Finding Success in BPD and Codependent Relationships
So I was browsing Reddit (puke) a few weeks ago and came across this thread that I thought was really insightful.
It’s obvious if you’ve been reading my work for awhile, but still insightful and a good reminder of the truth nonetheless.
Here is what the person had to get off his chest:
The keys to a healthy relationship are good mindsets, self-respect, and emotional control.
But, there are a lot of other things that play an important role as well. People have written entire books on these subjects (most of these books suck by the way).
So what role does Rapport play in a relationship?
That’s what I want to quickly talk about in this email, as it does play a role.
The internet is flooded with stories about the impossibility of having relationships with BPD women.
However, time and time again my clients prove otherwise.
Having a healthy, intimate, drama-free relationship with a borderline isn’t an impossibility. Anyone telling you otherwise is bitter and angry (rightfully so most of the time).
I write differently than most people because I’ve been through several chaotic relationships in my life. But, I learned a lot from them and have managed to make relationships work with borderline women.
In our current society where we’re conditioned to feel worthless, it’s incredibly difficult to develop self-respect and experience better relationships.
Instead, we often go day to day feeling lost, sad, confused, lonely and bored. Your intimate relationships tend to be toxic.
Your life may seem to be in a constant state of chaos. Or, you can’t seem to figure out what your purpose is in life.
As a result, developing any sort of respect for yourself is virtually impossible. You’ve tried in the past. But, it’s not something you can just do over night.
I gotta say… being emotionally exhausted and drained is one of the most common traits you see in people these days.
Simply step outside and walk around. Most people you walk by will have a look of dread on their faces. It’s a look that screams “I’m tired, I’m frustrated with my life, leave me alone.”
This doesn’t apply to everyone of course, but definitely the mass majority of people in current society.
One second… lemme take a selfie… *click*
Now I BETTER get 150 likes or I’m going to cry myself to sleep!
Sound familiar?
Anyone who’s dated a social media obsessed guy or girl over the years can relate to how big of a factor Instagram and Snapchat and Twitter are to the relationship.
What makes this an interesting phenomenom is that this wasn’t the case just 5 years ago.
It’s only been the last several years that social media has had such a major impact on the dating game.
Had an email come in asking me if I had any tips on boosting self-esteem in a relationship that seems to be going down hill.
It’s a great topic because it’s a new year and ahaving a relationship that you’re excited to be in is tough if you have low self-esteem.
You forget that in your relationship, you are the major player.