Taking the "Crazy" Out of Your Relationships
It’s that time of year again — Valentine’s Day!
If you’ve been reading my writings for a few years, you may recall that I always go on a rant on Valentine’s Day.
However, the “problem” I’m having today is finding something to rant about.
Lately, every single email in my Free Newsletter I’ve written has been me ranting. So, I’m not sure what I can rant about when I’m always ranting in the first place.
And what isn’t there to rant about?
Out of all the problems I help people with in their relationships, being less needy and clingy in relationships takes the top spot.
Neediness is, by far, the biggest turnoff. If you want your partner to push you away and lose feelings for you, be as needy as possible. It will get the job done.
The problem is that most people aren’t aware of their needy behavior. You don’t realize how clingy you have been. As a result, you wake up one day ghosted without a clue.
I came across an article the other day about how if a man truly loves a woman, he won’t stop pursuing her.
If you’ve read any of my writings before, you’ll know how silly of a statement that is to make. Luckily, this article is on a blog for women so it’s not really designed for men to read.
Those types of websites try to give women good feelings. The author is probably a bitter women who is trying to cope with the pain of being dumped by her ex boyfriend.
The internet is full of people giving their opinions about how to fix a broken relationship and rebuild it to what it once was.
But isn’t that exactly what I’m doing here? Of course! The internet is an amazing place where we can all share our opinions about relationships.
Even better, if you don’t agree with someone, you simply hit the back button and find somebody else. This is especially true with relationships because we all have our own unique situations.
Perhaps you’re dating a narcissist. Or maybe you’re simply looking for happiness. Either way, the power is in YOUR hands to research what you want.
If you’re wondering how to get a narcissist to love you, you’re not alone. In fact, narcissism search trends have skyrocketed in recent years according to Google.
In the 8 years of running this website, I’ve never written an in-depth guide about narcissism and relationships. So, I’m excited to write about this. It’s been a long-time coming because many people who are codependent end up in relationships with narcissists.
Because the narcissist tends to lack empathy and emotional maturity, it’s difficult for them to have healthy relationships and experience unconditional, true love.
With that said, it isn’t impossible. These people aren’t sociopaths or psychopaths. They aren’t completely devoid of emotions. They may be self-absorbed most of the time, but that doesn’t mean they can’t improve and become better.
I love talking about bad relationship habits. When your partner pushes you away, I can guarantee that it’s due to some sort of bad habit you’re (most likely) clueless about.
Make no mistake: getting yourself into a healthy, successful relationship is the result of having good habits.
So much of everything you’ll read about when it comes to improving your life is about how to develop these good habits that other people use successfully in their lives.
Depending on your upbringing, you may have several life-crippling bad habits. These can be small things as well as big things.
And, when you get into a relationship, these habits will have a negative effect on the relationship. They will (quickly in most cases) lower your level of attractiveness in the eyes of your lover.
I have a soft spot in my heart for borderlines because my first relationship was with a girl who has BPD. In fact, I’ve dated several borderline women over the years.
These relationships can be extremely difficult when you don’t have the knowledge and the skills needed to be with these people.
And, depending on the level of her personality disorder, it could very well be impossible to have a healthy relationship with her.
But, that shouldn’t prevent you from at least trying to make it work. Which is why I’m here with this website and why I’m passionate about helping men and women succeed in borderline relationships.
First things first: I’m not a doctor. This article is simply my personal advice if you’re trying to help someone with BPD seek treatment and improve themselves.
Good on ya! That takes balls. But, you must do things the right way. Understand the BPD relationship stages before you embark on a journey of becoming this ‘hero’ that you want to be.
The one key thing I want you to keep in mind is that it’s not your responsibility to help or fix your partner.
However, if your partner wants help and support, there are things you can do to guide him or her in the right direction.
So you’re dating a girl with BPD eh? I know every article on the internet tells you to run from borderline women, but I do things differently around these parts.
My relationship history is full of attractive BPD women. A decade of drama and chaos to put it lightly…
But, I made it out alive and have managed to remain amazing friends with many women who (most likely) have BPD. Some still refuse to admit they have aren’t perfect ;)
Anyway, BPD is a Cluster B personality disorder that is rather common these days from my experience.
