start dating a girl consistently, it’s under an entirely different pretense than most guys where he’s trying to make her his exclusive girl.
I’m instead leaving these options in the hands of the girl. I’m basically showing that I’m really the prize in this relationship and it’s up to her to lock me down. It’s her choice.
I purposely choose to not play the numbers game. It’s a choice I make for myself because I’m frankly too busy to run around 5 nights a week approaching women and trying to set up dates. I rarely find time to go out just once a week.
So it’s simply a life choice I’ve decided to do for myself. I prefer doing things this way as the relationships I’ve had are far more rewarding than the ones I’ve had in the past where I was trying to get dates and lock women down.
I Am Me. Take It or Leave It.
This is the attitude I have with women. I am me. What you see is what you get. I’m not trying to be this perfect dude. I have my goals and my life revolves around achieving these goals and dreams I set for myself.
If a woman doesn’t want to be with me when I put myself out there, that’s fine. I accept that. Women don’t owe me or you anything and it’s perfectly okay for her to move on and find someone else that is more in line with her lifestyle.
This is usually a tough pill to swallow for most men. Because people usually date out of loneliness, they find themselves in relationships with someone that doesn’t really work for them.
And as usual, your partner leaves when they meet someone else that really clicks with them – even if it’s someone that appears to be lower in quality. It just happens.
And you know what? That’s just how it is sometimes. And if your ex is currently happy with this new guy or girl, no amount of calling or texting is going to change that.
I personally just don’t believe in ‘putting yourself out there’ or ‘making sacrifices’ when it comes to relationships. And you might disagree with me which is perfectly okay.
But I believe that the best relationships are when two independent people come together and sort of merge their worlds. You’re bringing her into your life, she’s bringing you into her life.
Think About Your Environment
As you probably know by now, I don’t run this website to teach seduction or pick-up routines or whatever. I’m really just beyond all that ‘how to get laid’ stuff as I’ve been laid enough in my life.
What I look for for myself is someone that can be a great partner. Someone that I can merge my world with and learn new things about myself.
I look for women that aren’t afraid to point out my flaws and teach me new things. I don’t care about getting laid because that’s such a minor part of a healthy relationship. It’s going to happen regardless.
Too many guys get so caught up around the sex life. Then they wonder why the relationship falls apart weeks or months later…
I focus on the bigger picture. And what most guys don’t realize is that when you get into a relationship, your girlfriend is going to want to know what your environment is like.
She’s not just dating you – she’s dating your world. She’s going to be entering your social circles, your home life, possibly your work life, your daily life, etc.
She’s going to be thinking if her world can fit with yours. So even though you may feel like you’re an amazing guy, if your world isn’t really that amazing, then she’s eventually going to feel out of place. She’s not going to want to be a part of your world.
This happens a lot. Guy meets girl, girl and guy begin to date. Guy doesn’t really have a life, but thinks the relationship is fine because they have good sex.
Eventually, girl grows bored because guy doesn’t have an interesting life. Girl wants to be a part of more than just you two, so she ends up leaving you when she meets a guy that’s got his own big world going on.
And now you’re lost and confused because she left you for someone you may see as ‘lesser’ than you. And whether he is or isn’t doesn’t matter – what matters is that you ultimately weren’t able to bring to the table what she wanted. And now she’s gone.
What To Do When Your Ex Doesn’t Call Back
Usually it pays off to listen to your gut. If you feel like the relationship is going down hill and calling your ex is a waste of time, then your instincts are probably right.
I have a lot of experience with women and dating, so I usually know after the first date whether things are going to work out for not.
If I feel that the date didn’t have the connection that I look for, then I might send a final text saying how I had a good time or something. And she might respond.
But then from there, I won’t text again. I completely leave the next conversation or invite in the girl’s hands. I know that any more texting from me is really just pushing it.
This is the same exact rule I follow if I were to meet with an ex. So let’s say you and your ex agree to meet up and grab some coffee or food or a drink. It doesn’t matter what the date is.
If the date ends and there’s no hooking up or anything, then just send that text about you had a good time and then let it go. Leave the power in the hand of your ex from now on.
No calls, no texts, no messages or anything. Just leave the rest all in their hands. If they want to see you again, they’ll let you know.
Whether they call you back in a few days or a few weeks, I have always had more success for myself when I just let her come back to me on her own time.
And an additional advanced tip is that if your ex does reach out to you, don’t push for a new date regardless how many times he or she may say that they ‘miss you’.
Just work on ‘dangling the fruit’ as I say and let your ex push for the date. So if they say they miss you 500 times, send like an emoji winky face or something lol. Just don’t bite the bait. Let them get the courage to ask you out. And then go from there.
Again, this is the way I do things. My entire dating and relationships philosophy revolves around the growth mindsets and whether you agree with them or not is your choice.
I’ve watched seduction guys, ‘players’, pick up artists and such try their routines and techniques for years and years and yet never find long-term results.
So for me, I do things differently because they work for me. It requires discipline and patience and it’s not about trying to get laid all the time.
At this point in my life, I prefer quality, healthy relationships.