Do you want to know why your girlfriend ran back to her ex boyfriend? Do you want her back? Then you want to read this article.
If you’re reading this article chances are you want your girlfriend back.
Why else would you be here?
She ran to her ex boyfriend, possibly ghosted you, and now you’re feeling like crap due to the feelings of rejection.
I can relate. I’ve had multiple women leave me for an ex. It’s one of the most painful experiences a man can go through.
A big contributing factor to starting this blog years ago was due to rejection from a BPD girlfriend I had at the time.
One of the big reasons that I lost this girl was due to my high levels of neediness and codependency (they’re basically the same thing).
Without a doubt, neediness is the number 1 attraction killer. When you get needy, the relationship dies.
You are no longer attractive. The girl loses practically all her “feels” for you and starts thinking about how she felt with other guys.
Including her ex boyfriend.
Here’s a question I got from a reader of my free email coaching newsletter.
“I’ve been seeing a girl now for nearly 2 months. We have been getting on really well and she has showed an attraction to me. She always texts me back real quick, was always first to write to me everyday, sex we had was amazing. I just thought we were both very happy.
Roughly 2 weeks ago she says she had a doctors appointment giving her a bit of bad news. About a week after with her being totally off with me, now she wants space. She says she just wants to be friends.
I feel pretty gutted to be honest. What do i need to do? Shes going through a break up with her boyfriend a few weeks back, and then her bad news from the doctors appointment.
Is this the reason for her needing space? I need help. I don’t want to lose this one.”
You were the rebound. When you’re the rebound, you have to be very careful. Your game needs to be practically PERFECT.
If you make any mistakes during the rebound period, you will lose the girl.
The rebound period can last anywhere from a one night stand to several months. It depends entirely on how long the girl was with her ex boyfriend.
The longer a girl was with the ex, the longer the rebound period may be.
This is why it’s incredibly important to FOLLOW what I teach and NEVER be needy.
Think of my Coaching Podcasts as the script you must adhere to.
Apply what I teach in these podcasts for 90 days and see how much your relationships improve.
Here’s my mentality:
When I meet a single, attractive girl, I ASSUME that she is on the rebound.
Because pretty girls are never single — there’s usually an ex in the picture. There are also other guys who text her daily wanting to take her out and hook up.
And, with the explosion of “sugar daddy dating” there are men willing to pay THOUSANDS to have dinner with her (and hopefully hook up).
As a result, it’s rare for an attractive girl to truly commit to you. There’s always going to be some guy in her life.
And if she’s struggling with money, the temptation to sleep with a dude for a couple thousand bucks will always be in her mind.
Your goal as a new guy is to NOT mess up the dates so that you can eventually become number 1 in her eyes.
If you screw up the dates and make mistakes, her interest for you will fall and the other guys will move up on her prospect list, including her ex boyfriend.
By assuming that she’s on the rebound, you force yourself to be disciplined. There’s no room for errors.
Don’t assume that she’s going to be your girlfriend until she’s actually confessing her love for you (this could take several months).
NEVER assume that the girl will commit to you. I don’t care if she’s slept with you a dozen times and confessed her love for you.
It’s never “in the bag” no matter what she says or does.
You need to learn how to get her to commit to you and toss all the other guys aside.
How do you do that?
Well, you start by killing your neediness.
Women will date the guy who’s least needy. That’s just how they operate.
I highly recommend you listen to podcast episode 37. It’s all about getting your neediness under control so that you remain attractive for the long haul.
Your Negative Vibes Are Killing Your Relationships
The biggest problem right now in our society, by far, is how polarized it’s become.
Polarization leads to irrational hatred and anger.
Anger and hatred obviously leads to negative thoughts and behaviors on a daily, consistent basis.
For the past couple of years now, the media has been nothing but negative. This is all on purpose, of course. It’s designed that way to make you a negative person.
If you’re the type of person who watches/reads the news on a daily basis, I highly encourage you to end this terrible habit.
You can check the news once a week, max. That’s all I’ll give you on this.
