Either you want to date a crazy girl, or you’re already in a relationship with a wild, emotional girl that can be amazing at times.
Well, I don’t blame you. In fact, the truth is that the best women you can date are the women who are hard to get. They’re emotional, they’re wild, they appear to be crazy to most men.
And that’s great news for you because it you can learn how to date these crazy women, you’re going to have an amazing life full of love, passion and sexy times.
First things first: I think everybody can be crazy as all hell at times. I know I’ve had my crazy moments and I’m sure you have as well.
So I just want all my female readers to know that I’m not singling you out here. We’re all a little crazy and I hope after reading through this article, you’ll like my position in all of this.
To me, I don’t really find anything too crazy anymore. I have enough experience that if I’m to call someone crazy, they have to do something insanely out of the ordinary…
But before we dive into the goodies here, I want you to grab my free mini-guide which is all about the #1 mistake guys make in relationships that causes their girl to go crazy and dump you.
Got the guide? Good. It’s really important stuff because if you’re having trouble keeping women calm and loving towards you, then I guarantee you’re making this mistake.
Are Women Actually Crazy and Emotional?
So I think the real question you must ask yourself is if this person is actually crazy, or if you’re just experiencing something that’s unusual to you? Because what may seem crazy to you may make perfect sense to others…
I’ve dated women that I knew I shouldn’t date due to her being in a position where she wasn’t ready. And this brought out all the craziness I knew I should avoid.
Yet there I was going after these women. But sometimes we just really want these relationships to work out. So we keep on trying.
This is just what a lot of us men do. We’re men, we feel strong. We believe that we can control these relationships or that we can help our girl be less crazy. Usually both.
There definitely are some women that tend to be a lot more emotional and high maintenance than others. These are the women that guys label as crazy. But there are men that can be just as crazy as these women.
One of my core relationship mindsets is that you can learn to attract women naturally when you put my relationship system to work. By doing so, you can date any woman — even if she’s wild, crazy, emotional and out of this world.
Relationships takes two to tango. As long as you have the right relationship mindsets and you’re doing the right things, the craziness should rarely bother you. And these relationships can be a lot of fun.
I’ve Dated My Fair Share Of ‘Crazy’ Girls
Over the years, I’ve dated a lot of different women. Introverts, extroverts, calm, emotional and so on. And as it would turn out, they all have their moments where they can be a bit ‘crazy’.
The reality is that most guys simply don’t understand female behavior. Guys are way more sensitive and emotional than they would like to admit and it causes relationship problems.
I’m not saying that guys shouldn’t be sensitive or emotional – this is part of being human, it’s okay. All I’m saying is that it only becomes a problem when you let it turn into judgment. This is what usually happens.
When I first started getting serious with women, they would do things that made absolutely no sense to me at the time. They would say they were going to do one thing and then do the complete opposite, or tell me what they like in a guy, but then go for a guy that doesn’t match anything that she would say at all.
It’s this type of behavior that makes us men decide early on in our lives that ‘women make no sense’ and that ‘women are crazy’. Why would anyone say one thing than do the opposite? That’s crazy!
So it really is perfectly understandable to think this way, and most guys will go their entire lives never learning the truth about women and thus sticking to their beliefs they’ve always had.
Humans Are Driven By Emotions
The lesson I want to share in this article is this: all of us humans are driven 100% by our emotions. Even if you think you’re making a logical decision, it is still purely based on your emotional feelings.
This is true for both men and for women. We are all driven 100% by our emotions. The relationships you get yourself into are because of your emotions.
The decisions you make, the things you say, what you think about, what you buy, what you do on a day to day basis are all driven by your emotional feelings.
You landed on my website due to an emotional feeling you have going on inside of you. Maybe you want to change yourself or your partner or the relationship. You’re looking for answers because of a feeling you have. And I think that’s good.
There is nothing wrong with accepting that you’re emotional since we’re all emotional. Therefore, to believe that some people are ‘more emotional’ than others is false.
The only difference is that some people have better control over their emotions than others. They usually have more experience, more knowledge, more understanding, etc.
Some people believe they need to control every situation. Other’s understand that most things are out of your control. This is why those that try to control and change relationships is a mistake.
