BPD relationships can be very complicated. I know this firsthand as I’ve been in several failed relationships throughout my life (especially my early relationships).
As a result of my intense experiences, I dedicated myself years ago to helping people with their BPD relationships simply for the fact that I like helping people and I don’t want people to experience the pains that I went through.
I hope that you enjoy my help and advice that I write about because I truly do believe that we’re all imperfect humans and I believe that Borderline’s want to find love and happiness as much as anyone else.
I’ve dated multiple women with BPD and I managed to make the later relationships work due to everything I learned over the years and exactly what I teach here on my blog and in my programs.
A couple of years ago, I created the BPD success program based on all of my experiences with both success and failure.
Being that it’s 2015 and the times are rapidly changing, it only makes sense to bring this program up to the present times.
It’s now much bigger than all the previous programs combined. It will continue to grow as I will continue to add more and more audio tracks answering questions.
I’ve decided to make the 1st section free for all eyes. There are 18 sections total. This answers A LOT of questions you may have about why BPD relationships are so complicated.
Expect typos and grammar issues. I don’t like to go through and edit my programs until I complete the first draft and this is only around 5% of the entire program. It’s 4,000 words so sit back, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!
The BPD Relationship Blueprint: Introduction
Hello and welcome to the brand new BPD Relationship Blueprint, completely remastered for 2016.
As I continued to develop the community this year, I realized that a lot of the core macro and micro training ties in with a lot of my BPD training – because ultimately my training is all about the mindsets and the skills to succeed in relationships and your life.
The new BPD program is for both non-BPD’s and for people with BPD. So if you currently believe that you have BPD, then I welcome you for taking the risk to purchase this program. What you’ll find interesting about me is that I don’t judge or label anybody. So whether you have BPD or not doesn’t really matter. This program is intended to help everybody and it will definitely help you.
This program is not about teaching techniques or routines or ‘what to say next’ for your emotional partner or your ex-girlfriend. If you want to save your relationship, then you first need to save yourself. And this program will help you with that.
When you learn to change yourself, you begin to change your life. This is really the best thing you can do for your relationship because you cannot control the reactions of your partners. They will do what they want, say what they want and you can’t control that. The only thing you can control is yourself and how you react.
So your job is to become the best person you can possibly be so you can be a great partner to someone that deep down wants a great partner. If you currently just aren’t sure why your partner has left you, then go through this program and you’ll have all of your answers by the time you finish it.
As for a little history, I first created the BPD Success Program back in 2011. I was only about a year into my massive transformation and I was currently into my 4th relationship with a woman that has BPD.
The relationship went really well and I really believed that I finally cracked the code to BPD relationships. We continued to date until the Summer of 2012 when the relationship came to an end.
Looking back, this was one of my more healthy relationships and I learned a ton from this one. I literally just did what I wrote about in the book and there wasn’t nearly as much drama as my previous BPD relationships.
But I’m not perfect by any means. I still make mistakes to this day as do us all. Nobody is smarter than you, nobody is better than you. The only difference between people in this world is that some people have just figured out how to do things. I just happen to be one of these people that figured out how to date highly emotional women.
This new program is completely different from the old ones. This is because as I’ve grown and developed these ‘championship mindsets’ as I like to call them, my relationships on all levels have improved 10-fold. It really made absolutely no sense to keep my old programs when what I’m doing now is vastly superior to my old teachings.
With it being 2015 and the crazy Information Age we now live in, it really only makes sense to bring this entire program online as part of my membership program. We’re all glued to our smart phones anyways and this will help avoid technical download issues and zip files and make updating much easier.
When fully complete, each chapter will have both audio and written material. Think of it like a Udemy course where the main learning is through the audio with text to help as well.
You can lie down in bed, log in and read on your phone or ipad. You can create a journal on the forum, write comments and have discussions with me, no need to download any files, etc.
What This Course Is All About
As described above, this program is about you and developing those championship mindsets I mentioned above. Everything I teach is now based on the development of these mindsets because they are the keys to unlocking your full potential.