Therefore, if you want to be a happier, more positive person in life, start by removing the news out of your life.
No more New York Times, no more CNN or NBC or John Oliver or politics on Reddit or whatever you subscribe to.
I can’t stress how important this is. I live in a liberal city and it’s astonishing at how sad and depressed people CHOOSE to be up here.
That’s right: your unhappiness is a choice you’ve both consciously AND subconsciously made.
As a result, your relationships have no choice but to be toxic. Negativity breed toxicity. This is why relationships are worse today than they’ve ever been before.
It’s why people who get angry and upset over Trump are the unhappiest people out there.
Personally, I don’t give a crap whether you like him or not.
But, if you’re letting the negativity of the media influence your daily mental state, your life is going to suffer.
This is a simple fact.
By allowing some anchor on TV (who’s being paid millions by the way and doesn’t really care), you are showing how weak and fragile you truly are.
Just think about it for a minute:
The anchor on TV doesn’t truly have any real life problems unlike the audience that watches him.
He/she is getting paid MILLIONS of dollars to pretend to be angry and upset about politics.
He’s being PAID to make you upset and angry.
It’s interesting when you realize this fact, right?
After the anchor is done with all the negative news, he gets into his lambo and drives to one of his several houses where he somehow finds a way to sleep at night knowing that he’s blatantly influencing millions of people to believe his horse shit.
There’s a special place in hell for people like this.
Why do I tell you all this?
Because I’m all about helping you change your mindsets for a better life. It’s what helps your relationships.
If you’re living a negative life due to the current politics of society, then your life will suffer from all this brainwashing.
And make no doubt about it: you’ve been brainwashed if the very thought of TRUMP makes you cry inside.
You’re showing how weak and sensitive your mindsets are. It’s no wonder that your BPD relationship is failing, right?
Of course your ex loses interest in you, leaves you for someone more positive and open-minded.
On the day of the election, I laughed at all these images of people crying because Trump won. That’s how fragile and weak these people are.
Imagine being so mentally weak and fragile that you CRY over the thought of Trump being president.
If you’re crying over something so completely out of your power, imagine how much a struggle an intimate relationship will be for you.
It’s no wonder that relationships are more toxic and negative than ever before, even though the country is doing better than ever.
Therefore, it’s time you quit being such a negative, fragile individual. Get away from the media for a month or so and tell me how you feel afterwards.
I guarantee you’ll feel 10 times better in 4 weeks if you listen to my advice.
You want to feel empowered?
Start by OWNING your life.
Of course, all of these people sad and depressed about politics suffer from neediness at their core.
See, not only does neediness affect relationships, but it also affects your LIFE.
You’re so needy for someone other than Trump as president that it has turned you into a sad, depressed, negative person.
Your partner loses all attraction for you due to your negativity.
I know a girl who dumped her liberal boyfriend for a Trump guy. She absolutely hates Trump, but this guy is simply positive and constantly giving off good vibes. He’s not influenced by the media, he does his own thing and he makes her a better person.
So of course she loves him (and she’s starting to like Trump more and more considering that she no longer pays attention to the negative media).
Anyway, I don’t give a crap who you voted for.
But, I do care about all this negativity that I’m surrounded by on a daily basis. It’s annoying, it’s irrational and it makes the world a worse place.
So, please remove ALL sources of negativity from your life. Stop following people on social media, turn off the negative liberal news, put down the newspapers and magazines.
Give yourself several weeks of zero negativity and watch how quickly your negativity evaporates.
Not only will your life improve, but your relationships will improve as well.
How Neediness Makes You Negative and Angry At The World
The theme of this article is all about the dangers of being a needy person. I’m sure you’ve picked this up by now.
And, perhaps you were triggered by all my words above about Trump and how his haters are the most negative people on the planet (which is true).
The fact of the matter is that I write in an obnoxious way at times in order to test your level of emotional control.
This is just like women. They test men to see how in control of their emotions he truly is. She wants to see how he’ll react to her tests.
If you respond in the correct way, you pass the test and she falls more in love with you.
