People often ask me what I believe to be the difference between a woman of quality and an average (or below average) one.
The difference is this:
A woman of high quality knows her worth. She won’t wait around for a guy to get his shit together. She’ll be out before you know it, moving forward with her life.
This is truly what separates the great women from the rest. These women are rare of course, but they are out there. They will give you this vibe that says, “You better not waste my time, buddy!”
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I had a conversation with one of my close friends who struggles to break up with her deadbeat loser boyfriend. He assaulted her earlier this week, and yet she got extremely defensive when I asked her why she struggles to leave.
It’s situations like this that make me write these articles. The information you’ll read today is what I tried sharing with her — but she is stubborn and won’t listen to me.
I hope you won’t make that same mistake. A high-quality woman won’t waste her time with a deadbeat. She knows her worth. She knows she deserves better and won’t hesitate to leave.
I wish this friend of mine who I care for deeply had these qualities.
Also, I understand that it can be difficult and scary to leave a crazy, rage-fueled boyfriend. You have to be slick and smart about it. You need to tell people about it even if that thought scares you.
The sooner you exit, the better. Don’t be feared into submission. Don’t let these assholes has that power over you. And, don’t be afraid to call the police.
A High-Quality Woman Accepts Her Appearance
I’ve met some amazing women over the years who aren’t that great looking. They’re average at best.
But, because of their mindsets and high self-esteem, they become incredibly attractive the more you get to know them.
It’s crazy how this works: when her personality shines through, she becomes much more physically attractive (this can happen for men as well).
One of the best ways to elevate your life is to learn acceptance. You might not be as hot as those models you see all over Instagram, but don’t let that get you down.
This is one of the reasons why I’m against social media. It’s extremely easy to find yourself chasing perfection when you’re constantly seeing better looking people on your feed.
You must learn that perfection doesn’t exist. This is the first step towards becoming a high-quality woman. And, high-quality men are attracted to women who understand this.
When your personality shines, you become much more attractive.
A relationship is much more than just being pretty. You must be able to have fun, joke around, have depth, and enjoy your time with your significant other.
If you’re not enjoying your time, you shouldn’t be in the relationship. A high-quality woman knows this and won’t hesitate to leave her boyfriend.
A High-Quality Woman Is A Woman of Depth
In my opinion, this is my favorite quality of a woman. I love talking to a woman who knows a lot about society, cultures, books, traveling, food, fashion, entrepreneurship, health, music and so on.
This is a huge quality that will separate you from the rest of the women out there.
Most people are pretty basic and boring. That’s just the reality. Most people are lazy and don’t spend their free time developing their level of depth.
When you have a lot of depth and knowledge about various things, you’ll connect hard and fast to a man who’s on your level. But, don’t expect to find a man like this right away. As they say, it can be lonely at the top.
This is why I often talk about how people of quality aren’t afraid of being alone. In fact, they embrace it and learn to love themselves regardless.
I could have made this truth it’s own sub-section because it’s very important. You won’t find a high-quality individual who doesn’t enjoy their alone time and independence.
I often talk about how codependency is bad for relationships. This is because a codependent woman doesn’t like being alone. As a result, she ends up smothering her man too much and he leaves her.
As you develop your depth, you’ll become a more independent woman. You’ll start to enjoy your alone time. You won’t waste your time with men who don’t really care about your personality.
Instead, the men who have depth will be interested in you. However, filtering these great men from the rest is another challenge of its own :)
A High-Quality Woman Can’t Be Manipulated
One of the reasons my friend struggles to leave her abusive boyfriend is due to the fact that she is easily manipulated by his sweet words and reassurance that he’ll change.
Women of quality have learned that words are a bunch of hot air. They don’t hold much weight at all.
Instead, high-quality women believe that actions speak much louder than words. It doesn’t matter what you say if your actions don’t back it up.
This is why high-quality women can’t be manipulated. They know that a man who is charming and great with words can’t be trusted. He needs to earn her trust through his actions.
So, if you find yourself attracted to men who are charming your socks off with their words, you need to take a step back and ask yourself this important question:
Do his words match his actions? If not, then it’s probably a good idea to leave your boyfriend. He’ll continue to manipulate and hurt you because he knows he can sweet talk his way back into your life.
The more you allow him back in, the more abusive he’ll become. He’ll see how far he can go. Eventually he will physically assault you because you continue to forgive his shitty behavior.
The sign of a sociopath is a man who can easily manipulate you and charm you with his words. Therefore, judge a man by his actions. Not his words.
You shouldn’t hesitate to dump a charming man at the first sign of rage or emotional abuse. It will only escalate if you stick around.
A High-Quality Woman Is Forward-Moving
Another great quality for a woman (and men) to have is being a forward-moving person.
This quality comes from the core value of abundance. You want to develop an abundance mindset instead of a mindset of scarcity.
Scarcity leads to neediness, which is a result of being codependent. And, there’s nothing more unattractive than neediness.
