Originally written by Shark on May 26, 2010
Here’s a list of things you should start doing TODAY. As everyone knows, becoming “Alpha” is a lifelong journey. It’s more of a metaphor for becoming the best person you can be. Confidence, passion, ambition, and success are but a few Alpha Male qualities. I don’t know if there’s any book or article that really captures everything you should do to become Alpha, but here are a few steps that you should initiate NOW. Afterwards, read the article on Alpha vs Beta Males and highlight things you might be doing wrong that you can change.
(1) STOP making excuses. If you plan on doing something, DO IT. Make it a life goal of yours to never make another excuse. If you don’t do something, it’s because you chose not to do it. Don’t blame your failure on external factors.
(2) Join a Gym. Get a torn physique. If you feel good about yourself, it will show.
(3) Find a competitive activity that you like and become the BEST at it. Whether it’s basketball or chess, just find something that you’re passionate about and pursue it. As your confidence in an activity grows, it will spillover to confidence in other areas. It’s not a coincidence that most Alpha Males are the best at what they do.
(4) VISUALIZE success. If you want a great paying job, visualize all the things that come with it. An expensive car, the dignity, everything. Visualizing can be thought of as a mental exercise, like meditating. Visualize the path to success, the things you have to do, the things you will achieve, everything.
(5) Indulge in Art. And by art, I don’t mean just finger painting. Read, paint, listen to music, write poetry, everything.
(6) Find out what the major focus point of your life right now is. Most likely, it’s your career or school. Then, figure out a way to get explosive success. If you’re in school, get a 4.0. Climb the corporate ladder of your job as fast as possible. If you’re at a dead end job, save up and start a business. Go back to school; get a license for something else. Don’t settle for the bare minimum, ever.
(7) Approach EVERY SINGLE PERSON you meet. Get out of your comfort zone of talking to the same people every day. Talk to EVERYONE you see or get a chance to talk too. This will rid you of approach anxiety, social phobias, and greatly increase your conversational skills. The more people you talk to, the more enriched you will be and the more of an interesting person you will be yourself.
(8) Get out of your comfort zone. Read the article on this for more specifics. Basically, just make changes in your life. Don’t fall into the same daily routine. One of the key traits of an Alpha Male is ADAPTABILITY. He can adapt to every environment, no matter how challenging or alien it is to him.
(9) STOP watching television, playing video games, excessively masturbating, etc. Get a social life, go to a club, approach girls, work on your career, exercise, just do anything productive besides this. If you need to relax, then relax. Have a beer with your friends. But try and withdraw from your dependence on video games and television for entertainment.
(10) CHALLENGE YOURSELF. Set goals and reach them. Become a black belt, learn to play an instrument, anything. Just challenge yourself and tear down every obstacle that keeps you from your goals.
Rick’s Thoughts on Developing Alpha Male Qualities
Keep in mind that this article was written in 2010. A lot has changed in our culture, but most of what Shark has said still rings true. So I’ll go through each point and add my own comments.
1) Absolutely you must stop making excuses. Not taking responsibility has become the norm in modern society. It’s much too easy to point the fingers and blame Trump or anyone else for the problems in your life. This is what everybody does and it’s no wonder that most people are unhappy.
When you make excuses and blame other people for the problems in your life, you set yourself up for a codependent life, a life where you’re dependent on others to make you happy, be successful, etc. This goes against everything that I teach. And, the more emotional you are, the more you’ll fall.
2) Being healthy and working out is very important. However, it’s not that easy to get “shredded” or build a lot of muscle. In fact, it’s basically impossible to get big and lean without some sort of steroids or TRT. I’ve been working out for nearly 6 years as a natural and I’ve never been “shredded” or big and muscular. It’s just not possible without some sort of outside substance to assist you.
Therefore, workout and be healthy because you want to do it. Don’t do it because you want girls to like you. Do it because you’re tired of being fat or weak. You can still lose a lot of weight and get strong without drugs. You just won’t look like all those “natural” instagram fitness models. And that’s okay.
3) Finding purpose in life is one of the hardest things in life. This is what women mean when they say they want a guy who is “passionate” about something. She simply is saying that she wants a man who has purpose and pursues it on a daily basis. It must be independent of your relationships. Your purpose cannot be to “make your relationship better.” That’s a temporary purpose.
Your purpose needs to be something that benefits YOU and you only. Other people around you might reap the benefits, but you pursue your purpose because you genuinely enjoy it and get pleasure from it. It must be an activity you do on your own.
Find your purpose and pursue it relentlessly like a true Alpha male. This one factor is what truly separates the winners of the world from the losers.
4) Of course visualization is important. But, it’s not nearly as important as some people make it out to be. As long as you know what you want and you go after it, your chances of success shoot way up. Therefore, it’s very important that you take the time to sit and think about where you’re going.
Are you making progress? Have you been moving forward or stumbling backwards? Are you getting distracted by a relationship or other’s? These are important things to think about.
5) Over the past 6 years, culture has exploded. Social media has brought art and culture to new levels. If you’re not at the forefront of the culture, you’re not at the forefront of what’s attractive and what isn’t. Therefore, spend time studying modern day culture. It’s really important to find out what’s cool and what isn’t.