The guys that try to change and control the behavior of their ‘crazy’ girlfriend always cause more problems because it’s not possible to control the emotions of other individuals.
The Actions Tell The Story
Something that I used to talk about all the time is that actions always speak louder than words.
You hear this all the time from all over the place. But now I this statement to a deeper level. And the deeper reasoning behind this statement is because of emotions.
Because we humans do everything based on our emotions, just because we say something doesn’t mean we’re going to actually do that.
What we feel right now in this moment could change abruptly within the next 10 minutes. You might be super pumped up to go white water rafting. But the moment you arrive at the river and see that it’s a class 5 turbo action flip fest, you’re most likely going to feel different.
“Actually guys, I just remembered I got this thing back home with my mom, we’re gonna grill up some steaks for dinner, might get a couple of onions and they still need to be chopped. You see, my mom can’t chop these onions because her eyes are really sensitive so I gotta do that for her, I’d love to jump on this raft with you guys but you know family comes first.”
Then you run back into your car and get the hell outta there :)
This is just how we are. Our emotions can change at a moments notice. We feel like doing something one moment, but then the next we’re doing the complete opposite.
This is why I don’t hold a lot of weight on words. I know through experience that words don’t mean anything unless there are the actions to back it up. Consistent actions.
If your girl is saying that she loves you, does she really love you? Or are these just words coming out of her mouth because right now her hormones are on fire and she’s desperate for attention?
So you see, without the consistency behind the words, they just don’t really mean anything. These words are just being said due to the current state of emotions.
Guys too often get sucked into words because they are codependent. This is why if you end up dating a crazy emotional girl, you really only have yourself to blame.
But this is okay because one of the best mindsets you’ll ever learn is that you must accept 100% responsibility for where you’re currently at in life.
It’s the hardest step to improving your relationships and your life, but it’s the most important one because it’s a battle of will. You have to be willing to let go of all blame. Only then can you push yourself forward.
A lot of actions by women can seem to be crazy. But when you begin to understand these relationship mindsets I always talk about, you being to understand how women think and you see the bigger, deeper picture which makes relationships a lot easier.
Drop The Labels
I really think it isn’t fair to be labeling people anymore. Even if your partner has BPD, it is still best that you completely drop the labeling mindset.
After all, when you accept 100% responsibility, you can’t go blaming things on your girl or the BPD or her narcissism. Of course it’s a factor, but don’t let convince yourself you’re the victim here.
Until you take this step to become responsible, you’ll never learn how to date these types of women.
So labeling people really just becomes a lose-lose situation. Nobody successful in business, life, relationships or sports got this success by blaming others. No matter how tough things got, they always accepted the responsibility and took it upon themselves to grow and self-improve.
This is why in 2015 all of my relationship articles and programs and mentoring revolve around teaching people these relationship mindsets.
According to recent divorce rate statistics, the divorce rate in America stands at about 50%. This means that marrying a ‘perfectly normal person’ (which is BS because nobody is perfect) still yields you a 50% chance of failure.
Knowing this, marriage is simply a risky endeavor no matter what. So why is it that in a world where we have more access to information than ever before are relationships failing at an alarming rate?
It’s Not That Women Are Crazy – It’s That Society Is Crazy
How is it that when we all have access to the internet with the millions and millions of tips on life, relationships, happiness, success, etc. that people are actually doing worse in their lives than ever before?
My belief is that it’s because of our mindsets. It’s common to label people, judge people, to think we deserve things, that we should be rewarded for our work, etc. There’s a lot of reasons why the common mindsets of people are so different from the champions of the past.
There are so many distractions coming at us from everywhere. While the internet has the power to change the world and do good, it also has the power to be used as a weapon of manipulation and corruption.
It’s been proven over and over again that advertisements, even if you ignore them, penetrate the subconscious mind. This is why commercials work even when you try to ignore them.
What has happened in our society is that we’ve simply been programmed with really horrible mindsets that have made us weak. We lack the information that makes us strong, healthy, enlightened and knowledgeable.
This applies to relationships because when you start dating a woman who becomes emotional, you literally have no idea what to do. You end up doing the wrong thing because what you have been taught tells you to do something that has never worked since the beginning of time.
We just live in a different world now and you have to be aware of that. The sooner you’re able to understand these relationship mindsets, the sooner you’ll begin to not be affected by all these outside forces.
