Taking the "Crazy" Out of Your Relationships
When it comes to relationships, attraction is key (obviously). But I don't think people realize just how important it is. These days, there's a lot of bullshit and misinformation on the internet about what's attractive. Because I like to make it simple, here's my answer: attractiveness is a combination of your physical appearance, your state of mind, and your energy levels. That's it. Get these 3 things right and you'll appear attractive to people until the end of time. I will also add that your physical appearance is easily 70% of the game. All of those self-help "gurus" who talk about being present or approaching women or what to say in this or that situation -- they're just trying to scam you. You MUST focus on your physical appearance and make it #1 until you reach a level that's attracting the people you want.
The keys to a healthy relationship are good mindsets, self-respect, and emotional control.
But, there are a lot of other things that play an important role as well. People have written entire books on these subjects (most of these books suck by the way).
So what role does Rapport play in a relationship?
That’s what I want to quickly talk about in this email, as it does play a role.
One of the more annoying experiences of dating a girl is when she decides to play hard to get.
Or, it at least feels that way.
She’s giving you less attention, she isn’t responding to calls or texts, she doesn’t seem to talk as much as she used to, she isn’t sleeping with you as much, etc.
Why does she behave this way? Does she no longer have feelings for you? Has she met another guy?
I came across an article the other day about how if a man truly loves a woman, he won’t stop pursuing her.
If you’ve read any of my writings before, you’ll know how silly of a statement that is to make. Luckily, this article is on a blog for women so it’s not really designed for men to read.
Those types of websites try to give women good feelings. The author is probably a bitter women who is trying to cope with the pain of being dumped by her ex boyfriend.
One of the most important lessons I teach people is this: you need to give her some space. Let her come back to you on her own terms.
It’s a very simple lesson, yet incredibly difficult to follow if you’re in a codependent relationship.
The reasons for this is obvious: as a codependent, you struggle to be alone. You feel like you need your partner to be with you or else life sucks.
Giving her some space feels like the last thing you want to do. Instead, you want to pull her in more because you feel like it will make things better, right?
So your goal is to build a great relationship with someone, whether that’s your current girlfriend or boyfriend, or someone completely new.
Maybe you’re recently single and you want to know what you need to do going forward so you don’t end up in a toxic relationship once again.
Either way, my advice is very straight forward for this:
Only date someone who is great and makes you want to be great.
Our society is such a joke these days. Get this:
Have you seen that new magazine cover stating how being a beta male shows strength?
I won’t even say what publication this comes from because I don’t want to give them ANY publicity.
But, it’s this programming of the mainstream that has caused men to be weak and fragile.
One of the more common forms of “treatment” for BPD is in the popular DBT therapy (developed by a liberal feminist in Seattle, of course).
Why do I get political about it right from the beginning?
I don’t know. I like to be political, but I also understand that it’s not really a good idea to be getting political when the reader such as yourself is seeking help.
However, I find it important to understand this fact with the approach of DBT therapy, especially when it comes to relationships with a Borderline.