The importance of this becomes even more apparent as you start to date and socialize with people. As someone who’s been at the forefront of the culture game for over 15 years, it’s incredibly boring for me when I date a woman who doesn’t know much about culture. She’s a “basic bitch” as they say. And it’s the worst kind of woman to date.
A lot of attractive women are very knowledgeable when it comes to culture. They’re on social media all the time following all these culture icons. As a result, a lot of men get dumped and cheated on because the women become bored of YOU. They meet a guy who knows a little bit more about what’s cool and attractive, so they can’t help but want that man.
I can’t stress how important this part is. But, it’s also dependent on the type of woman you want. If all you want is a woman who wears lululemon and the highlight of her day is having a glass of wine, then don’t come crying to me when she starts doing things that piss you off and annoy you to no end. Because that’s what these types of women do. The less cultured a woman, the more naggy and crazy she’ll be. No one talks about this (because they don’t know this) but it’s the truth.
6) Not much to say about this. You should of course try to be the best. That’s what winners do. They work hard to become the best at what they do.
7) Things have changed a lot since 2010. I don’t believe approaching every single person is an effective way to meet women and get better at socializing. Some people just don’t like to socialize. I don’t like socializing. I NEVER approach strangers. Ever. The last time I approached a woman might have been in 2012 when it was “cool” to do so.
Things have changed. All the women I’ve dated over the past 5 years made it VERY easy for me to talk to. They either messaged me first, or introduced themselves to me at a party or event.
The reason for this is because of everything I wrote in point number 5 above about the culture. Women who are cool and attractive are at the forefront of the culture. When they see me, they know that I am also at the forefront of the culture. Therefore, they know we have something to connect with before they even meet me.
This makes it very easy for women to approach and want to know you. They become curious about who I am. I’ve been saying for years that generating curiosity is probably the strongest thing you can do. In marketing, it’s often taught that creating curiosity is more important than anything else. This is the same when it comes to dating and relationships.
Being mysterious and creating curiosity will get you better relationships than anything else you do. The more a woman thinks about you, the more she is going to want you. So how do you get yourself in her head? You do this by being mysterious and creating curiosity. And it’s very easy to do this when you and her are on the same page.
So again, if you just want a basic bitch who loves lululemon and drinking wine, then you can dress up like all the other guys in the bar wearing a shirt featuring your favorite football team, a beer, and waiting until you’re drunk enough to approach. Have fun with your toxic, BPD relationship :)
8) Shark mentions adaptability here and I love it. I’ve been talking about being adaptable for a long time now. That’s really a key factor to being a man. You MUST be able to adapt to situations. Especially when it comes to relationships. Most men can’t adapt when it comes to women and they lose her as a result of it.
Or they become a whiny, bitchy boy. Which obviously is the biggest turnoff of them all. And it’s what pushes your woman into the arms of another man.
Even if you stay silent, she can sense your vibe and body language of being a sad boy. No matter what, it’s always better to give off that masculine alpha vibe. It will always be better even if it’s “toxic masculinity.” Anything is better than a woman seeing you as a beta male.
An alpha male knows how to adapt and keep the stronger hand.
9) I definitely agree about turning the TV off and to stop jacking off. But a lot has changed when it comes to video games. There are plenty of hot, attractive women that play video games. One of the women I’m dating loves video games and that’s cool with me. We play together and it’s fun to dominate her in games.
Most young men and women today grew up with video games. That’s just the truth of it. If you’re dating someone in their 20’s, chances are they play video games. So it’s okay if you enjoy this form of entertainment as well. Just don’t let it take away any of these other points I’ve mentioned.
For example, if you choose to keep playing Red Dead Redemption 2 instead of going to the gym, then that’s a problem. Video games should be something you do as a short break, or with your girlfriend. Nothing more than that.
They can also be an artform that you pursue. I know a guy who is a successful video game developer and he has one of the most attractive girlfriends ever. Sure, she’s probably dating him because he’s worth millions, but it was his passion for creating art that led to his success in designing a PC game that has sold over 10 million copies that has made him wealthy. Just another example of how successful people pursue their purpose.
10) This ties above. Challenging yourself is obviously important. You can’t become a successful video game developer if you don’t challenge yourself and rise above all the other mediocre games out there. Did you know that something like 50 new games release every single day? It’s some crazy high number like that. Only a fraction of these games will be considered a success.
And it’s because 99% of game developers don’t challenge themselves to create something great. Instead, they’re so focused on releasing their half-finished game hoping to make some sales and get lucky.
But they never get lucky. They ALWAYS fail. And this same mentality can be said about any other field or industry. Only the ones who challenge themselves and rise above the others find success.
It’s SO easy to just half-ass things and be mediocre. It’s human nature to be mediocre. This is why only a small percentage of people are considered “alpha” males. Only a small percentage have the discipline and patience to challenge themselves for the long haul and beat everybody else.
If you’re going to do something, do it well. Be patient. Don’t release a product that is just good. It’s not good enough, trust me. This is especially true if you’re in a market that has a lot of competition.
This mentality is what will make your relationships great. As long as your woman thinks of you as great, you will never have drama or problems in the relationship. Thus why you must always be challenging yourself and pursuing your passion at a high level.