So this is a rather odd topic for me to cover… Most people will look at you and say “Bro! Why the HELL would you want your cheating garbage hobo ass bum of an ex back??”
But hey, I get it. I’ve been there. One of the first girls I dated cheated on me over and over again, and I kept taking her back. And I don’t really regret it thaaaat much (just a little bit).
So while everyone around you is saying how you should forget about that dirty filth-caked gym sock with his or her new play thing, let’s leave those people behind for a bit and have an actual discussion about it.
And by discussion, I mean me sharing my thoughts on this whole issue. I might bring up some old experiences as well. I haven’t decided yet. I don’t plan out these articles like others do (nor do I talk like a robot that bores you to tears. I hope you don’t mind).
But before we get into the nitty-gritty, the down and dirty, I want you to grab my free mini-guide using the link below. It’s all about the #1 mistake that pushes people away, causes them to cheat and so on.
Got the report? Sweet! Check it out after you go through the article here. It should be chillin’ like a villain in your inbox. I’d send you lollypops and gum drops if I could, but stupid technology hasn’t caught up to that yet…
Anyway, enough dickin’ around. Time to dive in.
Why You Want Your Cheating Ex Back
Let’s face it — your friends and family probably think you’re crazy for wanting your cheating ex back. I’ve been there and I’ll talk about some of these relationships further down in the post.
I just know that nothing is ever as black and white as it appears to be. Yeah, it sucks to get cheated on. Yeah, it might be foolish to try to make it work.
But sometimes making the relationship work for you is simply a better option than going out into the dating arena (which is an absolute mess these days).
Not to mention if you have kids with your ex, that will just make the situation even more complex.
Further more, sometimes people just fuck up. We all make mistakes. It happens. And if your ex genuinely wants to make amends with you, then you have every right in the world to give it another shot.
Your Relationship Is Unique To You
It’s really easy to hop around the web and read all these generic articles about breaking up and getting back together and how “evil” your cheating ex is. They all generally say the same thing and it gets really old if you ask me (but you probably didn’t ask me so lets move on!).
But the reality is that YOU are a unique, beautiful snowflake. Your relationship is unique to you and nobody else. It’s easy for others to point fingers and tell you how to think and act, but the reality of the situation is that these people aren’t in your shoes.
We’re all guilty. I’m sure you’ve given relationship advice to your friends just as I have. But the difference is that I get to sit here and write to the WORLD! Okay I’m kidding. There is no difference between me and you, and believe it or not I don’t give relationship advice to my friends.
The reason for this is that I don’t like to appear as an expert. In fact, I never claim to be one. I don’t like to sit on a soap box and tell people how to live their lives.
However, I do enjoy writing about relationships and sharing my experiences. I’ve dated a lot over the years and I have a lot of crazy experiences with some crazy ass women (and there are a LOT of crazy people in this world we live in).
So while your friends and your family may have your best interest at heart, you must trust yourself first. The very first relationship pillar I teach over at my Academy is that you got to start putting yourself first.
You, after all, are the king or queen of your life. If you’re still in love with a cheating ex, then by all means you have every right to go after him or her.
Just make sure you’re putting yourself first in the process and that you’re not setting yourself up for a painful repeat of the past.
It’s A Crazy Place for Relationships
If you’ve been reading my blog for some time now, then you may have been introduced to all the mindsets and relationship skills you need to succeed in this day and age. It’s much different from the mainstream advice you read in magazines and websites, which is dead wrong.
The world is just a crazy place. Technology is advancing so rapidly that it’s completely changing the way our society communicates with each other – this obviously has a huge impact on intimate relationships and our love lives.
It’s very common for men and women to end up in relationships with people who don’t really love you or feel the same way for you that you feel for them.
You date for a few months only to find out that this person that you are pretty crazy about only sees you as a friend. They could have been saying they loved you a week ago, and now they want someone else? It makes no sense.
I went through several of these relationships as I tend to date BPD women. It can take a long time to recover from a BPD relationship since they’re so emotionally charged, but these relationships can also be very rewarding.
And maybe you end up in the common position where you try to be nice to get your ex back. Yeah that doesn’t really work too well, right?
Are You Playing The Blame Game?
You see, I spent several YEARS in failed relationships with women that I thought were in love with me. And maybe they were… But the same patterns kept repeating themselves – I would get cheated on over and over again.
When I look back, several of my ex girlfriends cheated on me at some point. No shocker as I was one of those clingy, codependent guys that was very good at pushing girls away, lol.
I was hurt to say the least, cheated on and letting my body go like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. I kept ending up with women that would love me one day, and then want me gone the next. I just couldn’t figure out why this kept happening to me.
It wasn’t that I kept picking the wrong women (even though most of the women I’d get with were in a rebound relationship and ready to mingle). It’s easy to point fingers and to blame every woman I’ve been with.
But the reality is that I’m 50% of the relationship and if I wanted to improve my life and relationships, I had to take responsibility and work my ass off. And there were several parts of me that needed improvement.
It ended up taking me several toxic relationships (knives pulled on me, my windshield destroyed, emotional turmoil, STD scares, pregnancy scares, blatant lying, etc.) to realize that I had a pretty negative outlook on dating. I had no emotional control for relationships.
