You know that you are a strong-willed man or woman. You’ve developed that rock-solid unshakability that doesn’t allow you to take crap from anyone.
You’ve experienced a lot over the years: toxic, dysfunctional relationships, friends you’ve had to cut off, family that doesn’t respect you, bosses that treat you like crap.
There have been a lot of mistakes along the way. We all make them. Even the strongest get knocked down from time to time.
After all, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
Perhaps you’re not this type of strong-willed person. But you definitely know someone like this. You may be close to a friend who is like this.
This person always cheers you on, makes your day better, and is a joy to be around. They seem to love the life they have and there’s never a dull moment.
Perhaps this person is you.
The only side you show to the world is your side of strength. Your social media rarely shows a moment of weakness. Everyone who follows you thinks you’re living the greatest life one could ever live.
But that’s not the whole story, is it?
On the outside, you appear to be unbreakable. You have rock-solid confidence that stifles people in their tracks. They want to be a part of your life and have a lifestyle that’s similar to yours.
You inspire everyone around you to be better versions of themselves. This is what you’ve decided to give to the world, to show that they can make it.
The Side That Nobody Sees
If only that was how you truly were all the time…
Unfortunately, nobody is perfect. But, there’s no reason to see this as a negative. In fact, one of my favorite core values is “imperfect is Perfect.”
It’s called being a human. The more experiences you have that hurt you, the stronger you’ll come out on the other side.
It’s why I love being an entrepreneur and why most of my friends these days are self-employed. We are like-minded and have great chemistry. The struggled we’ve endured over the years are very similar.
The worst thing you can do is suffer in silence. If you don’t find men and women to surround yourself with who have similar experiences to yours, you will continue to feel broken inside.
You will continue to spend all your energy pretending to be someone that you’re not. An outlet is needed. And in this internet-connected age, it’s not that hard to meet people who are similar to you.
Therefore, it’s important that you no longer hide your vulnerability. It’s okay to share to the world that you haven’t been feeling your best self lately.
Doing this will create even better connections with those who follow you. People want to read and hear about the real side of you.
I’m not asking you to air out all your dirty laundry. But, to show that you’re human can bring massive change to your life.
Do You Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve?
Despite what you might read on the internet, both men and women experience broken hearts that feel impossible to recover from.
Some people were born to love. They want to give it their all to a significant other. While your desire for love has good intentions, wearing your heart on your shoulder can often lead to a codependency-style relationship.
This isn’t a black or white issue — it’s not some diagnosis where you’re either codependent or not.
Codependency is behavioral. There’s levels to this. You will have days where you make a lot of mistakes due to feeling more codependent than normal.
Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you’re feeling incredibly lonely and in need of some love. As a result, you may become too needy which can be a major turn off to your partner.
As the weeks and months go by, these behavior patterns can leads to a relationship where your partner is no longer attracted to. You are trying desperately to make the relationship work, but it seems to only causes your partner to push you away.
The men and women who relate most to my work are those who have a lot of love to give but don’t receive it in return.
It doesn’t matter if you see yourself as a strong-willed man or woman — it’s in the moments of weakness that causes your relationship to turn sour. The mistakes add up over a period of time until the relationship is doomed for good.
Even the strongest people make mistakes. That’s why the lesson here is to NEVER give what isn’t deserved.
Many women find themselves giving everything to their sociopath boyfriend who only gives a fraction in return.
It’s these types of women that my heart goes out to. My mission to help as many people as possible to develop their awareness and self-worth so that you’re no longer giving what isn’t deserved.
Healing Your Broken Heart Takes Time
What makes you strong is how you recover from your pit of despair. It’s how you repair your broken heart and move forward in life with this new-found awareness.
The first step is Acceptance. You must accept that the love you provide has been taken for granted. Accept that you gave too much to someone who didn’t deserve it.
One of my girl friends told me that once a woman falls in love with a man, she’s screwed. She’s locked in and will try to make things work even if the guy is a total douche canoe.
A big part of what I teach is to prevent that from happening. Never wear your heart on your shoulder and make sure you take things slowly so that you don’t fall quickly for someone who’s actually a psychopath.
Time heals wounds. The sooner you can open up to close friends that you can trust, the sooner your heart will mend those broken wounds.
Do not create drama out of this. Use your hurt for something productive. Start exercising, eating healthy, creating art. Start a business.
And definitely do NOT go back to the ex that hurt you. When you move forward and start improving yourself, he’ll probably come crawling back. If you take back your shitty partner, you’re just enabling their shitty behavior. Change is something these people won’t do.
Try not to sit around and blame yourself all day. Relationships take two healthy adults to be successful. You can only control your own emotions. It’s not your job to control the emotions of others.
Last but not last, you must forgive yourself. Being able to move forward and let the past die is an essential skill of being a fully-functional mature adult. Many men and women are incapable of this. They cling to the past because they fear the uncertain future.
Don’t Sleep Around While You Heal
Here’s one last tip I recommend for people who feel broken on the inside:
Sleeping around won’t help your pain. It is simply a distraction. Some of my friends who are extremely confident on the outside continue to sleep around due to the deep pain they have on the inside.
If I wasn’t good friends with these women, I would assume that they were the most confident badass’s on the planet.
But, it’s your body and you may do as you wish. I feel that sex is an important part of being a healthy adult. The healthier you are, the better the sex is because you’re fully comfortable and confident with yourself.
Some men and women use sex as a weapon of control. They’ll be amazing in the bedroom, but shitty outside of it. I’ve known several women who continue to date terrible men because they would give her great orgasms.
As tempting as it may be, no man or woman is worth dating if they do not treat you with respect.
Focus on yourself. Don’t bother dating until you no longer feel broken on the inside. You’ll be much more capable of attracting the right person when you’re healthy and happy on the inside.