Whether this full potential will save your current relationship or not is not my goal. Personally, I don’t care if you ‘get your ex back’ or not. I more care about saving you from disastrous mindsets that can only cause you more emotional and psychological pain.
I truly do hope that I get a lot of people with BPD picking up this program. I really believe that my teachings can help people overcome their BPD as I’ve been able to do this through my personal coaching. So if you have BPD, I really hope you take this program seriously and commit to it because it can change your life.
This program is geared towards both men and women. It doesn’t matter what gender you are because the mind is equally as powerful for all of us. Like I said, nobody is smarter than you and nobody is better than you. People simply have more experiences and better mindsets. It has been proven over and over again that you can increase your IQ simply by learning new things.
Because I am a man, I will use women as part of my training from time to time. As a quick example, women value self-respect in men more than anything. So as a man, the most important thing to focus on for yourself is your own fundamental self. The more you can build yourself up into a person that people respect, the more than women will like you and want to be with you.
This is the key to all of my quality relationships over the years. There’s no drama, no crazy hot/cold behavior, no distance, no games. I don’t experience the common problems that practically every relationship has because I have changed myself completely – my personality is completely different than what it was just 5 years ago.
This is why I believe so strongly in these mindsets. Once I committed to learning everything that I’ll teach you in this program, I completely changed my life. I started to get the things I’ve always wanted. I unlocked my potential. I became positive, creative, out-going, intelligent, social, etc.
I am really proud of the person I have become. My old friends and family do find themselves wondering what happened to the old Rick, and that’s okay. I am willing to sacrifice all of my old friends and family in order to be the best person I can be.
And this is a really important concept that you will have to understand. When you decide to change, people that you know will not recognize this new version of yourself. Due to the common problem of mediocrity, they will want your old self to return. It doesn’t make any sense because your new self is 100 times better, but it’s just how common people are.
I’ll talk about this later in the book, but when you try to escape your comfort zones, people will try to pull you right back into it. So you will have to limit your contact with old friends and extended family in your life as much as possible as you change. It is required and you must do it. Period.
The key is to this program is to have an open mind. There are many things I understand that you do not. I have studied, researched, read and experienced more than 99% of the population. I call myself a champion of knowledge. I don’t tell you this to brag. I tell you this because I want you to take everything I teach you seriously. I want you to commit to this program because I know you’ll experience great results for the rest of your life.
But I cannot guarantee that your current relationship will succeed from what you learn here. Sometimes even when you do everything right, the relationship doesn’t work out. And that’s just life. There could be a million reasons why the relationship failed.
And it’s not a BPD thing. Most relationships just don’t work out. You already have statistics against you. Divorce is around 60% these days and that’s only counting real, actual divorces. How many other relationships out there go on in marriage even though there’s no affection, intimacy and love? Probably another 20% or more.
It’s just the 80/20 rule popping up again. This thing shows up all over the place. 80% of relationships are broken. 20% are technically together and probably less than 10% are actually happy, full of joy and love. These are very small numbers. But this just is what it is.
Everything I teach here is designed to bring you into that 5 percentile. I want every relationship you get yourself in to be fun, loving and full of joy. That’s what all my training prepares you for. So even if your current relationship doesn’t work out, you still have all this new knowledge and tools to have an amazing relationship in the future.
This is how I learned. You learn through failure. I would love to help you succeed in your current BPD relationship, but if it just isn’t possible to save at this point, then don’t feel bad. You’re still arming yourself with the best knowledge on the internet. Everyone else is still living in the past and teaching crap from 5 years ago or 10 even. So still be proud of yourself. I’m going to do all I can to help you succeed.
Because people never teach themselves about self-respect, self-worth and valuing themselves, they spend all their time learning how to get someone. Everyone has become a taker. Our society makes it very easy to get things fast.
For relationships, online dating has played this role. Instead of socializing over a period of time and learning what someones really about, you can now just install an app and swipe YES to people that you want to sleep with.
While this may have its appeal and seem fun at times, these apps are ultimately instilling horrible mindsets deep within your core. They’re teaching you that sex comes easy and as long as you’ve got some look that the other person likes, hooking up is going to go down.