I didn’t really know what it meant to be a happy, fulfilled, loving partner. I only knew how to go out, meet women, get dates, sleep together and then do that over and over again and call it a “relationship”.
So I wasted a lot of time trying to be more “attractive”, learning how to talk better, mainstream dating “techniques”, learning how to “sext” and other such petty garbage that made me no better than the ferrets fornicating in the corner of their pen.
In the end, all of this stuff only made me more miserable. I was no beautiful, unique snowflake. I was struggling to survive a break up and move forward.
I Kept Getting Cheated On Because I Was LAME
Now this is just me. This was my issue. I was lame as hell. And I don’t blame my ex girlfriends from the past for cheating on me. Sure it’s a really shitty thing to do, but I was also a shitty person back in the day.
What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t offer a lot of value to the relationship. As a result, my ex girlfriends would always play hard to get and leave me instead of sticking around. It was just easier that way for them.
Fortunately, after much trial-and-error, I really feel like I’ve developed my relationship system to be so effective that at this point I’m just fine tuning little things and adapting it as technology and society develops.
What about you? How do you feel about your relationship skills? Do you feel like you’re often under-appreciated in your relationships? That your partner doesn’t really respect you like they should?
There’s usually a reason for that and while it may not be your fault, it’s something to think about. As I always say, we all have things to improve about ourselves.
Walking On Eggshells Made Her Cheat
Okay so the reason I keep talking about me is because I’m hoping you can learn something from my experiences. Stories are how we really learn, after all. Standing in front of you and giving you a lecture on relationships won’t teach you anything — anyone can do that (and that’s what the “gurus” do).
I know for me and the several hundreds of men and women I coach, walking on eggshells is a very common occurrence. Not only does it send you into a passive staight, it indirectly pushes your partner away.
It can be confusing because you’re thinking, “How can me keeping cool and calm and passive push my partner away?”
Well, the reason is that some people enjoy the chaos in their life.
This is a big realization for a lot of people because it it a mind scramble. Why would your partner enjoy chaos? Why would your ex not want a smooth, stable, calm relationship?
Many reasons, my fellow truth seeker. Perhaps your ex grew up in a chaotic family. Had a chaotic mother or father (or lack of either). Had siblings who were bullies for all of their teenage life. Got rejected constantly throughout high school. Or other worse events such as rape and abuse.
There are many, many events that have shaped the brain of your ex. After all, we are all unique individuals as I’ve said. It’s important to keep this in mind when you want your ex back.
I know for me that I kept sympathizing with my ex girlfriend’s, trying to understand the world they come from. Then I would try to fit my life into that world.
But doing this never works. It only causes your ex to push you away more and more over time. And as they push you away, you try harder and harder — thus pushing your ex away even more! Next thing you know you’re checking your phone every 5 seconds, hoping your ex will call you back.
Mainstream, Common Relationship Advice Doesn’t Work
A major problem in today’s society is that most of the relationship advice you read is either outdated, or just plain old incorrect. There are large, multi-million dollar companies that love to sell you lies and deceit because it makes their pockets fat.
For example, one of the biggest dating myths is that if you can offer or provide something “great” to a woman, she’ll like and reward you in return. Or maybe sleep with you.
This is a huge problem that guys spend their whole lives trying to perfect. They spend all this time and resources trying to get women to go places with them, hang out, etc. in hopes that she’ll think he’s worthy of a partner or whatever.
But the reason why it’s a myth is because the only type of woman that’s going to be attracted to “offers” are women that really don’t have a lot going on in her life. So unless you want a manipulative user of a partner, it’s a waste of time to believe in this myth.
No more trying to learn ‘games’ or techniques or other forms of manipulation to get people to like you because as I teach in several of my courses, it’s all about the mindsets, the attitude, the identity and habits.
In other words, it’s about unlocking your inner potential. It’s being that genuine, authentic, true individual that will ultimately get that ex back you want.
Wouldn’t it just be great to not have to worry about all these games and Tinder lines and all that? To not have to worry about ‘what to say next’ or ‘what should I do now?’
Wouldn’t you love to know the ‘secrets’ to how some people can succeed so well in relationships while most people just never get the happiness they want?
It’s really not a ‘secret’ at all. It’s just a different way of thinking, a different way of being. And I talk about all of these mindsets and habits and relationship skills in my daily newsletter and courses.
The problem is that most people are programmed to suppress their inner self from a very young age, and by the time you’re an adult, this programming is now your natural personality.
By unlocking your inner self and removing this crap programming that businesses and society feed to you daily, you’ll develop the natural, organic power to attract the people you want into your life so you can have the happiness, joy and love that you deserve. You can check out my relationship courses and coaching forum here:
The sooner you get away from these seduction forums, BS bloggers and communities, the sooner you’ll be on the path towards real relationship success. If a community is generally negative and pessimistic (such as the BPD communities), that should tell you right away how people are just bitter and angry – and not being honest.
If getting back your cheating ex is your goal, then I won’t judge you. But I do want you to be realistic and understand that it will be a difficult journey. Just don’t go chasing and pursuing as that will only make things worse.