If you’re in a dying relationship and trying to stop a break up from happening, then you’ll want to read this article.
1) Be appreciative of the fact that you were able to have this relationship.
2) Understand that relationships fall apart when your partner loses attraction for you.
3) You must have goals and purpose that are beyond the scope of the relationship.
4) Relationships teach you a lot about yourself. They should make you and your partner better.
Relationships are worse than ever before. Couples are breaking up left and right, thanks to the hook-up culture that the feminists and dating apps that have taken the world by storm.
One of the most common questions I receive from readers is how to stop a break up from happening.
Wouldn’t that be amazing if you could wave a magic wand, shout some Harry Potter spell, and your relationship instantly fixes itself?
Such a dream…
The biggest sign that your relationship is headed for the dumps is when your partner is being distant, unresponsive, cold, etc.
Breaking up sucks, and it’s definitely one of the worst feelings in the world when you’re on the receiving end of it. So what can you do to prevent the relationship getting to this point?
That’s what I want to cover in this article. Hopefully I’ll help you change your mindsets a big and you can work on improving your relationships in record time.
Before we dive into the meat of this article, I have a free mini-guide that’s all about the #1 mistake both men and women make in relationships which cause your partner to break up with you.
You can grab this guide using the link below:
Got the guide? It’s really important because this mistake is very common and I guarantee you’re doing it to some degree.
Anyway, I’ll send it to your inbox so you can read it later. Let’s dive in.
1. Appreciate That You Were Able To Have This Relationship
While I’m a big proponent of being happy and satisfied with yourself, you can’t argue with the science.
The truth is that nobody wants to go through life alone. While you can still have a great time being single, life is better when you experience things together.
One of the major problems in society today is a much-bigger-than-realized group of men called “incels” who struggle to get any sort of positive, healthy attention from women.
As a result, they hate women and spend their days living in bitterness — all because they can’t figure out how to get laid due to various reasons.
It’s a serious issue in our society today that I won’t dive into here. Just know that if you are able to have relationships, you are living life better than others. You should appreciate this truth because there are millions of men who would love to walk in your shoes.
Healthy relationships form when you attract someone who has strong mindsets, beliefs, values, positive energy, and similar to you in various ways.
After all, you attract what you project. If you can’t be your true, genuine self with someone you love, then the relationship will eventually die.
One of the key lessons I teach when you’re in a bpd relationship is to never change who you are. The Borderline will try to change you. If you break your boundaries, the relationship is over.
On the other hand, if you generally have a negative outlook on life, you’ll struggle to attract any attention whatsoever.
You’ll start to think that people are stupid, that women hate you, that you’re ugly, etc.
And you know what? Maybe you are ugly. But I have seen some ugly guy’s date attractive women. Hitting the gym and improving your appearance to the best of your ability will always give you the chance to date someone “out of your league.”
If you’ve been negative and bitter in your relationship, this could be a big reason why your partner is turned off.
No one wants to be around someone like this. And, if it’s your partner that brings this negative energy, it’s still your responsibility to not get sucked into it.
This is why you need to gain control over your emotions and not get dragged into relationship drama.
Women don’t keep score in relationships. You could do 10,000 great things for her, but all it takes is ONE needy mistake and she’s turned off.
2. From Turned Off to Turned On
When you do things that turn your partner off, your attraction level plummets. Do this enough times and your partner will resent you.
This is what leads to cheating.
A lot of men get mad and make the excuse that their girlfriend is crazy. But the reality is the woman lost interest and left.
Men, due to their ego, will rationalize and blame the woman for being crazy.
But, a happy woman who is highly attracted to her partner never cheats or acts crazy (even if she has BPD).
She might test him here and there, but that’s just the nature of women. Passing tests is easy once you understand why and how they work (which is what I teach in my podcasts and courses).
If you fail these tests that come your way, you turn your partner off. The legs shut. She won’t want to sleep with you.
Eventually, after failing enough of these tests, she’s going to start seeking out other (better) men who pass her tests.
When a man is able to see through her tests and pass them with flying colors, she gets turned on (often times instantly).
If you’re trying to get an ex back, this is when you got to take some time to analyze all the times in the relationship that you failed the tests.