This is the exact opposite of the quality that actually makes a great partner. Healthy relationships all begin with your core. If you fail to develop the correct qualities that I discuss here in the Relationship Roadmap, then you’re most likely going to fall into that easy, desperate, hook up category. And this isn’t a fun place to be because it makes you bored and lonely when you don’t have someone with you.
As you can see, when you get into a relationship with this type of person, it’s usually quite chaotic. There’s no strong core development in either of you. Your idea of happiness is getting into bed and getting that sex.And when you aren’t getting attention, you feel worthless. You get anxiety. You start fearing that things have turned to the worst.
You become a slave to your emotions. You become exactly what you’ve set out to never be.
My Goal With This Program
My ultimate goal with this program is to help you escape from the typical dating and relationships box that everybody has fallen into. This easy, hook up, desperate society we live in. Relationships are at an all time low these days and it’s only going to get worse as society continues to poison our minds with horrible mindsets.
So my goal is to pull you out off that train and get you on the small path toward greatness. I want to teach you how to harness this power so that you can unlock your full potential and be that amazing person you dream about.
This is what matters most in your life and in your relationships. I will teach you how to make these dreams of you crystal clear so they can become your reality. Have the confidence and strength to set yourself free and fly.
The people that I see time and time again succeed in relationships, especially those with highly emotional people, are those that have worked hard on their core foundations and beliefs. It’s the Core Content stuff you find on this site. It’s the stuff you’re going to learn more of as you go through this program.
I see a lot of people with some great qualities as well as bad ones. While the good qualities may bring you an awesome partner for the time-being, it’s always only temporary before the bad side is discovered. The relationship soon ends and you’re devastated. Whether it’s an ego problem, too much selfishness, deep-rooted insecurities, bad habits and more, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that there are problems and issues that brought the relationship to an end.
But it’s not your job to rescue your partner from their pain. It’s not your job to help him or her. The way you can help your partner is to actually be great yourself. Your partner wants someone that’s really great from the inside. Your outside will reflect your inside. So let’s make your inside great.
At the end of the day, all you have control over is yourself. Your reactions, your behaviors, your habits, your thinking, your choices, your mindsets are all up to you. Most people make the same errors and mistakes over and over again and continue to behave in ways that drives their partner away.
It’s my goal with this book to help you avoid these mistakes – to build you up into a strong, independent individual that’s found respect, love and value inside of yourself. And from that, these ‘BPD relationships’ can be healthy and long-lasting.
I hope you liked what you read. I go pretty in-depth in this program and I’m teaching more things than anyone else has ever taught on BPD.
Every single section like the one above has an audio training mp3 to go along with it.
In fact, the entire course has over 11 hours of recorded audio.
And it’s additional training – it isn’t just me reading each chapter. I dive DEEP into each section.
Oh yeah, it really is that good.
This program can literally change your life if you commit to it.
You ready? Go here:
– Rick Reynolds
Author and Creator of the BPD Relationship Blueprint
john dams says
Hey rick , over the years how do you handle bpd females when they go from a codependent to independent so rapidly? It almost feels like dating someone with green grass syndrome. . Like they want you around but at the same time wanna be able
I’m a very independent man so if a girl needs her space, I’m perfectly okay with that. And that’s how it should be to be honest. If your partner doesn’t want you around, then why be around? Take this time to do something else. I’m a very busy man so I take advantage of all this time I can. In my relationships, I’m always a bit more independent than the women so I don’t experience the hot/cold that other guys do that don’t have a lot going on. Moving from codependence to independence was the biggest, best change I did for myself early on. That’s the key difference. You just gotta have a lot going on and the hot/cold won’t happen because she knows your time is rare. When she’s the one asking to hang out with you, that hot/cold isn’t going to be an issue.
