I’m here in my “office” recalling my past when I dated some serious Borderline’s who really took a number on me.
If you’ve been reading my stuff here for awhile now, then you know I’m not some “guru” or some self-proclaimed relationship “expert.”
I’m simply a guy who has a lot of experiences with dating girls with BPD. I originally created this blog in 2010 to write about my experiences and vent, lol.
My very first relationship in my early 20’s was with a Borderline.
At this point in my life, I had no clue what BPD was. I was just in a relationship with a girl who was exciting, hot/cold, highly emotional, unpredictable, etc. All the common Borderline traits I’m sure you’re aware of.
At this time in my life, as a young scally wag with hardly any experience with the ladies, the last thing I wanted was to piss girls off and screw up relationships.
Naturally, whenever my relationships had issues I would blame myself and become the “white knight” to make things better.
I made all the common Borderline relationship mistakes that so many men make without even knowing it. And of course, everything I tried to do to improve the relationship only made it worse.
This is common and I’m sure you can relate.
What’s more important is that because of my early relationships and the crap I allowed myself to go through, these girls indirectly saved my life.
Looking back, I was miserable after getting heart shattered as any man would. I had no sense of purpose because I put everything into these relationships.
Losing the girl of my dreams was the last thing that I ever wanted to happen to me. I clearly didn’t know about the stages of a BPD relationship.
I figured that the only way I’d be able to pull myself out from these deep depressions I was in would be to learn about relationships and dating and all that stuff.
Only problem is everything you read on the internet and in books sucks big time.
I wasted a lot of money on programs and courses and seminars and so on with “gurus” and relationship coaches and all that.
But all I learned were techniques and tactics that only made my relationships worse and worse (and I was still attracting all the crazy girls).
Now I’ve never actually had an issue with talking to girls and getting them interested in me and all that – that part comes easy for me.
The problem I had was keeping the girl interested.
This is a fact that people seem to forget. Men love to spend hour after hour learning how to get the girls. That’s the easy part.
But keeping her? Without her giving you the cold shoulder? Good luck with that if you’re unaware of the principles that keep relationships healthy and long-lasting.
Borderlines get a lot of crap said about them (just do a quick search BPD in Google and you’ll find articles about how “terrible” these people are).
Of course 90% of it is crap written by people who simply don’t know how to date these types of people and communicate efficiently.
These are important skills that keep people in your life, right?
So how did a Borderline save my life?
Well, something I realized with Borderline’s is that when they’re good and loving, they’re amazing. Way better than your average person.
So I thought to myself, “Why can’t I just figure out how to enjoy the good times and keep the bad times to a minimal?”
And that became my mission. Every man needs a mission. A man without a mission is a man who is lost. Never forget.
Everything I learned and developed over the years was all about how to keep the negative drama to a minimum, and the fun, positive, high energy lovin’ to the max.
I’m sure the reason you’re here is because you know how good your relationship can be when it’s good, right?
So that became my mission. It’s what gave me purpose when I had none.
The best part is that the relationship system I developed over the years is always growing and evolving because we live in a rapidly changing society.
Our society is going through some insanely quick changes these days.
Much of the reasons why I failed in my previous relationships was simply because I wasn’t staying “caught up” with the new rules of relationships.
Now I make it part of my daily mission to stay ahead of all the games and everything else people are doing (for example, Tinder was great in 2013, and now it’s horrible).
The world of dating & relationships is evolving faster than ever.
It’s absolutely key that you make sure you’re learning the best, most up-to-date information when it comes to Borderline relationships.
The Keeper Of Your Soul
The best part about being a one-man operation here since I started this website several years ago is that I’m able to keep the quality high and consistent.
I can filter out the hateful comments, I write what’s on my mind and what I feel is important, and I can also write about whatever the heck I want (even if it pisses people off).
But don’t worry, this isn’t one of my troll posts. I’m here to help you and provide value to your life because that’s my mission in life (you do have a mission, right?).
Check out this comment that was recently shared from a member inside of my Relationship Academy:
“Let go. Learn to enjoy women and people and relationships without the massive attachment. She is not the keeper of your soul.”
I about shed a tear when I read that.
And this is absolutely the truth.
One of the most important lessons you’ll ever learn, especially if you’re dating someone who seems ‘crazy’ in your eyes, is this:
Your partner can never love you more than you love yourself.
This is a major important relationship truth bomb that explains a lot of the problems you may be having.
If you’re a man, understand that your woman is looking at you as the leader.
If a woman has to start leading the relationship, she’ll do it. And she’ll start giving you space because she doesn’t want you around.
She’s going to nag you, give you shit, stop talking to you as much, stop having sex with you and then leave you. A woman doesn’t stick around with weak men.
This is why understanding the basic, instinctual attraction triggers is incredibly important (in my humble, but accurate, opinion).
While society has evolved and changed over the years, our instincts haven’t at all.
What men and women were attracted to thousands of years ago is still the case today.
Men like a good looking girl.
And women like a dude who is strong willed and dope as hell. And also masculine.
This is how it’s always been since the beginning of time.
These days, a woman simply tests a man for his strength through giving him shit.
She’s purposely going to give you some verbal jabs and throw you off to see how you respond.
Depending on how aware you are of this and how developed as a man you are, you’ll either pass or fail.
If you pass, you enjoy many nights of naked spooning with some bumpin’ and grindin’.
If you fail, she loses attraction for you and eventually leaves.
It’s really as simple as that. And in this feminist society we live in, you won’t hear much about these truths.
It’s as if society would rather keep us dumb and blind than happy. It really doesn’t make any sense.
But the game is much easier for men who understand these truths about relationships because there are so few of us left in the world.
You can learn about these “Attraction Triggers” in one of my podcast episodes inside of the Academy that I linked to up above. Check it out if this is something you want to learn.
Do It Regardless Of The Way The Wind Blows
The lesson I want to talk about today is the idea of doing what you want to do.
I call it Integrity.
It’s really the idea of being consistent with who you are.
And believe it or not, consistency is one of the most important attractive attributes that you can have.
So many people spend all their time thinking about how to stop a break up. And I get it because I used to be there.
But it’s insanity to do so because you end up forgetting about your own well-being, which as a result you lose all sense of consistency.
When women gather up in a circle, they start talking about how consistent their boyfriends are. This is really what they do.
They gather together and they talk you and whether you’re being a “good” boyfriend or not (which is another of saying if you’re consistent).
They start talking about how great you are in bed, what you do for them as a provider, how you make them feel, if you’re taking care of yourself, and so on.
If a woman feels that you’re not enough for her, then you’re out. And it’s really how consistent you are in the relationship.
One of the most important lessons that I always teach men is that they need to start doing things with a new attitude.
You need to be like “Yo, I’m an awesome dude and I’m doing this because I want to.”
And if she’s giving you some diversion to throw you off track, just ignore it.
Go about your business. Put yourself first.
One of the best lessons that people always tell me is this idea of self-respect.
Of putting yourself first.
Of setting boundaries.
It’s the realization that you are your own person and your partner is actually turned on by that.
When you start doing things for YOU, your partner will start working WITH you to make the relationship better.
But as I said above: if you’re consistent with who you are, then your partner isn’t going to do shit for you. And that’s the bottom line because good ol’ Rick said so!