If you’re trying to master your emotions and gain control over your thoughts and feelings, then read on.
1) Humans are emotional beings. They are what drives us day by day.
2) A weak emotional state can be easily controlled by others.
3) Start to pave your own path in life.
4) Learn to love the most powerful word in the world: NO.
5) Interdependence is key. Dependence leads to suffering.
6) Cut out the toxic people in your life.
7) Forgive the past, drop grudges, and move on with your life.
8) End any attention-seeking behavior you may have.
Emotions suck. Emotions are amazing. Wait… wtf am I getting at?
Oh… emotions are up and down! Duh. And learning how to master and control your emotions is key to enjoying a successful, fulfilling life full of joy and relationships.
I feel like emotional control is one of life’s crucial skills that separates the weak from the strong.
It only makes sense that we keep learning about how to master our emotions.
The skill of gaining control of your emotions is not an easy one. As humans, our emotions do and should play a major role in our lives. For good or for bad is where the skill part becomes important.
If you live a life where you’re consistently rules by your emotional state, then you’re going to live a life of ups and down, rarely ever having any sort of lifestyle that’s consistent.
Your relationships will be chaotic, your circle of friends is probably full of similar people, your long-term goals are always in a fog.
Today I bring you 8 ways that will help you get on the path to mastering these emotions. These skills are what separate the successful from everybody else.
Spend the time to work on being a master of your emotions and you’ll reap the benefits.
1. Emotions Are What Drive Us
As I said above, it’s our emotions that make us human. The more emotional someone is, it’s usually the more exciting yet chaotic their live is.
I don’t want you thinking that you need to suppress your emotions. This just wouldn’t be human. After all, it’s our emotions that drive us and motivate us to move.
The key here is where you’re going to move to. Which direction are you going to take? Are you going to head towards making a right choice or a wrong choice? This is where control becomes a big factor.
The more you’re able to accept the chaos and take a step back, the more prepared you’ll be for making a forward-moving choice. Don’t be that person that reacts negatively, making a poor choice and running into the ground.
2. Don’t Let Other’s Control Your Emotional State
This rule applies to everybody that has those pesky, negative friends and family that always tend to bring you down. The reason why this rule plays a vital role in our lives is because words do matter and can be like a sharp knife slowly digging into your skin.
Now it’s really easy for people to just tell you to not listen to your critics. I don’t really advise that because the only time that criticism affects you is when it’s from those that are important to you, even for just a few moments.
The fact that you do get affected by other people is because you probably care about these people. If you’re dating someone that consistently brings you down, then it makes perfect sense that those words hurt you.
So this rule is a very difficult one to master, probably the hardest of them all. What I usually coach people is to instead focus on the bigger picture here: Why are they wasting their time to bring you down?
The most likely answer is that these people got nothing better to do, they aren’t satisfied with their own lives, they get temporary joy out of making people feel shitty, etc.
I find for me that when you focus on the bigger picture, it’s MUCH easier to ignore the hate coming your way. If you’re dating someone with abandonment issues for example, these hateful words are from a much deeper, inner fear that’s simply being projected onto you.
3. Do Your Own Thing. And Own It
When I have hate coming my way, I’m very good at figuring out who it’s coming from and if it’s credible or not. If I’m getting hate from someone that’s not even close to my level, then it’s not going to affect me at all.
If I’m getting hate from someone on my level or above, then I will take a closer look at it. Why?
Because often times when someone that’s actually on your level or better than you, the criticism can be used to make adjustments in your own life. I see it as an opportunity for me to improve.
Someone that’s saying things out of hate and jealousy obviously isn’t going to be above me – only people lower than you say things like this. So this let’s me know that if I’m getting a lot of hate for doing what I love, then it must mean I’m doing the right thing! I own it.
If I’m getting criticism from those above me, then I use that criticism to make adjustments and see where I can improve. It’s a win-win.
This is why for relationships I always try to date someone that’s working hard like me, moving forward, loves growing, etc. because any criticism I get from this person is going to be criticism I won’t take lightly. It can help me improve myself and grow.
This is why relationships are truly about TEAMWORK.
4. Learn To Say ‘NO’
Nearly every person with codependency symptoms have a lot of trouble speaking up, saying NO and sticking with it. You might be able to say NO once or twice, but after some more persuading, you give in.
Salesmen LOVE dealing with people like this because they know that they can get you to buy what they offer at a price that gives THEM a fat commission.
