Taking the "Crazy" Out of Your Relationships
I got a great email from a reader who has been obsessing with his ex girlfriend.
He has worked hard to get over her, and finally came to the conclusion that he is suffering from Emotional Addiction.
In other words, he’s addiction to the highs & lows of his ex girlfriend. She has absolute power over him and dictates his feelings 24/7.
Let me guess: you’re dating a girl (or guy) who you know is bat shit crazy, and yet at times you start questioning your own insanity.
You start wondering if you’re just as crazy as your partner (or maybe even crazier).
Let me just say that you are not alone in these thoughts, my friend. In fact, anyone who’s been in an emotionally-driven relationship has felt this way before.
Here’s a question that dropped along my inbox just the other day. Behold:
“Hey Rick, I can’t stop thinking about my ex. Yes, she’s a bit crazy (or maybe it’s me that’s crazy), but I just can’t shake her loose out of my head. I want to move on and meet new people so how do I shake her from my thoughts?”
‘Tis a great question for this time of year. It’s cold outside, we want to cuddle and snuggle with someone.
Thinking about a crazy ex girlfriend or boyfriend that we recently had isn’t going to do us any good.
Pull up a chair fellas – it’s time to dive into the world of women and sex.
Particularly if they enjoy it as much as us men.
This is going to be fun.
And no – you don’t have to be a Chad Thunderccck to make women happy in bed.
So if this is something that you believe in, then I’ll help you smash that belief to pieces.
Did you know that I’m an introvert? It’s probably why I prefer writing instead of getting in front of a camera and blasting my face onto social media like other “influencers” do.
I’m not particularly shy, but you need to earn my attention. It’s one of my high-quality attributes. But, I used to be way more shy than I am now and I struggled to date women because of it.
Getting a girlfriend was something that (I believed) was simply not possible for me. Throughout my 20’s, I dabbled in pick-up stuff (which is 99% bullshit), read a lot of books, had a few BPD girlfriends.
One of the worst experiences you can have in a relationship is when your girlfriend goes cold on you.
Even worse is when you feel as if everything is going well: the sex is good, she says she loves you, you’re happy. Suddenly, she’s gone! She’s ghosted you and won’t return any texts or calls.
There are a lot of factors that can lead up to such a devastating loss. And we’ll get into some of these in this article.
Facebook and I have always had an interesting relationship. I’ve never been a fan of being “Facebook official” and as a result, I’ve had women get upset with me over that.
It’s completely irrational and petty, but it simply is what it is.
Facebook is here to stay. And I’m pretty sure relationships will be here at least for a while, right?
Therefore, in this post I’m going to answer a long email I got from a reader asking advice about Facebook relationships.
Lately I’ve been talking about these “Attraction Triggers” which are basically all you need to know if you want a healthy relationship.
These triggers go back thousands of years. They are the instincts we have as humans.
We cannot help who we are attracted to. The reason for this are these triggers.
If you understand these attraction triggers, you can keep your man or woman interested in you for as long as you live.
Here we go again. The common BPD myth.
This belief that Borderline’s are incapable of love and that the best solution is to run far away.
You hear this all the time. And, quite frankly, it’s getting really old at this point.
But I’m always up for the challenge (and I’ve never been bothered by people telling me this in hate mail).
Let’s do a bit of “Q&A” action today to start this post off.
QUESTION: Hey Rick, I’m really digging the new relationship report you sent out. But just a quick question. Let’s say she’s not getting up and running out of the movie theater. She’s at the point of saying “We’re just on two completely different wavelengths.”
What do you do with a statement like that, or at least turn it in your favor?
1) Incorrect mindsets from the non is why BPD or Bipolar relationships fail.
2) Society has rapidly changed in the past 5 years. You could make the argument for virtually anyone to have bipolar or BPD symptoms.
3) Learning what NOT to do is just as important as learning “tips” and “techniques.”
4) Drop the “Savior Mentality.” You’re not the Hero. The “good guy” finishes last for a reason.
5) Strong emotional control is key to BPD and Bipolar relationships.