Jacob R says
Hey Rick ,
Great material , great site. I have a question regarding female BPD. How do you know when to actually call it quits on this type of relationship , for example if she goes through this “I love you , I hate you phase” or something sets her off and she has an impulsive reaction towards you that makes her say ” we shouldn’t talk anymore , go away” how do you gauge the meaning behind what she’s saying and determine whether she’s 100 percent serious or not because this recently happened to me.. I just kinda back off for whats been about 7 days or now No Contact , do I just re-initiate and ask her how she’s doing? “Hey , whats up” or do you kind of approach her and ask her “I know you can be rather impulsive at times , were you serious about breaking up?” or ” Was the time away what you neeeded?” ahah I don’t know something along those lines? I’m just at stand still, not sure how to address this issue. Without seeming like a lost puppy dog who needs her to survive
Well do you need her to survive? Lol. Cause if you do, then you got no chance. But the best way to get in contact with her again is find something funny to send her. I don’t give direct texts/things to say because I can’t actually be having the conversation with you. Just get creative, memes are always funny. Or a horrible pick up line. Or just do nothing for a bit and keep waiting until she reaches out to you. That works as well.
This is great. I agree we all need work on our co -dependency issues and our attitudes will shift things as they the bipolar will not see an entrance for games or dramas. I still think we need look at why we think crazy acting and drama is interesting, it’s not healthy on our part, but I do understand. I just went on friendship date with a normal like guy, we went hiking, no mood swing or disrespectfulness, it was great, I saw how exciting naturally he really was, he talked about nature and showed me exciting places to go. We also went to ufc fights had great time and talking was great, interesting, if I hadn’t been working on myself concepts of excitement I wouldn’t have looked his way and ended up maybe with another bipolar dude. I’ve decided not date anymore bipolar guys and keep distance with the women ones who like to turn every other week on women. Good luck everyone in your journey. Just another view. Keep up good work writting friend
Awesome to hear! This is really a great example of a guy showing his qualities to you. He’s just got a cool lifestyle that you want to be a part of instead of you trying to lift him up all the time. It’s really a good example. Hopefully he turns out to be the real deal but only time will tell. So just keep at it and let time reveal things :)
My BPD (diagnosed) gf is in a no-talking phase. But I’ve read with BPD they actually want you to go after them. Not only that, but in the past I’ve pushed for her to talk/see me in these stages and after a while it works, one of my messages eventually makes her come running back. Plus this time it seemed triggered by me going on a work trip, I think she felt abandoned and unloved, so ran before I could (even though I wasn’t). She’s ignoring me now, so should I do what I did every time before and repeatedly talk her around, or just…not bother? If I don’t contact at all, I worry she’ll never have the guts to herself, she often spoke of being too shy and scared to talk to me after treating me badly so seems relieved when I take the lead. She seems more sick than sulking; before the silence she said she wasn’t coping so went to stay with her father.
I read they don’t like being with someone stronger as it invokes feelings of inadequacy and shame. But like you say, she loses respect for me if I’m not stronger. I can’t find the balance between taking the lead like she seems to want (does she?) and seeming needy/pushy. Thoughts?
Check out my newest article on the front page. I talk about this. I also suggest you stop reading about BPD on any other websites. I’m honestly the only person online that approaches BPD relationships correctly and I’m not just saying this. It’s the truth. So just stop reading other websites because they’re just full of stereotypes and judging and labels and all that which will only cause you to make more and more mistakes. It’s just really bad mindsets.
I’m wondering if you would be willing to share some advice, as we seem to be in similar situations. I have been dating a guy with BPD for 2 years. We’ve separated numerous times, but always gotten back together because I’ve “gone after him.” Sometimes I’ve had to go to extreme means (I set up a fake job interview for him to get him to meet me), but it worked because we got back together and he even admitted that was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for him.
I feel as if I’ve run out of ways to bring us back together, so I am not doing anything in hopes it might be a more effective method, but at the same time I’m worried I should be going after him. It’s been 1 month since he told me he wanted to break-up and 3 weeks since we last communicated.
I hope things have improved with your relationship and would appreciate any advice. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
PS. Sanders says
I have both BPD and Bipolar. And I wanted to let you know I approve of your advice to people who are willing not to judge me for my problems. So, thanks for creating it.
Thank you :)
Im done w/ my ex gf w/ BPD esp after her constant games, lies, and bullshit! Im DONE and she isnt worth my time and having!
Don’t hate the player, hate the game. And then learn how to play it. It’s the only way.