Relationships also suffer heavily for codependents because you become a pushover. You’re dominated in an emotional state where your needs are never fulfilled. You think you’re being a loving partner, but you’re actually damaging the relationship further because you aren’t being honest with yourself and your partner.
I used to work for a successful business owner and one of the best lessons he taught me early on was to simply learn to say no to people. It didn’t matter who. He told me to tell my friends no, my family no, my girlfriends no until I broke free of this desire to please.
It was a great lesson from an entrepreneur because he knew that even for business, learning to say no is one of the most powerful negotiating moves.
5. Don’t Try To Fit In. Be Inspired, But Not Dependent
We really live in an interesting society today. As I mention over and over again in my DETOX book(which you can get for free by filling in your email in the form below this article), we are in the information age.
What this means is that everybody has access to loads of information. We can follow celebrities, fashion icons, professionals, masters, etc. and peer into their lives.
There’s nothing wrong with this and in fact, I encourage you to find people that inspire you, motivate you and push you to grow and evolve.
The problem is when you start to depend on people to push you forward. A lot of people make the mistake and date because they’re lonely, they’re stuck, they need excitement, inspiration, motivation, etc.
This is an issue because instead of being independent and growing on your own, you begin to place the responsibility of growth onto somebody else.
As much as some guys think that they’re job is to ‘save’ or ‘fix’ women, the reality is that her dependence on you will wear you down. This emotional state will cause all of your thoughts to fixate on your partner and pleasing them. Your relationship is doomed at that point.
6. Have A Good ‘People Filter’
Socially, you don’t want to be so easy to let people into your life. Having a good filtering system will come through experience. The more you’re around people, the more you’ll know who and who not to let close.
Being independent is healthy for your emotions. I just want you to understand that. There’s nothing wrong with being single and moving yourself forward.
The thing to watch out for during this single time is when your emotional state falls into the bored and lonely trap. This will happen at certain times because going to bed alone can get, well, lonely after awhile.
This is why women have slumber parties with all their single friends, lol. Quality women know that it’s much better to get together with their friends and sleep over than to call up an ex or a random guy out of loneliness.
Being able to filter certain people out of your life is a great skill to have. When you get these feelings of loneliness, use this as an opportunity to work on yourself whether it’s a hobby, a project, preparing for an event, writing a blog, whatever. Use this time to be productive.
Don’t use it to swipe through Tinder or look at porn or browse for escorts. Hoe’s make their money off the bored and lonely. This is real talk.
7. Forgive and Drop Grudges
Next rule is the all-important rule of forgiveness. I can’t stress how important the process of forgiving is for moving forward and living a happy, fulfilling life.
Holding onto the past and never really letting go of these deep feelings will only bring you further harm down the road. These feelings will burrow themselves deep within you and fester for years and years, only to creep back and cause chaos.
By holding a grudge, you give up power over your emotions. There will come a point in time when something will happen that may trigger some sort of outburst or reaction that you’ll greatly regret.
Don’t let this become a factor. Take care of your future now by forgiving and letting things go. It’s not an easy process and something you may have to remind yourself to do for some time until you’re free of it.
8. Stop Seeking Attention
I bet it’s great to have thousands and thousands of Instagram followers, but here’s the thing… if all your pictures are of you being pretty damn petty and attracting thirsty men by the thousands, then this isn’t really doing you much good.
At the end of the day, you’ll probably just end up with some guy who’s sees you as some piece of meat rather than what’s beyond all the glitz and glamour. And if you’re find with that, then this rule won’t apply.
The point I’m making here is that if you are going to seek attention, it needs to be in ways that actually gathers the attention of like-minded individuals, people that inspire you, motivate you and push you forward. This is a common theme you’re noticing.
When you’re needy in life, people don’t respect you. It doesn’t really matter what you’re needy about. People ultimately respect those of us that are independent, have a will to succeed, motivated to win, etc.
Remember that you attract what you project. If you’re the needy type, you’re going to end up with a partner that’s needy as well. And believe me, this gets old very fast.
Whew, that was long! I hope you enjoyed it and that I’ve given you something to think about going forward. To close out this article, I would like to say that you have the power of CHOICE.
Remember this. As important as emotions are for us, the ability to make DECISIONS and CHOOSE is the other gift given to us humans. What you do with that choice is entirely up to you.
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What’s your experience trying to master your emotions? Have you gained control over your thoughts and feelings? Share in the comments below.
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