According to a quick Google search, Borderline Personality Disorder is “characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior.”
I have dated dozens and dozens of women over the years. I can confidently say that you’ll find these characteristics in most women, lol.
A powerful set of relationships mindsets are the answer for dating women with BPD.
If you feel like you’re genuinely a nice guy or good guy, different from all the other “assholes” out there, then please read this article.
Why is it that when you’re good to your partner, things only tend to get worse? You’re going out of your way for him/her, you’re trying to please and make them happy, you ‘different’ from his or her previous partners, etc.
Yet the relationship only gets worse and leads to failure. Why does this tend to happen so often these days?
In this big article, I’ve written about 14 reasons why the “good” men and women tend to experience more drama in their relationships than all the other people you’re ‘different’ from. Read on!
Many women who are dating sociopaths stumble on my blog. They often wonder why their boyfriend won’t love her the way she loves him.
You might mistakenly assume that your boyfriend has BPD or some other disorder.
But, chances are your boyfriend has a number of issues going on with his mental health. And, since I’m NOT a mental health professional, I’m simply going to write about what I believe are the warning signs of a sociopathic man.
Take what you learn from this and simply apply it to your situation. If everything I write sounds exactly like your boyfriend, then you need to consider the reality that it may be time to leave, and he needs help from a professional.
Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Am I too intimidating to date? Do people thing I’m hard to approach? Is my personality too strong for relationships?”
Well, the fact that you’re reading this article probably means that you’ve asked yourself these questions more than once. I know I have.
I’ve been told I have a strong personality. Women have told me over the years that I give off an intimidating vibe. I’m okay with this as I’ll explain below.
So, I’ve grabbed a bunch of common signs to think about to see if you’re actually too intimidating for a relationship.
The other day, I came across an article that talked about why single women are happier than women in relationships.
The author tried to make the argument than the longer a woman is single, the happier she will become.
So, I’m going to give my own take on this subject and give you the truth about women and relationships.
I will give the author some credit. She states that a lot of women end up unhappy in relationships due to having shitty boyfriends. I agree with this statement.
So your goal is to build a great relationship with someone, whether that’s your current girlfriend or boyfriend, or someone completely new.
Maybe you’re recently single and you want to know what you need to do going forward so you don’t end up in a toxic relationship once again.
Either way, my advice is very straight forward for this:
Only date someone who is great and makes you want to be great.
One of the most common questions I get is this:
Why is it that women (especially young women) choose to date these awful, deadbeat losers instead of successful, hard-working, stable guys?
It all comes down to the way women are with their emotions.
And, in this social media age we live in, the deadbeat loser can really spike a woman’s emotions to obscene levels.
One of the hardest things for any man or woman in a BPD relationship is the “No Contact Rule” or NC for short.
The topic of No Contact is one of the most popular on the internet for a reason.
Why is this?
Well, the simple reason for this is because it does tend to work.
But does it work in the way that you want it to?
One of the most frequent questions I get from readers around these parts is this:
“What the hell does my borderline lover want in my relationship? What can I do differently so that the relationship improves?”
Well, you stumbled onto the right article in the vast world of internets.
You’re going to learn exactly what your lover wants thanks to this amazing testimonial I received the other day.
Check it out:
Our society is such a joke these days. Get this:
Have you seen that new magazine cover stating how being a beta male shows strength?
I won’t even say what publication this comes from because I don’t want to give them ANY publicity.
But, it’s this programming of the mainstream that has caused men to be weak and fragile.
Got a good story from a member today about his girlfriend who continues to talk to her ex boyfriend. I’m glad he reached out to me because this is a common situation.
He wants to know why she’s so “difficult” and hard to understand.
Is it because of her upbringing? Because of her sexual past?
Or is she a raging Borderline that can’t be tamed? Read on and you’ll learn why this man is struggling to date this woman.
(my comments are in bold).
I got a great email from a reader who has been obsessing with his ex girlfriend.
He has worked hard to get over her, and finally came to the conclusion that he is suffering from Emotional Addiction.
In other words, he’s addiction to the highs & lows of his ex girlfriend. She has absolute power over him and dictates his feelings 24/7.