The other day, I came across an article that talked about why single women are happier than women in relationships.
The author tried to make the argument than the longer a woman is single, the happier she will become.
So, I’m going to give my own take on this subject and give you the truth about women and relationships.
I will give the author some credit. She states that a lot of women end up unhappy in relationships due to having shitty boyfriends. I agree with this statement.
The reality is that in this day and age, relationships are worse than ever before. You can thank all that social conditioning that’s been brainwashing us since we were little infants.
Therefore, it’s no surprise that a lot of men and women feel that it’s better to be single. And, this is partially true for a lot of people. It is a good idea to be single for a period of time while you grow.
Let’s discuss the topic of relationship codependency for a minute. It’s easily the biggest issue men and women deal with in relationships. If you’re struggling to make your relationship work, it’s often due to some sort of codependency you have.
While a lot of people visit my site for help with BPD relationships, I strongly believe that codependency is a bigger problem than most people realize.
In fact, most people don’t even know what codependency is until they hear about it from me. Then they do their own research on Google, read a ton of articles, and come to the conclusion that it’s a very serious problem.
And that’s good! That’s how research works. It’s why I always encourage people to not blindly trust what I say.
Do your own research and come to your own conclusions. I will always be here teaching codependency and BPD for you to come back to.
If you want, I can email you my free Codependency guide. It’s about 4 pages long and you can read it on your own time. There’s nothing to download, either as everything is in the email.
That was a lengthy introduction of sorts. But, it’s important if you’re a single woman or a woman in a relationship. Either way, there’s a few more specific topics I want to discuss with you.
Most Women Don’t Understand Love
The biggest misconception women (and men) have is this idea of Love. Hollywood, the media, corporations and celebrities have sold this fantastical idea of what “True Love” is.
However, like everything these giant machines teach us, it’s completely wrong and goes against human nature.
Understand: it is NOT natural to have a codependent mindset or belief system.
Yet all these romance movies, love stories, music and more have been force-feeding codependent thinking to society for decades.
This false idea of love has resulted in a society where millions of people really believe that “true love” is about sacrificing everything for your partner, going above and beyond for him or her, turning into a pushover, and giving up your own dreams.
That is what ends up happening when you subscribe to the mainstream belief system. You won’t even realize how much of a softy you’ve become until it’s too late.
Next thing you know, you’re 46 years old and single because that abusive boyfriend you’ve been trying to change for 10 years has only become worse.
Sticking around out of hope that things will get “better” has nothing to do with love — it’s your own selfish, warped mindset that’s to blame.
Don’t feel bad. Like I said, you’ve been lied to your entire life. It’s society that’s to blame. All you can do now is open yourself up to the truth and stumble forward.
The reality is that most men and women will never experience true love. This is because love is NOT something you seek in others.
True love is something that comes from within. It’s a selfless vibe that you naturally give off. And, only those that deserve the love you carry will be able to recognize it.
This is why it’s incredibly easy to tell if you’re in a loving relationship: does your boyfriend appreciate all the love you do for him? Is he even aware of all this love you’re giving off?
If the answer is no, and he just treats you like crap over and over again, then it’s pretty obvious that you’re dating a guy who doesn’t have much love for himself.
It’s impossible to give love and be in a loving relationship when you don’t have love for yourself.
Never forget this statement. This truth is why the codependent mindset is so painful. The codependent tries so very hard to open up their partner to love.
But, because love isn’t something you can create out of thin air, your efforts will always fail because your partner has deep wounds that only he can heal on his own before he’s able to love himself (and thus love you).
Pretty deep stuff. But, it’s the truth and you need to be aware of it if you want to find happiness in relationships.
A relationship with true love will always be better than being single. But, it’s rare to find that true love. So, feel free to remain single until you find someone great.
Are You Comfortable In Your Own Skin?
That article I was reading about women being single makes a very broad statement about how single women are comfortable with who they are.
This is the biggest load of BS ever because nearly everybody these days is NOT happy with themselves.
It’s hard to be happy when everyone you look at on social media seems to have a better life than you. Everybody is posting their “fun” adventures, their best angles, best outfits and more.
As a result, men and women today are more unhappy than any other time period before us. Civilization is great and all, but the mental well-being of humanity is at an all-time low.
So I 100% disagree with this author. However, it is (obviously) true that being comfortable in your own skin and having a high level of self-worth makes you a happy person. No one would ever disagree with this statement.
The problem is actually becoming comfortable in your own skin. Like I said, it’s really tough when everybody else is pretending they’re amazing.
It should be evident by now that you need to remove yourself from all things social media. You need to stop comparing yourself to others for a period of time while you focus on yourself.
I promise that if you spend 90 days away from social media completely, you’ll be a much happier person full of love, ready for a real relationship.
As a result, you’ll be giving off a really great vibe. Hopefully you’ll have spent these 90 days working on your codependency issues as well.
There’s no such thing as an “instant” solution in life. Anything worth having takes time. This applies to relationships, careers, hobbies, etc. It doesn’t matter what it is that you’re working towards.
That’s why consistency because the most important trait you can develop. Consistency creates habit. We humans are creatures of habit. When you consistently teach yourself new mindsets and behaviors, you’ll slowly change for the better. And it’s permanent.
If you’re interested in taking a deep dive into all things codependency, check out my Overcoming Codependency course. There’s 12 chapters with written and audio training.
It’s designed to be consumed daily at a consistent rate. So don’t rush through it. We’re trying to build new habits and move you towards becoming a person who’s strong, independent and no longer a pushover.
This takes time. But, once you develop this stuff, you’ll no longer be treated with disrespect. You won’t stand for it. You’ll truly love yourself and feel that you’re ENOUGH.
This is a mindset that’s sorely missing from society today. You’ll be on a level that most people never find throughout their entire lifetime.
Thanks for reading and I hope I’ve been able to open up your mind a bit today. Feel free to comment below with your thoughts.