Finding Success in BPD and Codependent Relationships
There are plenty of good lessons written by Shark in this post IF you believe in the power of Cold Approaching.
But, as you’ll read in my follow-up that follows the post by Shark, you will see why I fundamentally disagree with the idea of Cold Approaching.
Shark received a question from a reader wanting help on cold approaching women. Here is the long, detailed, powerful answer that he gave to him that many other “gurus” would charge money for:
Pervading the life coaching scene are certain beaten to death concepts that are understood only in theory. I’ve written before on the various common traits and habits of self-made men: persistence, an intense dedication to self-education, a god complex, and a surfeit of psychosexual energy to name a few.
But a question posed by a recent colleague of mine made me realize how little the more abstract concepts are understood. He asked me to name some of the distinct characteristics I saw in men of ambition, but more importantly, asked me to DEFINE them in a clear manner. The latter part I had trouble with, but eventually after a bit of thinking I figured out a reasonable way to do so. I hope to express that same clarity in this post, and perhaps give you a more transparent understanding of said concepts.
If it bothers you, Dump Her.
Before going on to explain why such a trivial complication should be resolved in such an extreme and abrupt manner, we need to explore the idea of “cutting losses” and why it’s such an extensively circulated solution among the dating community.
Almost 90% of the time you have a problem with a girl, the immediate solution offered by any seasoned Don Juan will be “break up with her.” It’s not because we’re all unemotional cyborgs, the answer has more to do with efficiency.
Originally written by Shark on April 17, 2012
A question comes in:
Some other reader asked about making friends, could you please do a post on this? Your book mentions the skills necessary to AMOG them, but what about to make them? I’ve read through all your past posts, and gathered that practicing social skills is a necessary aspect, but could you give some insight on the friendship dynamic itself possibly?
Friendship is an evolved concept, developing primarily because social codependency increases our chances for survival. If it did not, there would be no herding phenomena, nor a clique/pack mentality. In fact, an interesting book I once read (Death From A Distance by Paul Bingham) correlates human cooperation directly with the development of efficient methods to control conflict through coercion.
A reader comments:
“So Shark, what if you’re not necessarily looking for sex, but just a meaningful relationship? Sex could be an option later in the relationship, but I just want to focus building rapport and attraction. All of these articles seem to focus on the pussy rather than the relationship.”
Building a meaningful relationship in a world filled with feminazi propaganda and women who have had their egos bloated to legendary proportions via facebook/instagram fawning is almost an absurd goal.
Originally written by Shark on March 16, 2012
I got the idea for this post after reading someone’s thread on a pick up artist forum regarding soft nexts to handle drama in relationships — an idea I wholly support. I noticed that right after, people were immediately pointing out the issue of “communicating” with your girlfriend, a very misleading and instinctively beta response.
Most people on this site would agree that the majority of relationship advice being circulated in the mainstream is highly feminized, to the point of blurring the line between what is “good” and “bad” in a relationship, and insidiously aimed at upholding the feminine imperative. To illustrate:
Reader Comments:
“Hey Shark, on the topic of punishing your girlfriend for acting bitchy, where is the line drawn between a just accusation and complaining/attention-seeking?”
You should never “accuse” or “complain” at all. Both would be taking a far too engaged approach. To keep your girlfriend’s heart constantly fluttering for you, you have to stay in a perpetual state of amused mastery, not noxious anxiety.