In Conclusion
The advanced lesson here is that everything around you, all these distractions are designed to manipulate the way you think.
When you lose control of your own way of thinking, you really lose control of your own happiness.
The scary part about all this is that you don’t even realize it’s happening to you.
But the fact that most people are simply unhappy and unfulfilled is just the proof that this is what is going on all the time.
And it’s ruining our relationships.
But the good news is that you are in control of your brain.
You can change your thinking and learn these relationship mindsets so you can get yourself heading in the right direction.
– Rick
Zake says
I think the site was working just fine as it was. If there has to be chgaens then so be it. Perhaps there are NON’S that feel uncomfortable sharing their experiences with the opposite sex. That is a worry in its self. Is there a Gay site? Male only and female only of course. NON-related issues with their BPD SO’s i feel are uni-sex. Hope to keep sharing with ALL NON’s that have been left empty inside following a relationship with a BPD. It has been 22 months since i left my relationship. It trailed on through txs and at one point a meeting. An attempt at hoovering me back in i now realise. Next month it will be a year since i gave in and replied to his txs. There was a few txs from him over the festive period,blank ones,i deleted. I feel i have become stronger through time and also all you NON’s on here. Thanks to each and everyone of you.
Rick says
Hey Zake, the reality is that the advice I offer is for all relationship types. Why? Because what I offer and what truly creates healthy relationships is first developing the mindsets and skills. This means that you’re focusing on YOURSELF and not trying to find solutions to issues with your partner. That is and will always be the wrong way to fix a problem. So whether you’re gay, straight, bi, tranny, alien — it doesn’t matter. If you learn the knowledge you need, develop the mindsets and behaviors that people from all walks of life are drawn to, then you WILL notice positive changes in your current relationship. That’s why my BPD course has 18 sections. It takes time to go through. After 30 days, you’ll feel dramatically improved.
Cal says
It really comes down to what either P.T. Barnum said: “Always leave them wanting more.” That’s true for any girl, but it seems to be even more true for crazy/BPD girls. Rick, when you talk about being a “challenge,” this is how I tend to interpret what you’re saying. Agree?
Rick says
It’s not about playing games. A lot of guys get in this ‘game’ mindset where they think “ok if I ignore her for a couple of days or always leave early, then she’ll like me more.” This is the typical linear, fixed mindset. If you’re thinking this way, then you’re going to fail because this isn’t your natural self. Everything you do should be because of what YOU want to do – not what will get the girl to like you more or whatever. Get out of this ‘game’ mindset. All those seduction ‘gurus’ are really lost and don’t know how long-term attraction works.
jj says
it tears me apart being borderline. all i want is for the person i love to be happy. but i sometimes feel possessed by this illness. i seem to ‘snap out of it’ when the episodes pass (there’s always a STUPID trigger) and i’m left with this mess to clean up and all these apologies i have to make while i wasn’t myself!
i’ve had people tell me i’m bipolar, but i truly, and sadly, become my hideous borderline self when i’m in any type of romantic relationship. otherwise my emotions are at the very least, manageable.
bryan stallard says
Geez , u make apologies? That is still very helpful in my opinion. My woman NEVER does that, because she’s ALWAYS right. 99% of the time its my fault….bryan
Shahab Akhavan says
Why date a girl who has issues, and deal all the hassles. There’s tons of healthy girls out there with no issues.
Rick says
Most girls have issues, that’s why. BPD or not, if you don’t have the right attitude about relationships and you’re not on the same page as your girl, it’s going to fail. If you actually understand how these relationships work and how you need to behave, they’re easy as pie. And no, it has nothing to do with DBT therapy and whatever else BS you read about on BPD forums.
david says
Hi, rick im currently gg thru some some arguments with my girlfriend and my gf keeps saying that I dont understand her.. I really love her n we been together for more than years 18 months to be exact.. I tend to always justify myself n fight for not doing anything wrong.. im impatient at times with such case.. there was a time I was sleeping n it was 2am I was in a deep sleep n she called me saying she wanna hear my voice. But I was tired n I kinda told her off why are you calling me at this point of time if its aint serious? Vut honestly it was I who told her to call me if she cant sleep..
