Taking the "Crazy" Out of Your Relationships
As much as I enjoy helping my fellow man, I don’t forget about my women readers.
Nearly half of my readership are women. Which is really great because I’ve been coaching both men and women for years.
I’m glad I can help improve the dating and relationships for women. If I can help a woman meet an amazing man, then I’ve done my job.
This is a topic that hits right to the heart: trying to get that ex girlfriend back who seems to have a new boyfriend in a matter of weeks.
Or days in some cases.
Actually, I’ve seen women get a new boyfriend before she even broke up with her current one. That’s the real stinger. And, happens quite often actually.
I’ve been the victim of this. Several times in fact. It’s definitely one of the most painful experiences that can mess you up real good if don’t have your emotions under control.
Got my coffee in hand and I’m excited to be writing this post for you today. I’ve been getting some questions about interest lately and I want to share my opinion on the subject.
Today’s post is going to focus on COMMITMENT and why it’s the most important factor when it comes to dating and relationships. A lot of people focus on interest levels which in my opinion is a mistake.
I’m sure you see or know certain people in your life that just seem to ‘get it’. They have healthy relationships, they never have a problem dating good people, they have the dating life you wish you could have.
Why?
KEY TAKEAWAYS
1) Be appreciative of the fact that you were able to have this relationship.
2) Understand that relationships fall apart when your partner loses attraction for you.
3) You must have goals and purpose that are beyond the scope of the relationship.
4) Relationships teach you a lot about yourself. They should make you and your partner better.
Relationships are worse than ever before. Couples are breaking up left and right, thanks to the hook-up culture that the feminists and dating apps that have taken the world by storm.
One of the most common questions I receive from readers is how to stop a break up from happening.
Wouldn’t that be amazing if you could wave a magic wand, shout some Harry Potter spell, and your relationship instantly fixes itself?
Such a dream…
The biggest sign that your relationship is headed for the dumps is when your partner is being distant, unresponsive, cold, etc.
I’m NOT a fan of all those ‘get an ex back’ ebooks and lousy advice columns on the internet because they’re just full of junk advice written by people that don’t really have experience with this topic.
Seeing how I’ve gotten back together with multiple exes multiple times over the years, I feel that I owe you an explanation to how I’ve done it and how you can as well.
After a long and eventful weekend, I’m back in the ‘office’ and ready to bring you guys and girls some more dating advice – as well as what you can do to start seeing immediate results!
And by office, what I really mean is the local coffee shop. I’m fortunate enough to run a ‘lifestyle’ business that I’ve built over the years and I really think it’s had positive effects on my dating life. I’ll be discussing more of this in the future.
For now, let’s get our mindsets back on point because that’s what really matters, especially when it comes to dating for both men and women.
BPD relationships can be very complicated. I know this firsthand as I’ve been in several failed relationships throughout my life (especially my early relationships).
As a result of my intense experiences, I dedicated myself years ago to helping people with their BPD relationships simply for the fact that I like helping people and I don’t want people to experience the pains that I went through.
I hope that you enjoy my help and advice that I write about because I truly do believe that we’re all imperfect humans and I believe that Borderline’s want to find love and happiness as much as anyone else.
Earlier this month I talked about what women want, the qualities in men that really turn women on for the long-term.
I got some comments and emails from men that wanted to know what they should be looking for in women. And that’s what I’ll be addressing today.
There’s a lot more to women than just looks. In this day and age with all the thirst traps out there on Instagram and Facebook, it can be pretty distracting for us men.
Today I want to discuss the topic of why people cheat in relationships without singling out men or women.
According to this study on cheating, men still cheat more but women are starting to creep up there. Keep in mind, however, that this study is based on people that actually admit to the cheating.
If you want my opinion, I believe women cheat more than men these days because women are becoming the more powerful sex. They’re putting up with less and less bullshit today than before.
I received an email from one of my “inner circle” members. In this email, he talks about some of the advice his therapist gave him.
He is coming to me as well for advice which I’m proud of him for doing. You should always be seeking out multiple experts and do your research no matter what it is you’re dealing with.
While I do tend to talk down to therapists, I don’t hate them all. There are some good ones out there, but they can be hard to find. Again, you need to do your research by looking up this therapist and see if anyone has good things to say about him or her.
YOU: “Mmmm c’mon baby let’s have some fun..”
HIM/HER: “Not tonight, I’m tired and not in the mood.”
YOU: “You’re never in the mood anymore…”
I know it’s a simple example, but if you’re in a relationship where the sex is far and few between, then I really hope I can help you find some answers that you seek.
A relationship with little to no sex can be the start of a toxic journey down the drain. As I often teach on my blog, understanding the core issues of why this happens will answer your questions.
