One of the big problems men face these days is this idea that they need to be alpha males in order to get into a great relationship.
The reason this is a problem is because most men take this advice the wrong way and become insecure narcissists that dislike women.
Whether they were always deep down douchebags is a question for another day. What I can certainly tell you is that your mind has the power to create your reality.
Men who are naturally alpha have developed a mindset since birth that has given them great confidence and belief in themselves.
Oh, and the fact that they are probably tall, good looking men.
Just like attractive women, attractive men have it easy. There’s no reason for them not to believe in themselves and be alpha males. They’ve experienced very little rejection and usually get what they want.
A very important factor in happiness and confidence comes from your attractiveness. How attractive are you? How tall are you? Are you athletic and in good shape?
These are very important factors that all these relationship coaches and “experts” seem to ignore. In fact, they even teach their students that looks don’t matter.
Telling people that looks don’t matter is one of the biggest, most deceitful lies anyone could ever tell you.
Because I’m all about speaking TRUTH around here, you better believe me when I say that looks absolutely matter.
I would make the argument that your physical appearance is about 70% of the equation when it comes to developing a confident mentality. That’s how important this factor is.
Taller men are more confident and attractive than shorter men. This is a fact proven true over and over again. But, don’t let this get you down. I’m not trying to make you depressed if you’re short.
I’m simply trying to bring you the facts. If you’re a short, unattractive man, you have a bigger hill to climb. Life will be more difficult for you than your taller colleagues. This is simply the truth.
The reason I’m talking about this is because I have noticed that many men who feel insecure and beta will pay thousands of dollars to these “coaches” to teach them how to be more “alpha.”
These men want to be more confident and ultimately date hot women.
That’s cool and all, but there’s a major disconnect here because these fake coaches will spend about 5 seconds on appearance and 15 hours on “being alpha.”
What ends up happening is that these men become fake, insecure “alphas.” Again, I’ve seen this happen hundreds of times over the years. I see them at parties and events all the time.
As a result, these men end up even worse over time. They’ve spent all this money and time trying to become someone that they’re not. The rejections continue and their anger brews.
What is the issue here? What’s really going on?
I believe the problem is that you feel like you need to be the most alpha in the room. You probably have this false belief that women want the guy who is the “most” alpha.
I don’t blame you for thinking this way because most dating advice you read on the internet is about becoming an “alpha male” because women are attracted to alphas.
However, you’ll often go too far and try to be “too alpha” whenever you’re in social situations. It’s clearly not your real self, and women can see right through it (as can I).
Here’s The Truth About The Whole “Alpha” Thing:
When you behave like a normal man and follow the lessons I write about, you’ll be plenty alpha.
This is because being an alpha male is all about self-respect. This is where it starts. You can’t have an alpha attitude when you don’t have respect for yourself.
Men who are shorter and less attractive have the most difficulty with self-respect because you feel inferior to your peers. This is where you’ll have to work the hardest. It’s going to be a major struggle as I said.
The good news is that the less you think about being “alpha”, the less tryhard and foolish you’ll actually appear.’
In fact, I recommend that you don’t even try to be alpha until you have come to accept and appreciate who you are as an individual. This starts with gratefulness and appreciation.
You won’t find these dating “gurus” talking about this stuff. They’re too busy selling you routines that never work, techniques that don’t last, and mindsets that will get you dumped after a few weeks.
Which further adds to the pain of the ex-beta, now-“alpha” male. You now got a girl, only to be dumped after a few weeks or months. And, it’s probably because you were being too alpha.
Again, I’ve seen that happen over and over again. Sure, it’s great that you’re able to attract women now. But, keeping a partner is an entirely different ballgame.
The stuff I teach is all about attracting and keeping people in your life. This is what has always separated me from everybody else out there. And, this all starts with self-respect.
Going forward, don’t worry about how “alpha” you are. It’s really a waste of mental energy that these “gurus” use to convince you to buy their $2000 coaching program.
If you fail with a girl, these “gurus” can make the excuse that you’re just “not alpha enough.”
But Everybody Gets Rejected Eventually
What you also need to understand is that even the most naturally alpha of men get rejected by women. Good looking alpha males get rejected a lot more than you realize.
However, these natural alphas handle rejection a lot better than all the fake alphas because they don’t let rejection control their thoughts and actions.
In other words, because they’ve had success throughout their lives, a little rejection here and there isn’t enough to alter their state of mind. This is the major difference between natural alpha males and all these fake alphas.
This is why my advice for men is to never try to become an alpha male. Instead, it’s better to focus your energy and effort on developing respect and appreciation for yourself.
You’ll know you’ve accomplished this when you’re no longer affected by the opinions of people and the world. It’s easier said than done of course, but it’s a mandatory path that you must take.
To ignore this advice will lead you down the path of becoming one of those angry incels who hates everybody and blames the world for all your problems.
Rejection is a part of life. Living a healthy life is learning how to not let it affect you. This is very important in relationships because your fear of rejection can cause you to become too codependent, which is a relationship killer.
Nearly every single man that I work with can’t handle rejection. It’s the biggest problem they have and they blame women for their toxic relationships.
It’s a very twisted mindset to have because when you start down that path of blaming women for your problems, you open up a can of worms that can take years to fix.
Plus, it’s just incredibly immature to blame others for problems in your life. The first step to any sort of successes in life is by taking personal responsibility for all problems in your life. It’s the only way to advance forward and make improvements.
The reason society is so divided and crazy these days is because no one takes personal responsibility anymore. It’s just too easy to point fingers at white males or evil christians or gun owners or horrible politicians than to look inward.