Rick, I belive im impatient and egoistic, and I feel sad when my gal cries.. please help me.. I dont wish to break up with her.. I love her n I truly do n I wanna show her with integrity and honor… please help me
Rick says
What exactly do you need help with? Email me man.
Noconfirmnordeny says
Plz let us know if u found help to the path of happiness cuz if u did get any closer to solving ur hills I’m going to need that path thanks
Rick says
Solved my issues years ago man, that’s why I’m dating an amazingly beautiful mid-20’s girl today ;)
crazy chicks are more fun says
Bpds? Until they drop you on your head and jump in a another guys bed. No matter how good you give it to em. Then tell me how ya feel. Watch how fast ya get hurt and turn a little wimpy. Even tho you have been doing everything right the whole time. They will cheat and lie and there’s nothing you can do about it. They are so caught up in their own world they don’t even know what’s going on. Then they always try to suck you back in. Crazy chicks are more fun. But it’s constant drama. You have to either deal with it or love it.
Rick says
Lol yea this is mostly true. It’s why I’ve moved on to high quality girls but there’s not many of them lol.
josh lionn says
I know you speak alot about not using labels.. but alot other bpd websites claim that these behaviors seen as some as manipulation or “playing games” are actually just tests thrown out by these bpd women? So if psychology is saying all these behaviors are normal. . How do you do you not look at a bpd/depressed women vs normal more stable women? How do you not treat them differently?… An example would be my X with BPD and depression only comes around when she hears there are new girls coming into my life… one could say well shes bpd it’s just her “hot cold” push pull cycle. . Testing how bad you want her… the other side of the coin is well this is a manipulative girl who doesn’t want me but also doesn’t want me to be happy with another girl. So how do you decipher these behaviors
Rick says
Well, the label will always exist don’t get me wrong. But I’m also not the type of guy that these behaviors of a BPD are going to effect. It just does no good to label people. Like you’re talking about a girl who comes around when you have other girls in your life? What exactly do you mean? How does that even effect you at all? If it were me, I’d just ignore her. Why don’t you do that?
The hot/cold cycle only effects you if you’re pretty needy and codependent. If you’re independent like me, a girl going cold isn’t going to bother you. Just let her do her thing. When she wants to come around, she will. In the mean time, do your own thing. Strong men aren’t affected by this hot/cold behavior because we just do other things with out lives when these women want to be like this. It’s like alright, go get your space, I’m going to do my thing. But also understand that because I’m an independent male, I don’t really experience the cold behavior. So it’s really a change of mindsets that you need, that’s all.
jj says
Alot of your stuff I’ve read says drop the labels of bpd etc. . But how do you justify or tell the difference between bpd/depressed women vs more stable “normal” girls . My question basically is my X girl won’t really “commit” to anything but won’t go away.. she pushed me away said we aren’t anything .. she needs space etc but a few days later once she hears another girl may be on my radar .. she says how can you be messing with another female while trying to “make us work”… now common sense would probably say this girl doesn’t want you but also wants none else to have you… but BPD discussion boards and such would probably say she’s not playing games or manipulative. . These are just shit “tests” to see how you would be if your single. .. something along those lines.. BPD girls are known for push pull hot cold but when does one say well her bpd has nothing to do with it shes just trying to control you?? There seems to be 2 sides of the coin from “nons” and people who actually suffer from bpd and depression
Rick says
The side of the coin is like what I said in my last reply. If a girl is going distant/cold/pushing you away, then the last thing you want to do is push back and chase. So as a strong, independent male, what you should do is not even worry about it. Let her push you away. Big deal. Go do your own thing for a bit and if you two aren’t officially together, then yeah she has no right to get upset with you seeing other girls. If a girl gets upset at you in this situation, just tell her “Look, until you commit to me, I’m not going to commit to you simple as that.” When you’re dealing with people of this nature, it is ALWAYS in your best internet to have them be forcing the relationship – not you. A lot of guys try to force these relationships and end up getting hurt. The girl commits for a week, the guy is happy, then she leaves again lol. So don’t fall for that. Don’t commit to her until she’s fully committed and by committed I mean consistently wanting to be with you for several weeks if not months. Make her lock you down.
