To continue our series on Toxicity, today I’m going to talk about some signs of a broken relationship, my beliefs on why there are so many of them out there and what you can do to avoid ending up in one altogether.
Divorce rates and broken relationships are at an all-time high because of the fact that most people have toxic beliefs and mentalities. Men are weaker and more passive than ever. Women are This creates a domino effect where women are lost and confused by who they should and shouldn’t date.
While there are men out there like me that understand long-term attraction and relationship success, at least 90% of men and women have no clue. This is why you can’t really blame women for dating ‘assholes’ when the rest of the men around her are weak and passive.
Now I’m not saying that you need to become some douche to attract women. All I’m saying is that when it comes to relationships, men really need to learn how to keep the attractiveness that initially interested the woman.
While it’s easy to list out a bunch of fails that people do in relationships that cause them to fail, I am 100% positive that at the end of the day, the majority of the responsibility rests on men.
Guys: if you know how to consistently be attractive, your woman will also consistently remain attracted. While there may be red flags and such that I’ll discuss later, attractiveness is something that is irresistible no matter who you are.
So as you can see, some obvious signs to a relationship on the path to failure are things such as:
- Being a doormat
- Being passive
- Being a pushover
- Rarely taking the lead
- Lack of mysteriousness
- Lack of fun
- Lack of coolness
If you are a man and you are any of these things above, you are failing miserably. Your partner’s attraction for you is flying out the window. You’re really going to need to do some heavy lifting to change things around which means focusing 100% on you and not your partner.
Now for the women out there, maybe your man is slipping away. Maybe he’s just lost the attraction he’s had for you in the past. What can you do at this point to get it back?
I personally believe that women have it harder than us guys. As long as men understand the game and being attractive, they’ll never have trouble keeping women around. On the otherhand, women get older and less attractive. They have to work really hard on remaining attractive for their man.
This can mean anything from being more sexual to working out consistently, eating healthier, dressing sexy, etc. You’ve got to do things to keep your man interested in you. Don’t be afraid to break the norm. Men that have options like women that are actively working on being attractive.
Can You Save a Broken Relationship?
It depends on how you define a broken relationship. I am of the mentality that when something falls apart, it’s time to move on to better things. It’s part of my winner’s mentality as I don’t walk around feeling defeated.
However, most people do in fact walk around feeling defeated. They still believe that they are in love with their ex and they would take him or her back in a heart beat. It is really such a horrible way to live because you are just asking to miss out on future opportunities.
I do a lot of coaching. One of the most common themes I tell my clients is to not be thinking about ways to get an ex back. Even if your still together with your lover, I don’t want you trying to figure out how to fix it.
Most people get obsessed with trying certain techniques or therapy or whatever to fixing their broken relationship. The reality is that relationships are a two-way game and it’s going to take more than you to fix things.
This is why it’s important to focus on the only thing worth fixing – YOU.
Whether your partner wants to join you for the ride or not is up to him or her. Let them figure themselves out during this time. You just focus on yourself and you’ll be amazed at how doing just this one thing can make a positive difference.
So whether you’re straight or gay, your partner will notice a change as you work on yourself. They might adapt and stick with you, or they might become incredibly jealous and spiteful of who you’re becoming. Just keep improving yourself and make the right choices when they present themselves.
Additional Advice for Broken Relationships
My goal with this website is to open up your mind and free you from this bullshit reality that 90% of the population lives in. I want you to take the ‘red pill’ so to speak. I really believe that relationships are incredibly simple once you understand the core concepts of quality living.
It can take some time to detox your mind of all the crap you’ve been told about relationships your whole life, but it’s really the only way to end the toxicity that most people believe.
When you look at the stats of failed relationships, it is truly mind boggling. While about 55% of marriages end in divorce, I would say another 25% stay together despite not having any intimacy.
I personally believe that 90% of relationships are not healthy and the two involved are just going along with it because it’s all they know. They remain together far longer due to religious reasons, children, etc. despite being bored, full of regret and wishing they had more.
It’s okay to get into relationships since you learn from them, but you shouldn’t be sticking with a partner because you feel like ‘it’s the right thing to do.’
By reading my articles, you’re making that first step towards transformation. As said earlier, you really only have control over you and you alone. While it’s important to learn the game of dating and relationships, you shouldn’t be spending a whole lot of time investing in fixing your partner and the relationship.
You Can Only Save Yourself
I want you to forget all about the idea of ‘saving’ your partner or relationship. You can only control yourself – your behaviors, your actions, your responses, your reactions, etc.
I personally don’t enjoy helping people ‘get their ex back’ because the focus in on the ex. Why focus on someone that left you when you could be focusing that time on improving your own lifestyle? It just doesn’t make sense. If you instead build your own attractiveness, you’ll have more and more people wanting to be with you. Stop being a defeatist!
At the end of the day, all you have control over are your emotions, your beliefs, your mindsets, your behavior and how you react to situations. You need to leave your ego at the door or else you’re not going to learn anything.
There’s obvious little micro pieces to the game such as communication and how to speak to the opposite sex, but that is such a minor part to the game. Your macro is much more important because that’s what people are attracted to for the long haul.
The more time you spend focused on bad habits, bad beliefs, bad relationships and less on you, the more toxicity you’re going to end up with.
– Rick Reynolds