Rejection In Intimate Relationships
While you may believe that rejection on dating apps in painful, let me tell you that rejection in an intimate relationship is much worse. If you’ve never had a relationship, then keep reading.
I find it amusing that so many men out there are paying thousands of dollars to learn how to meet and date women.
These men have no idea how much harder it is to actually have a relationship that lasts for more than a few dates. They are in for a world of pain when they realize how much money they spent for something that is only about 1% of the game.
Getting a woman to date you is one thing. But keeping her interested in you is 99% of the actual game.
What these dating “gurus” will never tell you (because they suck at relationships) is that keeping a woman interested in you is much more hands-off than you think.
All of the women I’ve had successful relationships with have truly wanted to be with me for who I am. What this means is that when I’m being my fun, natural self, they truly love that side of me.
This makes things easy because I don’t really have to do anything. I just be me and they love it.
This is why these fake alpha males fail. You are you trying too hard to be this person that isn’t really you. As a result, the women you want to date see through it and eventually reject you for it.
This doesn’t mean that you can become this super needy beta male in your relationship. Obviously, that’s not going to keep her around.
All I’m saying is that when you develop your true confident self, you won’t have to fake this “alpha” attitude to keep her around. Learn how to balance your true self with your non-needy attitude.
If you love anime and video games and geeky shit, be upfront about it. Be proud of it. Don’t try to hide it because it’s “not cool.” Instead, try to date a woman who’s also into that stuff. This way, she can like you for YOU.
If you try to be super alpha and hide your fun, nerdy side, she will soon see through it and you’re going to get rejected after a few weeks. This can be immensely painful if you’ve fallen in love with her.
So embrace who you are. Balance it with the mindsets and attitude that I teach. Only pursue women who are into the same stuff as you so they can like you for you.
This is why you don’t need to learn to be “alpha” beyond the basics. My courses focus on teaching the right attitude and developing self-respect. It’s much deeper than all that dumb guru crap you find all over the internet.
She’ll Reject You For Her Ex If You Get This Wrong
So here’s a sobering story I came across that seems to be all too common these days. This woman (let’s call her Jill) has been dating her boyfriend for almost a year now.
Everything seemed to be going well until… you’ll read about that in a minute. He tells her that he loves her, and she tells him as well. Normal stuff for a relationship going on one year.
Before this relationship, her boyfriend was with a girl for 4 years. He thought he was going to marry her until it came to an end.
He and his ex are still friends. That’s not really surprising seeing how they dated for 4 years.
A couple of weeks ago, his ex and her new boyfriend were in town. So, the boyfriend wanted Jill to come with him and have lunch with the ex.
Jill doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with this, nor should she. Any mature, normal adult can have meals with an ex.
So, Jill and her boyfriend head to the lunch. Everything is going well and they’re all getting along fine. Until…
The ex mentions that her and her boyfriend are engaged! She starts to show off her ring with this huge smile and both she and her boyfriend are visibly happy.
Jill is also happy for her and her man.
But guess who isn’t?
He suddenly becomes quiet and Jill can tell he’s noticeably upset.
Later that evening, Jill notices her boyfriend having one too many drinks in the living room.
She approaches him and can tell he’s upset. He has this look on his face that screams doom and gloom as if the whole world is ending and his life is meaningless.
Jill, being the good girl that she is, asks him if he’s upset about his ex being engaged to her new man. He admits Yes, and that he always thought he would be “the One” to marry her.
He then went on to admit that he is still in love with the ex, and that he had always loved her all this time.
He also admitted that he needed to move on from the ex and focus on loving Jill.
All in all, he gets points for being honest.
But, Jill is obviously devastated by all this. She feels as if her heart has been ripped out and stomped upon. Her fears have been validated (which means she has been sensing his desire for someone else all this time).
She now believes that her boyfriend is only dating her because he can’t have his ex.
So where does she go from here?
The gender doesn’t matter here. This situation can happen to both men and women. Your guy or girl will never get over their ex as long as your mentality is off.
This is the advice I give to ANYONE who is in a relationship with someone who isn’t loving you as much as you want them to:
Jill needs to immediately kill all forms of NEEDINESS she has for her boyfriend.
And, if you’re in a situation similar to this where your partner still has feelings for an ex, you must do the same.
I’m not saying to end the relationship. That’s an extreme route to take. But, you need to kill your neediness and spend time on developing your self-respect. If this means ending the relationship, then so be it.
Because Jill had all these fears about her boyfriend loving his ex, I can guarantee you that she would be needy with him hoping to prove “her love” to him.
People become needy and desperate when they want to win someone over. You start to behave insecurely which is a big turn off.
Can you think of any stupid things you’ve done out of love? Of course you can! We all do stupid things. I’ve done my fair share.
What usually happens when you do things out of fear?
You get no reward whatsoever! Instead, you usually get pushed away even more and hurt in the process.
Your neediness can actually cause your partner to miss his or her ex. That’s how bad needy behavior can be.
So, you need to kill your neediness. This is the only way to actually create love and desire. By being less needy, your partner will find you more valuable in his or her life.
When you’re of higher quality in someone’s mind, they perceive you as being a high value individual and will want you more. There’s actually science behind this as many studies have proven over and over again.
You must develop self-respect. Without respect for yourself, your partner will never get over his or her ex. You will always be “beneath” their previous lover.
This is where my Overcoming Codependency course will be of value to you. It’s 12 chapters of written and audio training which covers neediness, fears and correct communication.
All this will help you deal with these types of situations so you can be in the best position to make your relationship work.