In the last article, I discussed The Truth About Love and my opinions on what true love really is and how it’s different from the common beliefs.
In this article, I want to continue this thread and talk about more specific situations that can affect relationships and this love/connection we seek.
As I regularly teach my readers and my clients, it’s important that you learn to be patient and not wear your heart on your sleeve.
I got an email from one of my coaching clients about how difficult it is for him to tell when love is real and when love is a fantasy.
They were dating a person with BPD and everything was great for the first few weeks or so.
No fights, no arguing, no cold behavior. Just warm affection and intimacy every single time they hung out.
It was like this person they met was finally the perfect person they’ve been searching for.
It’s very common in relationships to find your partner pushing you away for reasons you can’t figure out. Sometimes you may be dating someone that just isn’t very good with communicating issues and would rather hide.
Both situations can lead to toxic relationships and it’s why I wanted to bring you this article today about some beliefs that could be pushing your partner away.
As always, these beliefs may not apply directly to your situation, but they’re still good things to think about and consider. Perhaps your partner has these beliefs as well and is causing issues in the relationship.
In my opinion, if you’re in a serious relationship with someone, it’s never okay to just push someone away and go into hiding without communicating. It’s a major red flag and something I lookout for when I’m in the early stages of dating as it is a good indicator of what’s to come should drama stir up later in the relationship.
It’s been a busy week for me and so I’m a little late bringing you this post. I definitely want to provide you all with more than one article per week so I hope I can free up some time in the future to do this.
With the holidays approaching, it’s no better time to talk about relationship drama. From about October to around April, I notice a large uptick in the amount of relationships people get into. Call it the relationship season if you will.
Then around April or Spring time, people tend to break up. This is personally what I’ve noticed. I seem to believe it’s due to summer traveling and other vacation plans that tend to split people apart as well as the fact that it’s getting warmer and people are doing things.
Relationships are not easy. Anyone that tells you otherwise is full of it. A lot of what we learn growing up and from the general advice out there just isn’t accurate – I know this all too well and it’s why I’ve spent a lot of time teaching myself all of these things here that I write about.
Today I’m bringing you a list of 10 things that I find people waste their time with when it comes to relationships. These are mindsets and mentalities that can really mess things up for you in both life and relationships, in my opinion.
Everyone has their own beliefs and their own idea of what’s right and wrong. These are simply what I’ve found throughout my experiences and coaching hundreds and hundreds of both men and women.
People have been struggling in relationships since the beginning of time, right? Even after thousands of years, men and women continue to struggle figuring out how to date in their current society.
Some people get it pretty well, but most people struggle. I really believe that it just has to do with a lack of real knowledge and experience. Some people get more experience than others, some people spend a lot of time learning and working on themselves.
Then you have others that don’t spend any time on themselves and simply go with the flow and hope for the best. If you’re the type of person that continues to live the same way year after year, then this could be a big reason why you’re not getting the relationship success you wish you could have.
To continue my pattern of lists, here are 7 relationship truths that you need to attach deep within your core and remind yourself how important they are to remember:
This post comes from a client that listened to me and learned fast about how to succeed not only in BPD relationships, but in life in general. I love receiving success stories from my clients as they’re great to share with you.
One of the key lessons to learn from this email is how this man took time to really evaluate and learn about himself. Most people are too ego-centric and therefore never learn. Don’t be like this!
Through self-focus and learning more and more about his partner, he learned how he was also a codependent, which he then spent more time studying and learning about himself.
Through all of this work, he has built himself into a much more confident, well-spoken, out-going individual that has broken through his bubble and has learned how to not only truly love others but love himself as well. This results in QUALITY relationships and living. Enjoy!
I have enough relationship experience to know that when you’re a legit, cool individual, you’re going to receive attention and re-engagement from lovers of the past. This is just the reality when you’re consistently forward-moving and improving yourself as I always suggest.
This article is about turning a rebound relationship into something more serious. The reality is that a lot of men and women aren’t on the same page with the people that we meet and hook up with.
Whether it’s a new person you’ve met or a lover from the past, chances are either you or him/her isn’t ready to get into a full-fledged relationship at this time. Maybe you’re still recovering from a relationship or the girl you just hooked up with is on the rebound.
To continue our series on Toxicity, today I’m going to talk about some signs of a broken relationship, my beliefs on why there are so many of them out there and what you can do to avoid ending up in one altogether.
Divorce rates and broken relationships are at an all-time high because of the fact that most people have toxic beliefs and mentalities. Men are weaker and more passive than ever. Women are This creates a domino effect where women are lost and confused by who they should and shouldn’t date.
While there are men out there like me that understand long-term attraction and relationship success, at least 90% of men and women have no clue. This is why you can’t really blame women for dating ‘assholes’ when the rest of the men around her are weak and passive.