One of the worst experiences you can have in a relationship is when your girlfriend goes cold on you.
Even worse is when you feel as if everything is going well: the sex is good, she says she loves you, you’re happy. Suddenly, she’s gone! She’s ghosted you and won’t return any texts or calls.
There are a lot of factors that can lead up to such a devastating loss. And we’ll get into some of these in this article.
So let’s start with the biggest factor that influences the health of relationships …
Do you know what this is?
A healthy relationship is dependent on the level of respect you have for one another.
Learning how to earn respect from women is a key so you can improve your relationships.
Without respect, love has no room to grow.
Love and respect go hand-in-hand. You can’t have one without the other.
It’s just not possible, no matter how much marketing and advertising is thrown at you through the media this time of year.
You can buy all the flowers and chocolates and vacations that you want.
But if your partner doesn’t respect you, then all those gifts you’re giving isn’t going to do a damn thing.
In fact, it actually makes the relationship worse because you appear to be trying hard.
And guess what…
Nobody respects a try hard.
If you’re signed up for my free email newsletter, I sent out an email recently where I shared a bad experience with Valentine’s Day (it did turn out good in the end though).
The girl I’m dating now, who most people consider to be quite emotional and ‘crazy’ at times, has been nothing but warm, loving and appreciative.
I didn’t do anything fancy for V-Day (as I don’t like to set high expectations).
All we did was watch Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and I cooked her a good homemade meal.
Nothing fancy at all.
No flowers or corporate-written cards. No candy or chocolate or whatever.
Just a fun, solid date night that was nice and simple – just how I like it.
Also take note of how I made the day more or less about me (I said I’d give you some gold).
Valentine’s Day to me is just another day to show that you do appreciate someone.
So, if your partner respects you, then they deserve to know that you appreciate them.
But if your partner is being cold, disrespecting you, being nasty towards you…
Then obviously they don’t deserve your appreciation.
For you to ignore that disrespect, to walk on eggshells and pretend it didn’t happen…
This is you showing that you’re not an authentic individual. And you’re going to think your partner is playing hard to get.
And when it comes to relationships…
You must be authentic and true to your self.
That’s how you develop the respect, that attitude, the vibe, the confidence, the aura (whatever you want to call it) that builds strong love and appreciation from your partner.
Doesn’t matter if they’re a full-blown BPD. It works. It’s what I do and so can you.
What I teach is simply based on my experiences and the dozens of success stories I receive every single week from men and women.
And that’s why I write these types of articles so you can implement exactly what I’ve been teaching into your life as fast as possible.
Science Once Again Proves What I’ve Been Saying For Years
I recently came across an article that confirmed through studies what I’ve been saying for years …
This article posted by The Telegraph this weekend states that nearly half of psychologists belong on the couch themselves.
It goes on to say that “an astonishing 46% suffer from symptoms of depression.”
Oh, this is some fun stuff.
I still regularly get hate mail from therapists and psychologists since I’m not a certified “expert.”
They claim that I’m poisoning the minds of men & women, assuming my readers are sheep and can’t make decisions for themselves.
I just love how narcissistic these so-called professionals are. After all, it’s not me who can’t control my emotions.
These same professionals with fancy certificates and degrees need as much help as their BPD clients.
Go figure.
I’ve actually known about this ridiculousness for over a decade now.
I’ve known dozens and dozens of men and women who went to therapy and only came out worse.
They often learn nothing new, something that could have been read in a $7 book they bought on the Kindle store.
Or the information they’re given is old and outdated from some therapist who’s been divorced 3 times.
You don’t need help from so-called “professionals.”
Now there are of course therapists and psychologists that do know their stuff.
But it’s almost like you’re flipping a coin at this point.
You’ll either get a therapist who knows his or her stuff – or you end up with some codependent who’s living in a dream world.
But we’re talking about your love life, your health and overall well-being.
Flipping a coin doesn’t sound like something I want to do when it comes to my health.
So, make sure you do your research.
Being great at research is a skill that will take you far in life.