jj says
Yeah dude .. Kinda got a scary story for ya dude.. So I head over there to ask what’s the problem with having other girls around and she says “it seems like you were trying to hide it from me” . . ” it was weird having to hear it from other people all the time” … I chatted a bit longer tried to make her more comfy .. She was really weirded out she kept saying “I know you’ve gotten with this girl blah blah leave me alone” (I haven’t hooked up with any girls after her was just being friendly and meeting new people) she kept insisting.. I kept insisting other wise .. She eventually eased up but got in this weird disconnected zone just like playing around with stuffed animals ignoring me (she’s early 20s .. Some may say its weird she still has them I dunno..) I eventually ease her into a more positive convo about career goals and life.. Eventually to gauge her reaction I just kiss her on the cheek.. She laughs smiles so I continue.. She eventually gets “fired up” or turned on you can say… So we start the “action” a couple thrusts in she FREAKS the F out.. “why are we doing this” ” were not together” “were never gonna be together” ” this is so confusing” … Freaking out… I’m just over her like… You’re alright its okay type shit lol. She continues going off “were not in a relationship blah blah blah ” like smacking her self in the head.. Having an episode shoot I dunno.. Anyways she’s like can you get your clothes on I’m like yeah no worries..she then starts saying I feel like your trying to force a relationship.. I’m like I’m sorry I realize now that you don’t like to be chased etc etc.. She’s like this isn’t what people who break up do.. They usually stop talking to each other and that’s that.. But we still talk.. Continued with were not getting together”I don’t want anyone to much stress on me.. All thus time she’s still kinda freaking out.. “if we had sex what would happen tomorrow? We aren’t anything” .. I’m just like I dunno id just wait for you to txt me I guess? She’s like no we’ve tried that dosent work its too confusing.. ” I don’t want anyone too much stress” I’m like what’s wrong “she’s like everyone in my life leaves me” ” they all come in my life and leave me”.. I was like yeah I know what you mean .. She’s like no you don’t… I tried to tell her I’ve been reading alot lately blah blah blah I know what your going through she’s like nah.. And started crying.. At this point I was already relatively traumatized and rdy to get out of this “crazy girls ” place.. “she also said she’s scared to get attached.. And she said I’m gonna eventually leave her..” etc.. I was really weirded out by the way it happened .. Mid thrust basically but it’s my fault.. Even though she went along so I felt all was running smoothly.. In the end I just said should I txt u? She’s just like I need my space.. The end.. Probably forever lol.. As much as she may be physically attracted to me.. I mean sex isn’t the biggest deal in the world to her at least at this moment.. So yeah there’s my nightmare from last night.
Rick says
Yeah man that’s a pretty crazy experience, but it’s classic with women that have abandonment issues. And you know, it’s not her fault so don’t try to think negatively about her and all that. It’s not her fault that as a child she had experiences that have caused her mindset to be this way. So just try hard to not judge her. This is the mistake most men make.
Now if I were in your shoes, I would have never had said ‘I understand’ or ‘I know what you’re going through’ because that’s just the worst thing to say. A lot of guys read BPD stuff and then they say shit like this and it only makes it worse. Because bro, you don’t understand lol. Her experience is unique to her, she will never believe you understand what she went thru. And you didn’t go thru what she did so you don’t. So you can’t say stuff like that, it only makes it worse. Instead man, you just gotta be like ‘Look, you have your reasons to feel how you feel so I’m not going to sit here and pretend I understand. But you know I’m here to listen and be your friend, but if we can’t be friends then yeah I’ll leave you alone and you can reach out to me later.’ and then she’ll warm up to you really quick.
That’s why these relationships aren’t difficult to deal with. It’s just that most of you guys say the wrong things, do the wrong things, and the girl pushes you away. But it’s entirely on you lol for saying dumb things. So you can’t really blame her for getting upset when you’re saying something as awful as ‘I know what you’re going through’ because bro you don’t. She just sees that as the biggest BS ever.
In the future, just be honest with her. No need to BS. The reason why guys like me have no problem dating these women is because we don’t judge, we don’t pretend to understand, we don’t try to force anything. We’re just real and honest and genuine and that’s what these women want.
Sean says
Clearly you are in extreme denial. Whether for yourself or for your significant other is none of my business. The simple fact remains, you are crazy, and I love that you at least took a step towards admitting it.
Rick says
Everybody is crazy :)