One of the more common questions I receive from readers is if I can help them get their girlfriend back. And the kicker is that they already have a new boyfriend!
These types of questions I often find myself shaking my head because it’s just one of those situations where the mindsets are soooo off. So I go to work helping with this as much as I can.
And of course, I’ve hooked up with my ex girlfriend’s before and so have many other men. But how do we do this? And why are our mindsets making things worse?
Before we get into the meat of this guide, I’ve got a free report that will benefit you if you’re in a situation with an ex. Check it out:
Like the report says, it’s all about the #1 error that people make which drives their partner away (often into the arms of someone else).
What’s this error you ask? It’s allowing poor behavior. So grab the free report as I go in-depth about this. Thank me later.
Getting an ex back isn’t really the best mindset to have because thinking about it really doesn’t do you any good. You need to be focused on what matters which is yourself. We’ll go into detail in this guide.
Despite what you might read on other products, websites and blogs, there’s really not much you can say or do over a text message or a phone call that’s going to magically make your ex want you back.
Sucks doesn’t it? With all the bull crap ebooks online, you’d think it was easy!
Well, I’m all about teaching the truth. That’s how I roll. And if you follow my training, you’ll have the most realistic chance of getting back your ex.
But like I said above, you got to start from within. We need to dive deep into the psychology of relationships and yourself so that you can learn how to attract not only your ex back, but people in general.
Once you get this right, getting an ex back becomes 1000 times easier as I and many of the men and women who have gone through my training have experienced.
Rick… Why The F*** Did She Leave In The First Place??
I want to briefly talk about attraction here and how it works. I won’t spend too much time because there are a million blogs online dedicated to attraction and ‘getting girls’.
First of all, attraction is hard-wired into both men and women.
For us men, it’s very simple – we like women that appear beautiful to us. Now of course us men have different tastes and all, but we’re all wired to respond to beauty. It’s the one thing that captivates us the most, especially in the beginning (and first impressions are extremely important).
If she happens to be fashionable, independent and making her own money, then by golly she is the complete package.
But initial attraction for men starts at her appearance.
For women, guess what?
It’s the same damn thing.
It’s 2016 and women are JUST as visual as us men are. It wasn’t always like this, but it definitely is now. I can’t stress how important it is that you take your physicality seriously.
If you’re a member of my Relationship Academy, then you know all about my “Relationship Trifecta” which is your physicality, your mentality, and your spirituality.
Get these 3 things in good working order and you’ll never struggle in relationships.
I’ve dated lots of women and the people I associate with are all quality individuals that have a lot of relationship experience. And believe me, looks matter. They make your life A LOT easier. Shedding 5-10 pounds of fat can make a huge difference, as will adding 5-10 pounds of muscle if you’re underweight.
So guys — take your physical appearance seriously. I cannot stress this enough. 2016 is an extremely visual society. Women are just as serious as you about looks. Believe me on this!
Basically every dating blog and website you come across likes to tell you that looks don’t matter. This is because they want you to buy their programs. Straight up lying. They tell you that you can get an amazing woman even if you’re lazy and not in good shape.
Sorry to bust your bubble, but this is simply not true for 99.9% of the attractive women you come across. I don’t care how good you are with your words, how awesome your Tinder game is, and so on — you WILL NOT get 99% of the attractive women out there if you’re not taking care of your self.
And guess what? Women will LEAVE you for other, more attractive men if you start to let yourself go in a relationship. This is much more common now in 2016.
What Else Do Women Like?
Now that you know the importance of physicality, something that all women of quality agree with is that they want a man who also understand them, who knows how women work, who can blast through the typical woman tests and all.
I believe that after your appearance, the number 1 thing that women are most attracted to is your level of self-respect.
Basically, your overall attitude, your energy, the ‘presence’ you give off all comes from your self-respect level. Women become very curious about men with high self-respect before the man even opens his mouth. It’s an aura these women are just drawn to.
The guys that understand this tend to be the guys who come off as more ‘alpha’ in nature, with that attitude and vibe that draw women in. Add this attitude with your good looks and it’s game over within minutes.
In my Relationship Academy, I talk about the importance of putting your self first. This is how you develop your self-respect. Many men and women have lost sense of their self-worth due to the emotional nature of your relationship.
If this is you, you need to focus on getting back to your true nature. If you’ve been in a Borderline relationship, you’ve probably been walking on eggshells and have completely lost sense of your self.
Much of my BPD Relationship Blueprint is about developing this self-respect. It’s about finding your voice, learning how to be your true, genuine self which can save relationships and get your ex back.
I was just reading an interview with ASAP Rocky and he truly believes himself to be a handsome man. He says he looks in the mirror a lot because he likes to check himself out. He says ‘I’m a handsome man.’
Yeah, it sounds funny and narcissistic, but he’s actually a very humble guy. He just happens to like to look at himself. He truly finds himself attractive which is a great place to be in mentally. And he takes his appearance very seriously. There are millions of women who find him sexy as hell.
Do you find yourself sexy? This is a question you need to ask yourself. If the answer is no, then you got work to do.
When it comes to your physicality, you will feel good when you feel that you look good. The more positive you can get yourself, the more desirable you’ll be as a human.
