Reignite The Fire

Finding Success in BPD and Codependent Relationships

Attraction

When it comes to relationships, attraction is key (obviously). But I don't think people realize just how important it is. These days, there's a lot of bullshit and misinformation on the internet about what's attractive. Because I like to make it simple, here's my answer: attractiveness is a combination of your physical appearance, your state of mind, and your energy levels. That's it. Get these 3 things right and you'll appear attractive to people until the end of time. I will also add that your physical appearance is easily 70% of the game. All of those self-help "gurus" who talk about being present or approaching women or what to say in this or that situation -- they're just trying to scam you. You MUST focus on your physical appearance and make it #1 until you reach a level that's attracting the people you want.

Why Are Women So Hot and Cold?

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So you’ve recently met a woman who you have a strong connection with. She’s hot for you and you have great dates, conversations and sex. But suddenly, she’s cold as ice leaving you confused. This begs the question: why are women so hot and cold?

If this is a common occurrence for you when it comes to dating women, you’re not alone. In fact, if you’re a man who dates attractive women, you will constantly experience the hot/cold treatment from women. It’s going to be normal and you should expect it.

This is the state of women in our current society thanks to social media and dating apps giving them attention from men 24/7. You shouldn’t expect anything less these days.

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What’s The Best Way To Make New Friends?

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Originally written by Shark on April 17, 2012

A question comes in:

Some other reader asked about making friends, could you please do a post on this? Your book mentions the skills necessary to AMOG them, but what about to make them? I’ve read through all your past posts, and gathered that practicing social skills is a necessary aspect, but could you give some insight on the friendship dynamic itself possibly?

Friendship is an evolved concept, developing primarily because social codependency increases our chances for survival. If it did not, there would be no herding phenomena, nor a clique/pack mentality. In fact, an interesting book I once read (Death From A Distance by Paul Bingham) correlates human cooperation directly with the development of efficient methods to control conflict through coercion.

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Stop Building Rapport. Break Rapport And Do This Instead

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stop building rapport

The keys to a healthy relationship are good mindsets, self-respect, and emotional control.

But, there are a lot of other things that play an important role as well. People have written entire books on these subjects (most of these books suck by the way).

So what role does Rapport play in a relationship?

That’s what I want to quickly talk about in this email, as it does play a role.

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Is Your Girl Playing Hard To Get? Here’s What To Do…

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playing hard to get

Wondering why the girl you’re dating is playing hard to get? Read this article to find out what you should do.

One of the more annoying experiences of dating a girl is when she decides to play hard to get.

Or, it at least feels that way.

She’s giving you less attention, she isn’t responding to calls or texts, she doesn’t seem to talk as much as she used to, she isn’t sleeping with you as much, etc.

Why does she behave this way? Does she no longer have feelings for you? Has she met another guy?

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If You Love Her, Should You Pursue Her or Let Her Go?

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should you chase women?

If you’re in love with a woman and think you need to pursue her, read this article before you fall into the friendzone.

I came across an article the other day about how if a man truly loves a woman, he won’t stop pursuing her.

If you’ve read any of my writings before, you’ll know how silly of a statement that is to make. Luckily, this article is on a blog for women so it’s not really designed for men to read.

Those types of websites try to give women good feelings. The author is probably a bitter women who is trying to cope with the pain of being dumped by her ex boyfriend.

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Give Her Some Space. Let Her Come To You. It’s Healthy

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give space in relationships

One of the most important lessons I teach people is this: you need to give her some space. Let her come back to you on her own terms.

It’s a very simple lesson, yet incredibly difficult to follow if you’re in a codependent relationship.

The reasons for this is obvious: as a codependent, you struggle to be alone. You feel like you need your partner to be with you or else life sucks.

Giving her some space feels like the last thing you want to do. Instead, you want to pull her in more because you feel like it will make things better, right?

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How To Build A Great Relationship With Someone

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build great relationship

So your goal is to build a great relationship with someone, whether that’s your current girlfriend or boyfriend, or someone completely new.

Maybe you’re recently single and you want to know what you need to do going forward so you don’t end up in a toxic relationship once again.

Either way, my advice is very straight forward for this:

Only date someone who is great and makes you want to be great.

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