I pride myself on being a great researcher – and so can you.
It’s most likely why you’re here reading this article, right? You did your own research on the internet and managed to stumble across my little home here on the interwebz.
Anyway, look …
I don’t want you to get the idea that therapy is bad. Or that it isn’t useful.
There are definitely people in our society who need therapy and benefit from it.
I just want you to understand the reality of the situation, which is this:
A lot of these “professionals” have serious problems going on in their lives.
So it’s just something to think about.
And when it comes to my life, I definitely had many rough patches as well.
Who hasn’t?
Going to school might get you certificates and such, but it definitely doesn’t mean you’re an expert.
So what makes somebody an expert is something?
Expertise comes through real-world experience!
It’s actually getting into the trenches, getting beat up a bit (or a lot), and actually learning from these experiences.
Most people just don’t learn when they get beat up.
It’s a lot easier to make rationalizations or excuses, to blame your romantic partner and all that.
It took me my 3rd failed relationship with an attractive borderline to finally slap my head around a bit and figure out where I was being a dummy.
I also had several real-life friends and mentors who instilled the right mindsets in me, especially when it came to relationships with highly emotional women.
I like unpredictable, emotional, “crazy” women, as do many men. Humans are emotional creatures.
They best partner is an emotional one.
Learning how to be in fun, emotional relationships is why I record 3-4 podcasts every single week.
It’s so you can learn how these relationships work. So you can feel happy and fulfilled knowing that they are very possible.
Are Male Borderline’s As Crazy As The Female Variety?
Here’s a question I recently received from a reader of my newsletter asking about male Borderlines.
Here we go:
“Hi Rick, I saw Ex Machina a month ago. You are right on all points. I’m not the Borderline – my guy is the borderline. I know there are fewer that are men, but for years I thought he was bipolar and then bam – borderline fit like a T as the saying goes. I took in every aspect of the Ex Machina movie and I’d love your expertise on my situation. So tell me: if it had been a male A.I. and a girl programmer would it have turned out the same for the girl programmer?”
I thought Ex Machina was one of the best movies to come out in years. I absolutely loved it.
When it comes to relationships, what’s most important is that the gender doesn’t matter nearly as much as people think.
And this is because …
Relationships are more about the Masculine/Feminine dynamic!
In this movie, the A.I. character of Ava actually took on the masculine role, even though she’s a female.
How so?
For starters, the male student who visits the compound is a low energy, low testosterone, nerdy, inexperienced beta male.
Ava is an A.I. who knows exactly what she wants, who is 100% confident in the things she says, who knows herself very well, is opinionated and so on.
These are all traits of masculinity. It’s alpha.
She’s the leader in the relationship.
Notice how it’s her plan to lead the escape. And the boy is happy to agree and go along with her plan.
She is clearly the masculine character despite having a very beautiful, feminine appearance to her.
As a result of her power, the guy falls into the “follower” role, getting sucked into her world and going with the flow.
That in itself is a very feminine attitude. It is the attitude of a beta.
Men who fall into these follower roles often end up in rebound relationships – they never get beyond that.
You often hear about weak women defending their abusive, manipulative, cheating, jerkboy boyfriends.
What would happen if you reversed the movie roles?
If you were to reverse the roles, I believe that you would end up with the exact same outcome …
The man would manipulate and take advantage of the woman, using her to help him escape from the compound.
Remember that it took several interviews for the A.I. to get inside the head of the nerd.
This is because it takes multiple interactions to make someone fall in love with you.
The gender does not matter as much as you think.
So what exactly matters then?
I believe that it always comes down to your mentality.
This is why it’s incredibly important that you train yourself with the right mindsets, the right attitude, the right habits, the right behaviors and techniques so you can no longer be manipulated and sucked into drama.
I’ve felt how horrible it is to be manipulated by others.
It’s why I developed my Manipulation Diffusion course. It’s currently only available inside of my Relationship Academy. Check it out if you’re tired of being manipulated and used.
