No. You don’t tell her.
You SHOW a girl that you like her through your sexual advances and Game, you never tell her directly. Although seemingly a trivial difference in semantics, the way you go about this makes a huge difference in a girls perception of you.
If you tell a girl you like her, the challenge for her instantly evaporates. You are no longer the prize, and more importantly, you have eliminated all of her social anxiety. She doesn’t feel a competitive need to seduce you away from other women. You have already claimed exclusivity.
Think about what women need from relationships: nourishment / protection aka affection and attention. Men in return need sex.
If you tell a girl you like her, you are essentially completing her side of the dynamic. She does not need to give you anything in return, she already has what she wants from you. Her preponderance of your mind is complete, she can save her sexuality for a guy more Alpha than you who will give her better offspring. You will see all too often that a guy drops his cards on a table and it seems like a relationship will occur between a girl and a guy and then she ends up LJBFing him (friendzoned).
If you SHOW a girl you like her through your sexual advances, you don’t remove yourself from the social market. In this scenario, she realizes that you are interested but that she must qualify herself to you in order to preserve your fidelity and attention. The more she thinks that another woman might find you and snatch you away, the more she will be inclined to get into a relationship with you.
The former method builds a sense of desperation and kills a woman’s imagination (critical to building mystery). The latter builds a sense of suspense and sexual tension.
For all the high school and college guys out there wondering day and night “should I tell her I like her?” The answer is no. You show her, but you don’t tell her. (You flirt, but you don’t tell her you’ve forsaken all others). And most of all, she must feel a sense of closure without exclusivity, that if your relationship doesn’t escalate, you will be able to find someone else besides her.
You’re not just some chump who’s going to be chasing her around forever.
A very short but very straight-to-the-point post by Shark.
And, I really like this topic because it’s an important one that nearly every guy makes these days. A big part about being codependent is wanting desperately to be loved.
When you’re desperate for love and affection, you will go out of your way to do things that make it obvious you want said person. This idea of being a mystery, one of the most attractive traits one can have, is non-existent. It’s completely obvious where you stand in the relationship.
Therefore, people who struggle with a mindset of codependency always struggle in relationships because they never allow the other person to work for it. This is why pretty women are often never happy because 99% of the men around her are so obvious about wanting her that it ruins any chance of her experiencing the thrill of falling for someone.
Hence why attractive women generally chase after men who are unavailable. A man who is unavailable is an exciting pursuit for the woman because she feels as if she has to really work for him if she wants a chance.
As a man, it’s very important that you never let your intentions be known (at least verbally). Like Shark says, you should instead be showing your intentions through your actions. This is why I teach the stuff that I do.
With that said, my advice for struggling men is to not waste your time on women who aren’t interested in you. This is where all the other “gurus” and I differ. Those “experts” want you to run pick up lines and routines with the hopes that the woman will like you.
I fundamentally disagree with this on every level.
The reason I disagree with that advice is because I have known pretty women all my life. And I have never once seen any of these women magically go from not wanting a guy to wanting him just because he said or did some routine.
It has never happened nor will it ever. It just doesn’t work that way and it’s the big lie that these dating “coaches” keep telling men. It’s all lies.
If a woman wants a man, she has already made that decision before you’ve even spotted her at the party. By the time you’ve finally mustered up the courage to approach and say something, she already decided 20 minutes ago whether she wants you or not.
So it doesn’t matter what you do or say at this point. She has already decided to either give you a chance or not.
Thus why the most important thing you can ever do when it comes to attracting women and getting into relationships is to already look and be the type of guy that women want.
If you don’t look the part, you will never get the women that you want. You will have to settle for average or below average women. This is just the reality and to deny the truth makes you insane. But go ahead and try to prove me wrong. I’ve watched guys try to prove me wrong for 20+ years and none have ever done so yet.
Go spend 20 minutes researching all of these dating “coaches” that have come and gone over the last 20 years. Notice how not a single one of them are in relationships with high quality, attractive women. None of these “gurus” ended up with an attractive girlfriend after all these years.
Thus why I teach the power of mindsets. You must develop the mind that is attractive to women. This mindset is what will propel you to improve yourself on both a mental and physical sense.
Once you’ve mastered these 2 things, the sky is the limit. Of course there will always be women who aren’t attracted to you, and that’s okay. You simply focus your energy on women who do want you, instead of wasting time on women who don’t want you.
It’s easy to tell where you’re at: just look at the types of women who are attracted to you. If it’s only below average women who seem to want you, this means that you are projecting a below-average appearance.
Obviously, this isn’t good and you have work to do.
What I teach is truly a lifestyle. You will need to work every day for the rest of your life to improve your attractiveness and quality of life.
Only then will you start to attract the above average women that you deeply desire.
And, you won’t have to go out of your way to convince her to like you. You’ll never have to tell her that you like her because she will already be pursuing you.