Did you know that I’m an introvert? It’s probably why I prefer writing instead of getting in front of a camera and blasting my face onto social media like other “influencers” do.
I’m not particularly shy, but you need to earn my attention. It’s one of my high-quality attributes. But, I used to be way more shy than I am now and I struggled to date women because of it.
Getting a girlfriend was something that (I believed) was simply not possible for me. Throughout my 20’s, I dabbled in pick-up stuff (which is 99% bullshit), read a lot of books, had a few BPD girlfriends.
For the amount of work I put in to try to get a great girlfriend, I failed over and over again. Here’s why:
I was trying way too hard to get a woman’s attention.
I fell for the common trap of chasing and pursuing girls. Thanks to my upbringing, I believed that I needed to chase a girl and express my feelings in order to get her to fall for me.
I eventually learned that I was doing everything wrong. I only took several failed BPD relationships and a shattered mentality to reach this point…
When it comes to getting a girlfriend, I really believe in the idea of K.I.S.S.
What is Kiss you ask? I’ll tell ya:
Keep It Simple, Stupid.
I never kept things simple in my 20’s. I was trying WAY too hard to get girls.
I was subscribed to about 50 email lists, I had a bunch of dating books and products that I’m sure you’ve heard of, I was investing all this money into improving my dating life.
(And don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a good thing to invest money in improving yourself).
That’s what I was missing throughout college and all those years of failure. Girl’s would always push me away.
Stuck in the friend zone was the story my life, unfortunately.
I eventually learned that I wasn’t putting myself first, trying to improve my overall situation in life.
Everything that I was doing was with the hopes that girls would like me! It’s a terrible mindset to have.
I Was Really Looking For A “Magic Pill.”
A shortcut if you will.
I wanted to “solve” my introverted, shy nature because I believed that I needed to be outgoing and an extrovert in order to get a girlfriend.
But, I wanted girls to like me. And, that was the problem. This mentality leads to codependent relationships which are always toxic.
I thought I needed to be “alpha” and have all these different techniques and pick up lines to get a girl attracted to me.
Oh how wrong I was.
And there are millions upon millions of guys in our society today falling into the same misguided path that I was on.
There are tons of companies out there selling ebooks and programs in order to take advantage of these men who are desperate for an answer.
But You Can’t Buy Yourself A Girlfriend.
And, you can’t suddenly change your personality into some extroverted alpha male that all the women want.
What I realized is that you either “got the juice” or you don’t.
Unfortunately, most men simply don’t have it.
The good news is that you can develop this side of you. However, you truly must want it for yourself and NOT for anybody else.
Some men are simply lucky, born with great genetics which requires no work on their part to get a girlfriend.
Even if they’re shy dudes, they still have dozens and dozens of girls competing day and night for his attention.
He simply has to pick and choose and he’s got her. These men are a tiny percentage in society, but they definitely do exist. You probably know one or two.
But for the rest of us, we were dealt a bad hand. The world isn’t fair and until you accept this reality, you’re going to struggle with girls
This is especially true if you’re an introvert and shy.
How An Introvert Can Get A Girlfriend
So how do you go about meeting women and getting a girlfriend if you’re shy, introverted and all around bad at socializing?
Well, you need to first forget the idea of getting a girlfriend. Don’t let that be your goal here. It’s not a healthy mindset to have.
Completely remove this idea from your head. I know it’s tough because we all want what we can’t have, but you truly must want to develop yourself for your own good. It’s the ONLY way, believe me.
If you’re not careful, you’ll end up dating a girl on the rebound. And that’s never fun because she’s just going to leave you the minute her ex rings her up.
While you’re focusing these next several years (yes, years) on improvement, you’re bound to meet some women who will want you. It’s going to happen.
Therefore, just be aware of this. These women will most likely be low quality, rebounding women as I’ve stated above.
Keep your emotions under control or else you’ll end up getting too attached due to your old mentality of wanting a girlfriend so badly.
You’re going to dedicate this time to improving your attractiveness and your level of desirability as much as possible.
Getting A Girlfriend Should Feel Effortless
I wish I realized this early on in my life. If I did, I would have spent my late teens and early 20’s on this simple reality.
By dedicating a year of your life to a total transformation, you can get a girlfriend even if you’re a shy introvert.
But this path isn’t easy for us type of guys. We’re naturally unattractive. Women don’t want who we are naturally. And that’s a big realization you must have.
You have to truly believe that you need to massively change. If you only change a little bit, you could find yourself dating a crazy narcissist.
These relationships are tough, and it’s the shy type of guys who usually end up with them. This is due to your overall desperation for female attention. A scarce mentality.
I’m telling you this now so that you’ll look out for it in the future. Don’t be surprised when this happens!
I feel like most guys who are on this improvement path will eventually experience the BPD girl. While it is possible to date a girl with BPD, it could be disastrous if you’re not prepared.
Anyway, here’s some more tips to get you started on this journey:
Get Lean and Build Some Muscle
Yes, you’re going to start with the physical. In this day and age, most girls care about looks more than personality. It’s simply the truth.
The good news about getting lean is that it can take a few months if you’re overweight and have never cut fat before.
During this time where you’re getting lean, you can also be learning about relationships and dating and women and all that fun stuff.
My blog here alone has 100+ pages of articles. And there are millions of blogs that are full of good info for you to educate yourself.
For example, I wrote about how important it is to give your girlfriend space. This is because it allows her to miss you and pursue you, which is exactly what you want in a healthy relationship.
This is why I always recommend men to focus on their physical appearance first.
Whether you’re an introvert or not, it won’t matter when you’re out with friends and a girl from across the room sees you.
She finds you attractive and makes her way over to you. She “accidentally” bumps into you, and you strike up a conversation.
