I have enough relationship experience to know that when you’re a legit, cool individual, you’re going to receive attention and re-engagement from lovers of the past. This is just the reality when you’re consistently forward-moving and improving yourself as I always suggest.
This article is about turning a rebound relationship into something more serious. The reality is that a lot of men and women aren’t on the same page with the people that we meet and hook up with.
Whether it’s a new person you’ve met or a lover from the past, chances are either you or him/her isn’t ready to get into a full-fledged relationship at this time. Maybe you’re still recovering from a relationship or the girl you just hooked up with is on the rebound.
Before we begin the lessons here, I wrote a free mini-guide about the #1 mistake that causes your lover’s to push you away, resent you and ultimately cheat on you. Download it here:
The guide goes really well with the overall lessons you’ll learn here. So check it out after you’re done reading this. It will be sitting in your email inbox.
Anyway, I want to tackle some important concepts here in this article to help you turn your rebound relationship into something that can last longer.
A Rebound Relationship Is Okay
I really believe that a lot of people have these moral issues where they feel bad for hooking up with someone too fast or trying so hard to get into bed and hook up. But this isn’t a bad thing at all and you need to accept that.
I’ve had some amazing one-night stands that I look back on and I’m proud of. I also have other’s where I’m not too proud of lol but that doesn’t mean I’m going to beat myself up for it and feel bad. No way!
it just is what it is. People get attracted to each other, the situation escalates and hook ups happen. As long as you’re smart about it and being safe and not just hooking up with everything that walks, you shouldn’t be feeling regrets.
Sometimes you’ll hook up with someone that’s attractive and cool and has all the qualities you like in a person – then that person disappears and you never hear from him or her again.
You know what? That’s okay. Sure it sucks that things didn’t move further from that but you shouldn’t have regrets and beat yourself up. You had a good night with that individual and accept it for what it is.
Now can additional skills turn a rebound into something better? You bet.
Drop Expectations and Stop Assuming Things
As I mentioned earlier, sometimes an ex will make contact with you. Whether your ex is interested in dating again or just plain hooking up, you’ll get your answer sooner or later.
However, when this does happen you shouldn’t be expecting anything. One of my qualities is that I don’t expect anything whether I’m meeting someone new or talking to an old fling. This is a very high quality attribute to have as a mature individual.
Even when I’ve been dating a girl for months I still don’t have that many expectations. I do have some as the relationship grows obviously but I’m not going to have any for the first few weeks at minimum.
As a mature male, I understand that women especially are emotional and their feelings change all the time. A girl from the past wanting to hook up with me could very well change her feelings about that an hour later.
So because I understand this, I know not to expect anything. I know that I need to simply stick to what I know is attractive and I’ll usually get the girl.
I don’t come into a date expecting to get some sort of hook up. A lot of guys think that by taking a girl out and ‘showing her a good time’ they’re entitled to a late night blowjob or a romantic walk into the bedroom and clothes coming off.
While that may happen, it’s still a fantasy in your head and what you think might happen will 90% of the time end up much differently.
The solution is to drop your expectations. Stop assuming you deserve anything from people. Focus instead on the skills I teach and you’ll get what you want.
Lets Turn A Rebound Relationship Into Something More Serious
So then if you’re not expecting or assuming anything, how do you actually transition from ‘hook up buddy’ to something more real and healthy?
Well, I’m going to give you the male perspective because this is what I do and what I believe is most healthy. However, I will also give advice for my lady readers as well since I love you women dearly.
The key word here is patience and commitment especially if you want the relationship to be healthy.
Refer to my article about commitment and interest. If the only type of commitment you’re getting currently is just a hang and bang, then I hope my tips below can help you transition into more commitment and something serious and healthy.
Men: Don’t ever push a woman into a relationship. If she’s new to the city, on the rebound or simply looking for a fun time, then be that fun time.
Don’t be the guy that’s pushing your girl into something more. If she wants something more, she’ll let you know. Believe me.
Even if she doesn’t ask you what you two are, just go along with it. I’ve dated girls where it was completely obvious we were an item but we never had the relationship talk. And it was great.
Once she drops the relationship talk, then you can go with it and take things to a more serious level.
But whatever you do, don’t be the guy that’s trying to box your girl in. She’ll let you know when she’s ready to take things more serious.
Women: Now for the women, I believe this is really a more serious issue for you. I know women that get completely wrecked because an ex boyfriend comes back and simply wants to use her for sex.
Don’t be this woman!
If you truly don’t want a relationship with your ex and are strong enough to just be hook up friends then go for it.
But for most women, it’s really difficult to do that. You need to make your ex prove himself to you before you let him enter you. If he’s not willing to invest time and effort into seeing you and talking to you for a period of time, then all he wants is to use your body for his pleasure.
Now if you’re rebounding and sleeping around, then you’re most likely not ready for a relationship. Time heals wounds so you’re eventually going to meet a guy that you’re going to want to take things further.
For this guy, you’ll have to use your judgement of his situation. If you’ve been seeing him for awhile, then feel free to drop the relationship type of questions.
If he’s not willing to get in a relationship with you, then it’s up to you to decide whether you want to keep sleeping with him or end things. If he’s not ready to get serious after sleeping with you for awhile, then I guarantee you it will never work out. So you’re best bet is to end things and find a new guy.
If you’re seeing a guy that just comes over, bangs you and then leaves, do you really think he’s going to want to be more with you? I highly doubt it. But go ahead and ask him if he wants to take things to the relationship level.
If he says he’s not ready for a relationship or anything like that, then he’ll never change his mind. So again it’s up to you if you want to end things or continue being his play toy.
You need to be smart about these situations. A guy rebounding is usually not interested in a relationship. So if you actually like the guy, then you need to not offer up your body every single time he comes over. Make him work for it.
If he’s not willing to work for it, then he only wants you for sex.
Again, it’s up to you if you want to be his play toy. So you’ve got to make the decision.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a night of fun sex with another individual. But when you start wanting more, the game changes. My goal with this article is to help you to not get hurt. Drop your expectations and let things evolve over time. Make the right judgment calls and get in or out.
P.S. Check out my Better BPD Relationships course if you enjoyed this article. I don’t advertise it often, but it’s all about being a high quality individual that attracts high quality relationships. It will make you the best person you can possibly be on a macro and micro level.