Taking the "Crazy" Out of Your Relationships
I got an email from one of my coaching clients about how difficult it is for him to tell when love is real and when love is a fantasy.
They were dating a person with BPD and everything was great for the first few weeks or so.
No fights, no arguing, no cold behavior. Just warm affection and intimacy every single time they hung out.
It was like this person they met was finally the perfect person they’ve been searching for.
LOL I CAN’T
I thought it would be a good time to take a ‘break’ and write to you about why being single does not suck and how if you use your time wisely, it’s the best time for learning and growing as an individual.
I believe that one of the most common errors we make is when we’re alone and bored, tired of going to bed by ourselves. It’s at these most vulnerable times when our emotions get the best of us and we make, as I like to say, poor choices.
1) Humans are emotional beings. They are what drives us day by day.
2) A weak emotional state can be easily controlled by others.
3) Start to pave your own path in life.
4) Learn to love the most powerful word in the world: NO.
5) Interdependence is key. Dependence leads to suffering.
6) Cut out the toxic people in your life.
7) Forgive the past, drop grudges, and move on with your life.
8) End any attention-seeking behavior you may have.
Emotions suck. Emotions are amazing. Wait… wtf am I getting at?
Oh… emotions are up and down! Duh. And learning how to master and control your emotions is key to enjoying a successful, fulfilling life full of joy and relationships.
I feel like emotional control is one of life’s crucial skills that separates the weak from the strong.
It only makes sense that we keep learning about how to master our emotions.
The skill of gaining control of your emotions is not an easy one. As humans, our emotions do and should play a major role in our lives. For good or for bad is where the skill part becomes important.
Today I had an itch to write about a popular topic: The Fear of Abandonment and my experiences with this in my past BPD relationships that failed.
And my first opinion is that it’s really one of the most confusing things about people to understand. Thinking logically, as most people do, it just doesn’t make sense that someone with these fears of abandonment would push you away when you’re doing everything you can to be a great boyfriend or girlfriend.
So what’s the deal? What’s going on beneath the surface that you’re not seeing or understanding? Obviously the words he or she says isn’t matching up with the actions. So what’s the fear of abandonment really all about?
It’s very common in relationships to find your partner pushing you away for reasons you can’t figure out. Sometimes you may be dating someone that just isn’t very good with communicating issues and would rather hide.
Both situations can lead to toxic relationships and it’s why I wanted to bring you this article today about some beliefs that could be pushing your partner away.
As always, these beliefs may not apply directly to your situation, but they’re still good things to think about and consider. Perhaps your partner has these beliefs as well and is causing issues in the relationship.
In my opinion, if you’re in a serious relationship with someone, it’s never okay to just push someone away and go into hiding without communicating. It’s a major red flag and something I lookout for when I’m in the early stages of dating as it is a good indicator of what’s to come should drama stir up later in the relationship.
It’s been a busy week for me and so I’m a little late bringing you this post. I definitely want to provide you all with more than one article per week so I hope I can free up some time in the future to do this.
With the holidays approaching, it’s no better time to talk about relationship drama. From about October to around April, I notice a large uptick in the amount of relationships people get into. Call it the relationship season if you will.
Then around April or Spring time, people tend to break up. This is personally what I’ve noticed. I seem to believe it’s due to summer traveling and other vacation plans that tend to split people apart as well as the fact that it’s getting warmer and people are doing things.
Relationships are not easy. Anyone that tells you otherwise is full of it. A lot of what we learn growing up and from the general advice out there just isn’t accurate – I know this all too well and it’s why I’ve spent a lot of time teaching myself all of these things here that I write about.
Today I’m bringing you a list of 10 things that I find people waste their time with when it comes to relationships. These are mindsets and mentalities that can really mess things up for you in both life and relationships, in my opinion.
Everyone has their own beliefs and their own idea of what’s right and wrong. These are simply what I’ve found throughout my experiences and coaching hundreds and hundreds of both men and women.