We are officially entering the future
I’m a pretty big news reader, bouncing around from various sites throughout the day.
Check out the headline from this article I stumbled across on the Mirror:
“Makers of ‘Mindblowing’ Sex Robot With Virtual Vagina Swamped With Orders”
Yes, my friend, the future is here.
The nerds of the world are excited.
This sex robot has so many orders that they are having to cancel orders and turn people away.
They literally cannot produce this product fast enough to get it out to all the desperate men out there.
Is this really what the future holds?
Are robots who fill in for girlfriends going to be the future?
In my opinion, absolutely it will be.
As the world changes and technology further brings fantasies to reality …
Millions of men will simply ignore women who ask for space, and instead just turn to their robots.
It’s a lose-lose for both men and women!
Speaking of another article that was in the newspaper, a piece was written about how online dating feels like a job.
And this was written by a woman.
This just shows that both men and women feel that dating is currently extremely tedious and a waste of time.
When people get frustrated, they eventually hit a breaking point. It’s why porn and prostitution are more popular than ever in our society.
And in the near future, people will soon be turning to pleasure robots who will never say no, never push you away, never hurt you and so on.
I’s bad news for our intimate relationships.
My belief is that there are going to be a LOT of single people in the years to come, even more than there are now.
And in today’s society, there are more single men and women than at any time before.
So this number will continue to rise.
It doesn’t help that most people are sensitive snowflakes either …
But more single men and women is also a good thing for you!
If you’re out of a relationship, single and afraid to get back in the dating game, fear not.
My Better BPD Relationships course is full of power strategies so you can find yourself an amazing partner if you’re single.
Dating is all about your attitude, your charisma, your verbals and nonverbals.
When you get these right, you’ll have a vibe that others can’t resist.
Using my program will help you build that lust and desire your partner had for you in the past.
OT says
Rick, Excellent site taking on BPD traits as being extremely common place AND that mens’ co-dependence is likely more a relationship “turn off” than “crazy” BPD behavior.
Like you I was bludgeoned growing up with “be a nice guy” and it simply hasn’t worked out like I would have preferred in life. Over the years I have been shedding layers of “nice” skin and becoming a better human being. My innate desires (selfishness to some) makes me much more productive and frankly a better “catch”.
Currently my girl friend that exhibits a lot of BPD-like traits (yes, she’s a lot of fun, great sex, sweetest girl on the planet much of the time) is completely “turned off” by be and has gone cold. What’s funny (haha right…) is that she has listed all the things you have that are required to be a “catch” – lack of discipline (clingy, letting go of my hobbies/friendships), plastic (accommodating, doing it her way), not ready for a girl friend (de-valuation, triangulation with both her past and what she knows of mine), cheap (she wants me to buy her expensive gifts, doesn’t appreciate what I do already). And what’s amazing about all of this is she is absolutely right on the money. I have lacked discipline (wallowing a bit in post-divorce pity), have been overly accommodating (pussy whipped), don’t want to buy her expensive gifts (cheap), and am not ready for a girl friend (easily knocked off my feet).
It’s actually a beautiful experience right now. She’s a “handful” and I view her as my modern day relationship “boot camp”. While like you, I’m not big on saving the relationship, I am very much looking at how my co-dependence has ended up failing to lead the relationship to a healthy place. And I also know that the relationship had slim odds of working out even if I had done everything right.
I had strayed from my plan of fully getting my life setup the way I want it post divorce, and got sucked into letting the girl friend lead from her emotion based thinking and desires. ReignitetheFire has popped me out of the “game” and “psycho” research phases that I have been in. Now it’s time for me to setup my life, try on girls (long shot, but maybe the current girl friend) and enjoy life!
OT says
Rick – You might insert this as well.
You have completely broken me of the “she’s another crazy” and had me own my co-dependence and lack of leadership. Without healing past my own co-dependence, it would take magic dumb luck to have a healthy relationship. You’ve give me just enough insight and reassurance to settle down and get my own shiz together since every woman will be trying to test if I’ve got shiz. No more whining for me!