Whether you lose the girl at this point or not will be determined by your personality.
However, you wouldn’t even have this conversation if you didn’t look attractive to her. So, it’s important to keep this in mind.
I’m Still An Introvert At Heart
I would much rather sit on the couch with a cute girlfriend on a Friday night than make my way to the bars.
This is who I am.
So, I purposely try to date women who are similar to me. I want to date women who enjoy the couch over a night at the club.
In fact, I’ve learned over the years that most of your “wild” party girls actually want to quit that lifestyle and find a guy they can chill out with.
It’s as if these girls are going out in hope they’ll meet a man who will pull them out of that life.
It’s a wild reality I discovered being in the field for several years.
I Don’t “Pick Up” Women When I Go Out.
This is another big fact that I want to quickly share before moving on to the next topic:
I’m not a “PUA” or whatever. I don’t run techniques or lines or routines to get girls to like me.
I just run “Rick” game, meaning that I’m just my confident self when I go out despite being a shy introvert.
But I wouldn’t have the confidence if I didn’t spend a year working on my body.
If I didn’t go through that period of learning about proteins, carbs, fats, dieting, putting on muscle, shedding weight…
I wouldn’t be happy about the body I’ve developed.
Building Yourself Both Physically and Mentally Is How You Get a Girlfriend.
That’s the big takeaway of this lesson.
I know it might not be what you’re looking for, but this is the reality.
It’s going to take time. The key is consistency. This is a lifestyle change that you should be on for the rest of your life.
Whether you have a girlfriend or not, stay on this path forever! Let women be a by-product of your success. That’s really the best way for shy guys to get girlfriends.
Check out my daily email newsletter to help you stay motivated on this journey.
Learning and mastering relationships is a skill that you must constantly be learning.
Let’s move on to a new topic.
Here’s one way to get that BPD ex back
The positive reviews continue to roll in from men and women who have gone through my Better BPD Relationships course.
Here’s one of my favorites that I got this week:
“Hey Rick,
I’m sending you this because I want others to see it. I am hoping it will give them something positive to keep in their minds.
I had written about 6 weeks ago that my BPD girlfriend had broken up with me because I had been making all the mistakes and missteps that people normally do when dating these types of women.
Well…I have been following Rick’s courses. I have been working on ME. Sure enough, about two weeks ago she is calling me, texting me, and asking to get back together. All of the drama is gone and she’s actually telling me SHE needs to work on HERSELF so that she can be a more suitable partner.
I am amazed at the turnaround, wanted to say thanks to Rick, and let you all know that this stuff is real and it works.
– Dennis”
Thank you for the kind words, Dennis.
And, you’re correct. When you take the time to implement the lessons I write about, you may be able to date someone with bpd.
Getting a message like this is why I continue the good fight. And I’ll continue to fight this fight until the world wakes up.
After all, what I teach isn’t what you find out in common society. We’re an anti-mainstream community for a reason.
We’re outsiders here, rebels as I like to say.
I like to take matters in my own hands and figure out the answers for myself.
When you do this, you will be shocked at how different the truth is from what everybody else is saying.
That’s why I created this website, that’s why I send out daily emails, that’s why I develop courses and record relationship coaching podcasts.
It’s all about taking life into your own hands and realizing that you hold the power.
This is why I, along with thousands of men and women, are able to now make their once-lost BPD relationships succeed.
What’s really interesting is that the common mainstream information we get is actually designed to make us fail.
They want society to be dependent on them for information. They don’t want free-thinkers and independent minds.
And as they continue to succeed in their plans (which they are), my relationship system will only become more powerful as it falls into lesser and lesser hands.
A “side-effect” of what I teach is that you’ll often find your ex coming back to you. And, you’ll feel like you didn’t do anything to make it happen. She just came crawling back on her own.
At least you’ll know that I’ll still be here, even if I’m the last one standing.
I hope that you’ll give the finger to the mainstream B.S. and be a rebel like me.
Let’s move on to the last topic of this article:
The “Foundational Pillars” To My Relationship Success System
One of my anti-mainstream “heroes” is Dante Nero.
He runs one of the best podcasts called the Beige Phillip Show.
I’ve mentioned Dante a few times, and I highly recommend you become an avid listener to their podcast. They have over 200+ episodes to date.
Dante has been very influential on my success in relationships (and life in general) that it made me want to do my own weekly “radio” show.
One of the perks of being a member of my Relationship Academy is that you get access to every single one of these episodes.
They’re short and to the point, no more than 20-30 minutes each.
I keep them short so you get the most gold as possible – no fluff!
For example:
Episode 03 is all about the “Fundamental Pillars” to my relationship system.
This episode is all about why these pillars are so effective at giving you the results you desire (even if you’re dating a crazy Borderline type).
In Episode 03, I rap about:
* The RIGHT way to do Valentine’s Day as a man (while making other women jealous of your relationship at the same time).
* Why trying to get your partner to like you is a waste of time (and what to do instead).
* The best way to get your lover to support you, want you and never let you go (even if he or she is hot/cold with you).
* Why it doesn’t matter how many times your partner says “I love you, baby!”
* The main reason why your partner becomes subconsciously and biologically turned off towards you.
* More talk about why the nice, good guys out there continue to get the cold shoulders.
* Why the length of the relationship doesn’t really matter if there aren’t many _______.
* The common, mainstream mentality (especially in America) that literally repels any sort of love and happiness from lasting in your life.
* How to look good and feel good about yourself with a few adjustments you can do starting today (your self-image is very important to relationship success).
* And much more…
This recording clocks in at just over 35 minutes. It’s longer than what I usually intend to do, but it’s worth it.
That will do it for this weeks truth grabs.
We all want great relationships. We all want amazing girlfriends. And, you shouldn’t let your shyness prevent you from finding love.
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