Taking the "Crazy" Out of Your Relationships
While it might seem that I’m just here to help “normal/non-bpd” people succeed in BPD relationships, the reality is that both men and women with BPD enjoy my articles daily.
I’m not here to toot my horn or anything like that. I simply enjoy writing about my experiences dating someone with BPD.
In fact, I’ve helped many people with BPD turn their lives around. It’s possible as long as you believe that it is. And that starts with you.
Recovering your life after a BPD relationship can be an extremely difficult time. But I don’t want to focus on the negative here. After all, I like to be jolly and keep things upbeat. Upbeat, I tell ya! So let me bring some positive vibes in this time of healing for you.
I’ve been writing about BPD for several years now. I’ve dated multiple women with BPD and have experienced basically everything that comes with these emotional relationships. And while I did go through a lot of pain, I am more strong and independent than ever before.
And that’s a good thing. A lot of people who get into BPD relationships tend to lack the emotional control needed in relationships. That’s how I was. I let myself get carried away and fall victim to these women who used me, hurt me, cheated on me and so on.
This article has been long in the making. It’s a question that’s probably often in your head.
Can people with BPD really have a healthy relationship? Is it actually possible, Rick? Or are these people doomed?
These are the deeper questions that lie beneath a lot of the surface level questions you may have.
I love me some BPD women. They are usually very attractive and irresistible when they’re in a good mood.
With enough experience, you learn how to give these sexy women what they need which keeps them in a good mood most of the time.
I get my fair share of haters who say that dating a woman with BPD is impossible. But I’ve done it over and over again, and without the common irrationality that other people experience.
I really don’t like using the word ‘survive’ as it sounds like we’re just trying to keep our heads above water.
I really want you to do more than just survive – I want you to thrive in BPD relationships because I’ve been doing it for years, and teaching men and women what I know.
Leaving a BPD relationship worse off than before you entered is always a clear sign that you stuck around far too long and lost a lot of self-respect and pride. Not good.
This next article in my BPD series is about how to help you support your partner that has BPD, or who you suspect is showing symptoms of BPD.
Something to keep in mind in these relationships is that until your partner is actually out of denial and accepting that they want to improve, it does you absolutely no good to tell them that they have BPD and should see a doctor.
This is why correct support is vital. You have to know how to support someone who is in denial. The more you try to force and control situations, the more problems and conflict you’ll actually create.
The next article in the BPD series is about how you can improve your BPD relationship, no matter how toxic it may have become.
I’ve been personal coaching both people with BPD and non’s for years now. At the end of the day, improving your relationship always starts with you. You cannot expect your partner to just change.
However, as you change yourself and improve your self-esteem, your partner might be influenced to change as well. But this isn’t something you should focus on because it’s out of your control.
So you were in a relationship with a BPD that was absolutely amazing for several months.
It was probably some of the best moments you’ve ever had in life: amazing sex, amazing happiness, your heart feeling full, etc.
And then?
KABLAM!
Your BPD ex leaves you for someone else out of nowhere. Everything was great just the other day. What the hell happened?
You can’t believe how quickly everything went down hill. Your partner was great the other day, and then today? It’s as if he/she became a completely different person.
BPD relationships can be very complicated. I know this firsthand as I’ve been in several failed relationships throughout my life (especially my early relationships).
As a result of my intense experiences, I dedicated myself years ago to helping people with their BPD relationships simply for the fact that I like helping people and I don’t want people to experience the pains that I went through.
I hope that you enjoy my help and advice that I write about because I truly do believe that we’re all imperfect humans and I believe that Borderline’s want to find love and happiness as much as anyone else.
I received an email from one of my “inner circle” members. In this email, he talks about some of the advice his therapist gave him.
He is coming to me as well for advice which I’m proud of him for doing. You should always be seeking out multiple experts and do your research no matter what it is you’re dealing with.
While I do tend to talk down to therapists, I don’t hate them all. There are some good ones out there, but they can be hard to find. Again, you need to do your research by looking up this therapist and see if anyone has good things to say about him or her.
Being in a long-term relationship and married to someone with a cluster B disorder such as BPD (borderline personality disorder) can be an immense undertaking, especially if you lack relationship experience.
Relationships in general are a difficult undertaking in this day and age. Add BPD-related issues to the mix and it’s like throwing more gasoline on an out of control blaze.
The good news is that being married to a BPD doesn’t have to be as difficult and confusing as you may currently believe.
[Read more…]
The more time that you spend learning about BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and other behavioral relationships, the more you will realize that most people in these relationships suffer from some sort of Codependency issues.
People with BPD are usually very codependent individuals. They seek the same love and affection that codependents seek. But, BPD has other issues that can be much more chaotic than anything you’ll find in a codependent person.
Over the years, I have gotten much better at figuring out the causes of codependency and more importantly, how to smash these problems so you can live a happier, healthier life.
Dating someone with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is not an impossible task despite what you often read about on the internet.
A relationship with a Borderline is highly possible (and fun) as long as you understand the key principles needed to make BPD relationships work.
Throughout my many years of coaching men and women, I have found that the BIGGEST cause of BPD relationship failure is when the non-BPD fails to establish boundaries early on.
And by boundaries I mean personal boundaries – actions and behaviors that you know are most likely red flags.
And this isn’t just limited to people with BPD – any type of relationship you involve yourself in will be more successful the more you value and respect yourself.
This post comes from a client that listened to me and learned fast about how to succeed not only in BPD relationships, but in life in general. I love receiving success stories from my clients as they’re great to share with you.
One of the key lessons to learn from this email is how this man took time to really evaluate and learn about himself. Most people are too ego-centric and therefore never learn. Don’t be like this!
Through self-focus and learning more and more about his partner, he learned how he was also a codependent, which he then spent more time studying and learning about himself.
Through all of this work, he has built himself into a much more confident, well-spoken, out-going individual that has broken through his bubble and has learned how to not only truly love others but love himself as well. This results in QUALITY relationships and living. Enjoy!
Hello everyone and welcome to Reignite The Fire!
It is 2014 and it has been quite a few weeks since I have last posted an article. I’ve been both busy and lazy this past month but it’s time to end that and get back in the groove.
On the table for 2014:
Got an in-depth email from a coaching client who wants some feedback on his long-distance relationship with a BPD girl. It takes courage to sign up for my coaching as I tend to bring the hard truths.
I thought I would share with you my thoughts in this article because you’ll find it very relevant if you are also in a long-distance relationship.
Borderline women can be quite tough to date these days. But seeing how BPD is basically “mainstream” and found in almost all women, I think you’ll benefit greatly from the information I shared with my client.
You’ll find my comments below in the BLUE text. The client’s comments are the regular black text.
A common question I receive from readers and clients alike is if their most recent girlfriend has BPD. And because I believe that most women in general have Borderline-like traits, the easy answer is YES, lol.
But simply saying YES goes against everything I teach because I do *not* like to generalize and label people. Doing so is lazy and takes the responsibility off of your shoulders. So don’t do it!
Women who have BPD are still unique in their own ways. You need to start focusing on the *behaviors* instead of the actual BPD label. You’ll see how I do this below with my comments.
My comments are added in italics and blue as I go through the email.