First of all, I understand that BPD is a cluster B disorder. Furthermore, I am aware that Bipolar is a serious issue.
However, changing your mindsets to the ones that I teach will lead you to better relationships. This is my philosophy after all.
Am I saying that your BPD or Bipolar relationship will pull a 180 and be healthy forever? Of course not. Anyone saying otherwise is lying to you.
First of all, please don’t do the cucumber trick with your cats, lol. Apparently it’s a real instinct-based fear that might keep them from eating for a while :P
In this whopper of an article, you’re going to learn how to overcome your fear of failure when it comes to relationships and dating.
While fear is healthy for the most part, it can also cripple us to the point where it becomes destructive.
And that’s what I want to help you prevent.
So you’ve managed to find yourself in the grasps of a man with BPD, eh? I feel for you. Borderline Personality Disorder is no joking matter.
Too many articles (like this one) exist on the internet that demonize BPD. They’ll convince you that any sort of relationship with a BPD-type of man is a waste of your time.
But, I tend to disagree with the majority of advice you find on the internet. It’s no surprise at all that most BPD relationships fail.
At the end of the day, relationships are meant to improve your life and help you grow as a person.
If you’re getting absolutely no value out of your BPD boyfriend, then there really is no point of you being in that relationship — this applies to all men, not just ones with mental health issues. [Read more…]
2015 has come and gone. It’s time to bring in the New Year.
And with the new year, comes new growth. New changes. New evolutions.
If you’ve been reading my blog for some time now, you may know that I like to re-write old articles. To bring them up to speed.
Do you feel like you’re a “nice guy” (or girl) and yet you just can’t get a girlfriend? Or any intimacy to begin with?
Deep down, you know that you’re this good guy who only wants to make a woman happy. But no matter what you do, the women don’t seem to notice this.
What’s the deal? Why is it that “nice guys” (and some women) tend to never get the love they desperately want in return?
If you read my last blog post about why being “nice” and “good” can create problems, then you are ready to dive into more specific reasons of WHY “nice” people tend to finish last.
If your girlfriend is pushing you away and giving you the cold shoulder, then I’m glad you’re here because I’m going to get your mind headed in the right direction.
There’s nothing more annoying and painful (and immature) than to have your girlfriend give you that ghosting treatment.
In fact, I’d rather slam my pinky toe on the corner of a metal table than have my girlfriend give me the dreaded cold shoulder. That’s how much it annoys me.
While it might seem that I’m just here to help “normal/non-bpd” people succeed in BPD relationships, the reality is that both men and women with BPD enjoy my articles daily.
I’m not here to toot my horn or anything like that. I simply enjoy writing about my experiences dating someone with BPD.
In fact, I’ve helped many people with BPD turn their lives around. It’s possible as long as you believe that it is. And that starts with you.
Recovering your life after a BPD relationship can be an extremely difficult time. But I don’t want to focus on the negative here. After all, I like to be jolly and keep things upbeat. Upbeat, I tell ya! So let me bring some positive vibes in this time of healing for you.
I’ve been writing about BPD for several years now. I’ve dated multiple women with BPD and have experienced basically everything that comes with these emotional relationships. And while I did go through a lot of pain, I am more strong and independent than ever before.
And that’s a good thing. A lot of people who get into BPD relationships tend to lack the emotional control needed in relationships. That’s how I was. I let myself get carried away and fall victim to these women who used me, hurt me, cheated on me and so on.
I remember those days where I’d be sitting around wondering why my ex girlfriend would text me out of the blue, usually right after I moved on from her!
It made no sense. Just out of the blue I hear a *ding* and sure enough, there she is asking me a random question or simply asking me how I’m doing.
What’s funny is that my ex girlfriends would never text or call me back when I was putting in the effort and reaching out to her. WTF?
As much as I enjoy helping my fellow man, I don’t forget about my women readers.
Nearly half of my readership are women. Which is really great because I’ve been coaching both men and women for years.
I’m glad I can help improve the dating and relationships for women. If I can help a woman meet an amazing man, then I’ve done my job.