Here’s a hint: if you argued with your girlfriend, you failed many tests. This is because men who understand and attract women (“alpha” males) don’t argue with them.
You need to be completely honest with yourself and think about what you have been doing that may have turned off your partner. If it seems like this break up just “came out of the blue”, then your ego is clouding your judgement.
I’ve been coaching men and women for years. There is always a reason the relationship reached a breaking point. People often come to me when it’s too late.
Quit thinking that your partner is playing hard to get. This is just a cover-up for the truth that your partner isn’t interested in you at the moment.
The best thing you can do to stop turning your partner off further is to give the relationship some space.
The law of attraction is real. You need to let your partner come to you on their own time. Don’t force the relationship.
3. Have Goals and A Purpose Beyond The Relationship
Most people these days don’t live a purpose-driven life. They have no goals or purpose. They go to work and come home.
People who are codependent struggle to find passions and goals outside of their relationship.
As a result, keeping the relationship alive becomes the only important thing in your life.
While healthy relationships make life better for everyone, you will not have a happy relationship if you don’t have personal goals and passion projects.
In fact, a big part of your overall attractiveness will come from your own personal hobbies, goals, passion projects and so on — things that have nothing to do with the relationship.
Women naturally want to be with a man that lives in his own world. He’s driven and living out his purpose.
This is struggling artists are often able to snag popular, attractive girlfriends. You see this happen often on social media.
I always recommend that people explore the arts and cultures of the world. Get knowledgeable about fashion, style, taste, health, business, music, traveling, food, music, books, etc.
By opening up your mind and expanding your horizons, you will find purpose in something.
Even if your passion is to develop video games, you can still date amazing women. One of my good girl friends, who is extremely attractive, is dating a successful game designer.
You can still be a nerd and get a hot girlfriend. Pursue your passion, no matter what it is.
You’ll know you’re truly passionate about it when you pursue it at the same speed, whether you’re single or in a relationship.
Most of the nice guys in society who struggle with the ladies will drop everything at any given moment to see their girlfriend.
This mentality is terrible, and you better believe it turns your girl off. Nice guys truly do finish last due to this reason.
4. Relationships Will Make or Break You
Relationships are a part of life. They will make or break you. You’ll learn more about yourself from a relationship than anything else.
Therefore, it’s important to understand that relationships are sometimes meant to end. They serve their purpose and you move on.
If your relationship isn’t making both you and your partner a better person, then perhaps it’s best you two go your separate ways.
Relationships are a team. You two should be growing and becoming better versions of yourselves.
If you’re not, then the relationship needs to end. You shouldn’t try to continue something that isn’t making both of you better.
Since you have plenty of time for yourself now that you’re single, spend time improving your self and your world.
This improvement in your attitude is exactly what will turn people ON instead of turning people off. How can you turn people off when you’re pumped up about yourself all the time?
This is how you escape depression. It’s hard to be depressed when you’re excited about life and the goals you’re pursuing.
You don’t want to live a life where you’re old, lonely, and full of regrets. I know I don’t. So what I did for myself is I went to work. I started reading a lot of books that talked about mindsets and people that had these great mindsets.
I found myself a lot of inspirational people that I could look up to and model my life off of. To develop similar mindsets and beliefs.
Always be expanding your mind. This is how you grow and open up which makes you incredibly attractive. Who wouldn’t want to date someone that is so genuine, honest and full of opinions?
Don’t be afraid to be opinionated. I know that the Left-wing tends to attack people with different opinions these days, but don’t be afraid of them.
The Bottom Line To Stopping A Break Up
Whether you can actually stop your break up or not depends how turned off your partner is. You need to spend some time to think deeply a bit and see if you completely turned that dimmer switch off.
If that dimmer switch is still on, then you still have a shot at recovering your relationship. However, understand that it can take time and breaking up still might be the best action for now.
Time heals wounds, as they say. Give the relationship some much-needed space.
The good news is that breaking up isn’t the end of the world.
You need to use this time wisely when you’re single. It’s during this time where you need to get down to business and go to work on yourself.
Turning your partner on can take some time because turn offs are much more powerful in a negative way.
If you want to improve yourself and learn how to develop the skills necessary to turn your partner on, then check out my coaching podcasts right here:
You’ll learn the mindsets and the techniques that thousands of my clients have been using over the years.