So your goal is to build a great relationship with someone, whether that’s your current girlfriend or boyfriend, or someone completely new.
Maybe you’re recently single and you want to know what you need to do going forward so you don’t end up in a toxic relationship once again.
Either way, my advice is very straight forward for this:
Only date someone who is great and makes you want to be great.
The problem with this advice is that it’s very subjective and easy to say. It’s just words. How do you actually implement this in your dating life?
What the hell does “great” mean anyway?
You’re going to get a different answer from different people depending on their own subjective experiences with relationships.
Then you have the fact that people will SAY one thing, but then ACT a completely different way.
For example, a lot of women say they want a “good guy” but then they go and sleep with the bad boys.
But, I’m not here to discuss that. The point I’m trying to make is simply the fact that attractiveness can be very subjective.
There are, of course, several traits that are universal, but again I don’t want to touch on that right now or else this post will take you 15 minutes to read :)
Anyway, this guy was asking me the best way to get women interested in him. However, this advice is universal so apply it if you’re trying to get a boyfriend.
How To Get Yourself A Great Boyfriend or Girlfriend
How to get a woman you ask?
The easiest way is to be a celebrity of some sorts. Or someone with huge social status in a particular field. This is obviously the easiest because you don’t have to do anything and a lot of women will flock to you simply because you have high status and power.
The other way for 99% of us “normal” men is to have an abundance mindset. And by abundance, I mean you really need to enjoy being single for awhile and date multiple women. Don’t commit to any of them.
Only by doing this can you see the broad range at which women will be attracted to you.
Some women you’ll date will only be like 60% into you while others you date might be fully, 100% into you.
What this means is that you can learn all the “game” that you want, but the reality is that your level of attractiveness will vary from woman to woman. Doesn’t matter how “good” you are with women. Some women simply won’t be into you, while others will be very much into you.
The only way to find these women who really dig you is to stay single and see what’s out there. There’s no rush to commitment, which is what codependents do all the time.
By staying non-committed, you’ll be able to filter out the women who might be really into you at first, but then it tapers off after a few months.
The good news is that if after a few months you notice a woman or two falling in love with you, that’s a good sign. She’s probably a keeper because she took her time to fall for you. She was smart and avoided the honeymoon.
Like I always say, the Honeymoon Period is for amateurs. It’s for those who are inexperienced and codependent.
Eventually you’ll come across a woman who really digs you, but also has her shit together. These are the women you seriously consider dating for the long-term. You should NOT commit to the crazy, highly interested women right away because it’s just emotions at this point, and they will burn out.
This is the problem with codependency, and why I always talk about. You can save yourself years of trouble and turmoil by simply working on not fixing your codependent nature.
Codependent men (and women) find themselves in BPD relationships often because they’re both desperate for love, approval and validation.
As a result, your mindset is one of scarcity instead of abundance.
How can you ever hope to have a relationship of quality if you’re running around in a fearful state? That’s exactly what a scarcity mindset does for you.
And, that’s codependency in a nutshell.
Which is why I have an entire course on this subject called Overcoming Codependency. It’s one of those topics that should be taught in high school before kids start entering into relationships.
It would save so much grief and bitterness and pain. Plus, people would generally be happier and more confident about life.
Anyway, if my codependency course sounds like something you’re interested in, you can access the full course by checking out my Relationship Academy.
If you’re not ready to take the plunge, no big deal. Just be sure you’re reading the articles on my website on this topic, as well as the emails I send out because I talk about this often.