However, if you fail the test like 99% of men do, her feelings for you evaporate quickly.
Thus is the way with women these days.
A lot of these tests come from a place of insecurity.
The more insecure a girl is, the more she’s going to test. And, much of these tests are retarded in nature.
Anyway, the key is to pass these tests. How do you do that you ask?
I’d love to tell you, but the reality is that every girl will test in her own unique, usually stupid, ways.
The best thing you can do is fix your neediness. That’s a huge part of passing tests. It’s why I talk about neediness all the time.
Neediness is the root of most relationship problems.
When you fix your needy behavior, you fix 99% of the problems in a relationship.
Testing has it’s place. Like I was saying earlier, I test as well.
And yes, I do get a lot of hate mail from my writings which means I’m hitting a sensitive spot. Check out this lovely email I recently got:
“You are the most stupid man I’ve ever read about. I’m a woman reading your stuff. I think you are wrong about women and it is not a weakness to be upset about Trump as the President. That’s the sign of intelligence. No, I wouldn’t dare to date anyone like Trump nor would I want to date you either. I’m an alpha woman and I don’t like Trump. I prefer a different type of asshole, the one with intelligence and confidence without the need to be arrogant in such an obvious way. Try that, buddy.”
This gave me quite the chuckle which is why I’m sharing it with the world (I love entertaining my readers).
The very fact that this lady claims to be an “alpha woman” means she is definitely NOT an alpha woman.
It’s “intelligent” to believe that Trump is trying to be a dictator. These losers really believe that.
However, the fact is that Trump is probably the worst “dictator” in modern times, considering that he supports the second amendment and wants an armed citizenship.
It’s kind of hard to be a dictator when you don’t take the guns unlike all other successful dictators throughout history.
She goes on to make a claim about dating “assholes” who don’t really fit the asshole description at all.
How is being smart, confident and humble representative of an asshole? I’ve never met an asshole who had these qualities.
I love talking about Trump from time to time because it triggers many readers. It gives me entertaining hate mail which I can share with you and give us all a chuckle.
Some readers get upset because they claim it that political topics have nothing to do with relationships.
I beg to differ.
As I stated yesterday, if you get upset and triggered over Trump, then you definitely get angry and upset in your relationships.
This is because you lack emotional control. You’re easily influenced by the words of others (a tweet by Trump probably triggers you).
On the other hand, if you’re a strong, INDEPENDENT individual, then you’re not affected by all this stuff.
All those tests and games and whatnot won’t affect you. You’re too busy living your own life. It doesn’t matter who’s president because they have no control over YOU.
You live in the present moment and enjoy life day by day. This is key.
You’re positive and optimistic about life, instead of negative and angry about things out of your control.
This is key to healthy, fulfilling relationships. You will NEVER experience great relationships if you’re so easily triggered and upset by others.
Why do you think all of my coaching podcasts are really about breaking away from codependency and developing mindsets that make you attractive?
Because attractiveness starts with your belief system.
It starts with YOU changing yourself from the inside.
Removing your neediness and codependent behaviors is the most important task you’ll ever do for yourself.
Once you set out on this journey, your relationships can ONLY get better.
Codependents (aka needy people) react to the world.
But, the world reacts to those who are Independent.
This is the major difference you’ll find in relationships.
For example: the codependent-type is always waiting for the next call/text, wondering where they stand in the relationship, wishing things were better, wanting more love/affection, etc.
Basically, needy as hell.
On the other hand, the independent person is purpose-driven. They are living life their own way by their own rules. Doesn’t matter if they’re single or taken, they don’t stray from their path. They aren’t at the beck and call of anyone. They call/text when they want, at random times. They are mysterious and unpredictable. Actually intelligent. Self-thinking. High level of awareness. The opposite of needy.
And so on and so forth.
Major differences between these two types of people.
My coaching podcasts and courses are designed to help you become this independent, forward-thinking type of individual.
Only through this change in mentality will you have any chance of improving your love life.
Whether man or woman, it’s this type of individual that has the healthiest, most fulfilling relationships.