Finding Success in BPD and Codependent Relationships
One of the reasons why I spend a lot of time talking about codependent relationships is because I used to be a hardcore codependent.
Yep! Good ol’ Rick here was a needy, supplicating, weak man. I put women I wanted on the pedestal constantly and was afraid of rocking the boat. Not good!
As a result, all of my relationships eventually became toxic and abusive because I couldn’t be the man and lead the relationship as a man should.
Today I had an itch to write about a popular topic: The Fear of Abandonment and my experiences with this in my past BPD relationships that failed.
And my first opinion is that it’s really one of the most confusing things about people to understand. Thinking logically, as most people do, it just doesn’t make sense that someone with these fears of abandonment would push you away when you’re doing everything you can to be a great boyfriend or girlfriend.
So what’s the deal? What’s going on beneath the surface that you’re not seeing or understanding? Obviously the words he or she says isn’t matching up with the actions. So what’s the fear of abandonment really all about?
People have been struggling in relationships since the beginning of time, right? Even after thousands of years, men and women continue to struggle figuring out how to date in their current society.
Some people get it pretty well, but most people struggle. I really believe that it just has to do with a lack of real knowledge and experience. Some people get more experience than others, some people spend a lot of time learning and working on themselves.
Then you have others that don’t spend any time on themselves and simply go with the flow and hope for the best. If you’re the type of person that continues to live the same way year after year, then this could be a big reason why you’re not getting the relationship success you wish you could have.
To continue my pattern of lists, here are 7 relationship truths that you need to attach deep within your core and remind yourself how important they are to remember:
The short and sweet answer: Looks definitely matter.
The long, drawn out answer is that while being naturally attractive is a plus, there’s much more to it when it comes to attracting quality partners and quality relationships.
See that girl to the right? Assuming she’s a quality girl, it’s going to take a lot more than just being blessed with good genes (and being in awesome shape).
I believe that the major battle that people have with themselves is believing that they aren’t good enough – or that they don’t give themselves enough credit.
Maybe you’re naturally codependent and don’t know what to do about it. This article will help.