And this means your ex will find you highly attractive again. Many of my clients have their exes begging for them back after a month or two of my training.
Most Relationships Die a Slow Death
Because I’ve been in the game for so long, I know that somewhere along the road, her commitment for you died a slow death – assuming she was even really committed at all.
You may have started out as this awesome, fun, out-going guy, but after some time it turns out that you really weren’t all that she wanted. And soon enough she broke up with you.
A lot of people think love and sex is ‘on tap’ in a relationship because you two are ‘together’. But the truth is really the opposite – if you don’t work at being more and more attractive as the relationship continues, your partner will become less and less committed to you.
For me, when I get into a relationship I see this as just the beginning. This is when I really work hard on keeping my attractiveness at a high level. I work harder on myself, I push myself to new levels.
I do all this when I’m single as well so it just carries over into the relationship. But the key here is your attractiveness. If you lose that, your girl is going to find another guy that has more attractiveness than you.
Self-respect plays the biggest role in all of this because a woman can tell how much you care about yourself simply based on how you look, both physically and psychologically.
Now I’m not saying you need to look like Brat Pitt in order to date quality, attractive women, but people that respect themselves definitely take care of their look and their health. They also are fashionable.
And psychologically is what I mentioned above about liking yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the more confidence and positive energy you give off. And women are drawn to this like I said.
All of those things are extremely important when it comes to attraction. You must constantly work hard to keep yourself attractive until the day you die.
What happens in most relationships, especially when people get married, is that they have children and just lose sense of who they are individually. They stop worrying about being attractive because the kids are the focus.
But this just doesn’t keep marriages together. Divorce rates are growing higher every year even when there are multiple kids involved. So it’s really a serious issue in my opinion because these things can be prevented.
As a man of self-respect, the women you date will naturally be working hard to keep your attraction all the time – as long as you keep your attractiveness high.
Time For You To Stop Being A Doormat.
My entire training philosophy is based on the power of these mindsets because I know how effective they can be for developing long-lasting relationships.
When I developed my Overcoming Codependency course, I wanted to tackle the problem of being a doormat head on. Many men and women become a doormat without even knowing it.
You lose a sense of yourself over time. You give up your strength. You are easily manipulated and bullshitted. You lose respect for yourself, and as a result your partner loses respect for you as well. It’s a rough circle.
The more you respect yourself, the more you know yourself. And when you know yourself, you know where you’re going, what you want, what you don’t want, what’s best for you, etc
This is what women want in a man. They want this type of guy that just has his inner-core figured out for the most part. He’s constantly on this journey of improvement and she wants to go along for the ride.
She knows he isn’t perfect, but he isn’t afraid to be imperfect. This is key.
The good news is that these are all things you can teach yourself. I want you to understand that nobody was born with this innate ability to be good with women. That’s just not how it works.
Every skill that you see in somebody is something they learned and got really good at. So if you want to improve your dating life, you can learn all these skills to do so.
And no, this doesn’t mean you should go learning PUA stuff. Instead, you need to learn what’s most important: developing your level of self-respect. This is number 1 and it’s something that takes some time.
Believe me that when you’ve got this developed to a high-level, you don’t have to worry about what lines to say or routines or what to text. None of that crap will matter because women already respect you. No need to be witty or whatever.
Women just don’t like pushovers. It shows women that you’re just this comfortable guy that doesn’t like trying new things and getting uncomfortable. It tells women on a deeper level that you’re a man full of fear.
One of the best lessons you can learn as a man is that what you feel, your girl will feel. Obviously it doesn’t apply all the time, but something I do very well is that when a girl becomes irrational and ‘crazy’, I just become suuuperrrr relaxed.
I become sooo relaxed that I end up looking like I’m enjoying all this craziness. I explain my attitude in my Saving Her Tsunami guide, but basically it’s that I’m so relaxed and just amused that the woman calms down pretty damn fast.
I discovered this early on in my BPD relationships and I really think it’s what helped me do so well with rarely any fights. I’m not being a pushover, but I’m also not pushing her to the brink of a rage. Often times I would just leave and she would be begging me to come back soon right after.
This is all stuff I figured out for myself early on. Must have been 5 years ago now at this point. But yeah, it’s what really helped me do well in these irrational relationships.
Nowadays I don’t even have to leave. I just get really amused, I actually find irrational behavior quite hilarious at times and the girl can’t stay angry when I’m chillin on the couch completely relaxed and amused by everything going on around me.
The First Steps To Getting An Ex Back
I’ve outlined above how you can get an ex back. I’ve done it and many of my clients have done it.
I think it’s really important that you separate fact from fiction. Nearly all the books and blogs out there about getting an ex back are trying to sell you something.
I don’t sell any ‘ex back’ products because getting an ex back is a process that goes beyond silly ebooks.
This is why my training revolves around teaching you to become a desirable individual. When you got all of these things in order, getting an ex back becomes 100 times easier.
But it’s still not guaranteed. After all, if your ex doesn’t even glance your way, there’s nothing you can do. No amount of books or lines or ‘game’ will get an ex to desire you when they’ve disappeared.
This is just the reality. The truth. If you can accept this and realize that you should improve yourself for the sake of just becoming an awesome, attractive individual, then I encourage you to stick around and join my community. My new, free report and you’ll get off to a great start: