BPD Archives | Reignite The Fire

Borderline Ex Stopped Communicating. What Should You Do?

by Rick 61 Comments

BPD ex stop communication

As someone who has dated someone with BPD, and have several friends with BPD, I want to share some advice about what to do when your borderline ex stops communicating and cuts you off.

It’s a common question I receive from both men and women who are in relationships with people who have BPD.

Now, you don’t need to some communication or relationship “expert” to make these relationships succeed.

In fact, I would say it’s much better to be experienced than to be “smart”. This is true in the real world and it holds true for relationships as well.

7 Ways to Strengthen and Improve BPD Relationships

by Rick Leave a Comment

strengthen relationships

I have a soft spot in my heart for borderlines because my first relationship was with a girl who has BPD. In fact, I’ve dated several borderline women over the years.

These relationships can be extremely difficult when you don’t have the knowledge and the skills needed to be with these people.

And, depending on the level of her personality disorder, it could very well be impossible to have a healthy relationship with her.

But, that shouldn’t prevent you from at least trying to make it work. Which is why I’m here with this website and why I’m passionate about helping men and women succeed in borderline relationships.

Moving In and Living With A BPD Partner

by Rick 3 Comments

moving in with bpd partner

Got a question recently from a guy who is moving in with his BPD girlfriend. He wants to know what to expect when you’re living with someone who has BPD.

If you’ve been reading my articles for some time now, you’ll know that I believe BPD is very situational and that you should focus on the behaviors that you encounter.

In other words, every case of BPD seems to be pretty damn unique. Sure there are similarities (such as raging, pushing you away, drama) but these things are common in all types of relationships.

They are also very behavioral because while some person might be extremely hot and cold, other’s not so much. I’ve dated girls that raged every single time they drank and other girls that actually got happier when they drank.

How To Help Someone With BPD Seek Treatment

by Rick 5 Comments

help someone with bpd treatment

First things first: I’m not a doctor. This article is simply my personal advice if you’re trying to help someone with BPD seek treatment and improve themselves.

Good on ya! That takes balls. But, you must do things the right way. Understand the BPD relationship stages before you embark on a journey of becoming this ‘hero’ that you want to be.

The one key thing I want you to keep in mind is that it’s not your responsibility to help or fix your partner.

However, if your partner wants help and support, there are things you can do to guide him or her in the right direction.

Dating A Girl With BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

by Rick 232 Comments

dating girl bpd

So you’re dating a girl with BPD eh? I know every article on the internet tells you to run from borderline women, but I do things differently around these parts.

My relationship history is full of attractive BPD women. A decade of drama and chaos to put it lightly…

But, I made it out alive and have managed to remain amazing friends with many women who (most likely) have BPD. Some still refuse to admit they have aren’t perfect ;)

Anyway, BPD is a Cluster B personality disorder that is rather common these days from my experience.

According to a quick Google search, Borderline Personality Disorder is “characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior.”

I have dated dozens and dozens of women over the years. I can confidently say that you’ll find these characteristics in most women, lol.

A powerful set of relationships mindsets are the answer for dating women with BPD.

Is It Possible To Date A BPD Woman? Client Shares His Story

by Rick Leave a Comment

possible to date bpd woman

The internet is flooded with stories about the impossibility of having relationships with BPD women.

However, time and time again my clients prove otherwise.

Having a healthy, intimate, drama-free relationship with a borderline isn’t an impossibility. Anyone telling you otherwise is bitter and angry (rightfully so most of the time).

I write differently than most people because I’ve been through several chaotic relationships in my life. But, I learned a lot from them and have managed to make relationships work with borderline women.

Stages of a BPD Relationship and How They Evolve

by Rick 37 Comments

BPD relationship stages

Trying to figure out the different stages of a BPD relationship? Wondering how a BPD relationship evolves over time? Confused in general and wondering what to do?

Well, that’s why I’m here. This article, as well as dozens of others I’ve written, will help you answer these questions. So bookmark my site if you haven’t done so yet.

I regularly write about BPD and codependent relationships because I love helping people reach the success and happiness they strongly desire.

It’s my mission to help men and women all over the globe have better relationships. Understanding the stages of a BPD relationship will help you reach your goal.

Should I Break NC (No Contact) With BPD Ex?

by Rick 4 Comments

One of the hardest things for any man or woman in a BPD relationship is the “No Contact Rule” or NC for short.

The topic of No Contact is one of the most popular on the internet for a reason.

Why is this?

Well, the simple reason for this is because it does tend to work.

But does it work in the way that you want it to?

What Your Borderline Lover Wants In A Relationship

by Rick Leave a Comment

One of the most frequent questions I get from readers around these parts is this:

“What the hell does my borderline lover want in my relationship? What can I do differently so that the relationship improves?”

Well, you stumbled onto the right article in the vast world of internets.

You’re going to learn exactly what your lover wants thanks to this amazing testimonial I received the other day.

Check it out:

An Interview With A Borderline: Woman Edition

by Rick Leave a Comment

What follows is a quick interview I had with a borderline woman.

There is an incredible amount of gold to be gained from this interview. Many of the things I’ve been teaching for years are confirmed by her. You’ll see how her boyfriend naturally behaves in the manner that I coach.

I won’t say much more about this because I want you to read it and pick up on these things for yourself.

Enjoy!

Is Social Media Destroying Your Relationship?

by Rick 6 Comments

One second… lemme take a selfie… *click*

Now I BETTER get 150 likes or I’m going to cry myself to sleep!

Sound familiar?

Anyone who’s dated a social media obsessed guy or girl over the years can relate to how big of a factor Instagram and Snapchat and Twitter are to the relationship.

What makes this an interesting phenomenom is that this wasn’t the case just 5 years ago.

It’s only been the last several years that social media has had such a major impact on the dating game.

DBT Therapy Will Make You Bitter & Resentful

by Rick 2 Comments

dbt therapy relationships resentful

One of the more common forms of “treatment” for BPD is in the popular DBT therapy (developed by a liberal feminist in Seattle, of course).

Why do I get political about it right from the beginning?

I don’t know. I like to be political, but I also understand that it’s not really a good idea to be getting political when the reader such as yourself is seeking help.

However, I find it important to understand this fact with the approach of DBT therapy, especially when it comes to relationships with a Borderline.

How A Borderline Saved My Life

by Rick 6 Comments

BPD Can Save Lives

I’m here in my “office” recalling my past when I dated some serious Borderline’s who really took a number on me.

If you’ve been reading my stuff here for awhile now, then you know I’m not some “guru” or some self-proclaimed relationship “expert.”

I’m simply a guy who has a lot of experiences with dating girls with BPD. I originally created this blog in 2010 to write about my experiences and vent, lol.

How To Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex Girlfriend

by Rick 2 Comments

obsessing over my ex girlfriend

I got a great email from a reader who has been obsessing with his ex girlfriend.

He has worked hard to get over her, and finally came to the conclusion that he is suffering from Emotional Addiction.

In other words, he’s addiction to the highs & lows of his ex girlfriend. She has absolute power over him and dictates his feelings 24/7.

When Your Ex Comes Back. Then Leaves Again.

by Rick 4 Comments

ex left came back

Here’s a somewhat common relationship situation involving your ex:

Take a minute to imagine that you’re currently broken up (if you are currently broken up, then there’s no reason to imagine).

At 2 in the morning, your ex calls you up and says that he or she misses you and wants to hear your voice.

This is certainly fine and dandy for ya, right? It’s what you’ve been waiting for all this time.

To make things even better, your ex says that she is willing to meet up at your house.

Wowzers!

Can Borderlines/BPD Fall In Love In Relationships?

by Rick 12 Comments

can BPDs love?

Here we go again. The common BPD myth.

This belief that Borderline’s are incapable of love and that the best solution is to run far away.

You hear this all the time. And, quite frankly, it’s getting really old at this point.

But I’m always up for the challenge (and I’ve never been bothered by people telling me this in hate mail).

When Your Partner Says We’re On Different Wavelengths

by Rick Leave a Comment

relationship different wavelengths

Let’s do a bit of “Q&A” action today to start this post off.

QUESTION: Hey Rick, I’m really digging the new relationship report you sent out. But just a quick question. Let’s say she’s not getting up and running out of the movie theater. She’s at the point of saying “We’re just on two completely different wavelengths.”

What do you do with a statement like that, or at least turn it in your favor?

5 Reasons Why BPD or Bipolar Relationships Fail

by Rick 269 Comments

5 signs bpd bipolar relationship

If you want to know why BPD or Bipolar relationships fail, then you’ll want to read this article.

Key Takeaways

1) Incorrect mindsets from the non is why BPD or Bipolar relationships fail.
2) Society has rapidly changed in the past 5 years. You could make the argument for virtually anyone to have bipolar or BPD symptoms.
3) Learning what NOT to do is just as important as learning “tips” and “techniques.”
4) Drop the “Savior Mentality.” You’re not the Hero. The “good guy” finishes last for a reason.
5) Strong emotional control is key to BPD and Bipolar relationships.

First of all, I understand that BPD is a cluster B disorder. Furthermore, I am aware that Bipolar is a serious issue.

However, changing your mindsets to the ones that I teach will lead you to better relationships. This is my philosophy after all.

Am I saying that your BPD or Bipolar relationship will pull a 180 and be healthy forever? Of course not. Anyone saying otherwise is lying to you.

Dating a Man with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

by Rick 199 Comments

dating a man with bpd

So you’ve managed to find yourself in the grasps of a man with BPD, eh? I feel for you. Borderline Personality Disorder is no joking matter.

Too many articles (like this one) exist on the internet that demonize BPD. They’ll convince you that any sort of relationship with a BPD-type of man is a waste of your time.

But, I tend to disagree with the majority of advice you find on the internet. It’s no surprise at all that most BPD relationships fail.

At the end of the day, relationships are meant to improve your life and help you grow as a person.

If you’re getting absolutely no value out of your BPD boyfriend, then there really is no point of you being in that relationship — this applies to all men, not just ones with mental health issues. [Read more…]

Can BPD Relationships Work Long-Term?

by Rick 176 Comments

bpd relationships work long-term

2015 has come and gone. It’s time to bring in the New Year.

And with the new year, comes new growth. New changes. New evolutions.

If you’ve been reading my blog for some time now, you may know that I like to re-write old articles. To bring them up to speed.