You might believe that you want your partner to be more attentive. But, this is different than being needy. You can still be attentive and affectionate without being needy.
When you believe in abundance, you will naturally become a more independent woman. You will value your alone time because you are doing things that improve the quality of your life.
I love dating women who have their own business because it she knows how valuable it is to be independent. She can think for herself, take initiative, make her own decisions, and so on.
She doesn’t have time to babysit her lazy boyfriend because she’s got too much going on in her own life.
If her boyfriend is being a douche canoe, she won’t hesitate to leave him because she’s got better things to do. She knows that there are better men out there because she believes in abundance.
A High-Quality Woman Isn’t A Babysitter
This requires the belief that your partner can take care of themselves. Deep down, it means you trust your partner.
If you find yourself always doing his laundry, or washing his dishes, or cleaning his house, you’re only making the situation worse for both you and him.
How can you spend time on yourself when you’re too busy doing all his chores for him? You’re not his mother. He may very well be a man-child, but why are you dating a child in a man’s body?
If your man can’t take care of himself and do these basic chores, then you’re not dating a man of quality.
I understand that you’re just trying to be a “good girlfriend.” But, a man of quality won’t want you doing all these different things for him. Believe me on this.
People of quality like to take care of themselves. They aren’t dating you so you can do his laundry and clean his house.
He’s dating you because you stimulate his mind. He’s a man of depth who wants to hear your beliefs, your opinions, your independent attitude, and so on.
This is how you grow in a relationship. When two people can have in-depth conversations and share ideas even if you disagree with each other, you develop more and more chemistry. It will only grow as the relationship moves forward.
I’ve dated women who most people thought were “crazy.” But, I never had a single fight with women like this because we both had so much depth.
It can be incredibly frustrating to have a boyfriend who isn’t able to interact with you on an in-depth level. It can cause some women to seem “crazy” at times, even though they’re just frustrated. The boyfriend will accuse her of being “crazy” to manipulate her into submission.
Fuck these types of men. They are losers. The only types of relationships they can have is with easily-manipulated women who will allow abuse.
Don’t be like that. It’s a very low-quality way of living.
In Conclusion
There are plenty of more qualities I could discuss. But, these are easily the most important ones because they come from within. You must develop these over time.
If you’re currently single, then embrace it. Learn to enjoy being alone. This is when you can develop yourself and build your depth.
As a result, you’ll want more for yourself. You’ll feel more confident. Your self-worth will rise which will make you a more attractive individual.
– Rick
Sharleen says
Thank you!
I needed to read this, to devour this, to savor this and to swallow it whole.
I’ve recently been dumped by my fiance of two years. He literally dropped me off in my driveway after we left his daughter’s 18th birthday dinner. No hug, no kiss, no farewell. He gave me some bullshit story of him needing me to stay away from him for a week while he had his home internet and security investigated. Told me our lives were in danger. Any contact could have terrible consequences. He even suggested I find a male friend to go out with and pretend I was in a relationship with him.
A week later he texted me and ended our engagement and the relationship.
Oh…forgot to mention that I paid for the dinner and the $200 necklace for his daughter that night. She was worth the $400 evening. I could kick myself for paying the dinner bill, however.
This man was a lot like all you describe. I feel like an idiot.
I have run a successful business for over 20 years. I am a single parent, own my home, my vehicle and my motorcycle. I’m raising 2 children…one is 2nd year college and the other graduates high school next year.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I’m just 6 weeks into my healing process. I’m in therapy. Our couples counselor is seeing me individually to help me overcome this and I’m also seeing a psychiatrist to help with my recently diagnosed bipolar2 disorder.
This man put me through so much. He went through call logs, emails, text messages. Facebook posts and messages, you name it…he checked it.
He went through contact lists, called anyone he had suspicions of (including current and previous clients…even elderly neighbors). He was absolutely convinced I am a liar and a cheater. I am none of those.
I am a dedicated woman and never as much as blinked at another. I truly love this man.
Even through all the interrogation he put me through… and believe me, it could be brutal…(sometimes he would keep me up all hours of the night and I’d get no sleep and have to work a full 10 hour day)…I stayed.
Why?
And now, he is gone.
He’s out riding about town, hitting the bars, posting pics of his smiling face with women sitting with him or on his bike.
Oh how easy for him to move on along. Makes me think I was only kept around as long as I was as a holdover.
I should be picking myself up. Right?
But I’m depressed and grieving. I’m not eating, not sleeping, I go nowhere but to buy groceries or gas. I’m a mess!
I read and read as much self help as I can grab. I feel like I am making baby STEPS some days, others I want to never leave my bed.
I’m better than this!! I know I am!!! I’m a Marine Corps veteran and this is nothing compared to the shit I’ve been through in there and in my lifetime.
I need to say, Fuck That Man! and pull my bootstraps up and show myself I Got This!!
Thank you for what you do.
A good slap in the face helps more than you know!!
Rick says
He’s a classic sociopath. I just wrote an article about this type of man so check it out and let me know what you think!