As much as I enjoy helping my fellow man, I don’t forget about my women readers.
Nearly half of my readership are women. Which is really great because I’ve been coaching both men and women for years.
I’m glad I can help improve the dating and relationships for women. If I can help a woman meet an amazing man, then I’ve done my job.
In today’s article, I want to write a post that’s geared towards the women. I really value my women readers and want to help them out just as much as my fellow man.
But before we jump into the goodies, I want you to grab this free mini-guide I’ve created that’s a good companion to this article.
It’s all about the #1 mistake that women (and men) make in relationships which cause your partner to leave you. Super important read!
Got the report? Good job, my lady! Because it’s really important and I guarantee it will help out your life.
Anyway, this article is good for both men and women. If you’re a man, pay attention to the qualities I’m going to list here and see how you can add these to your life.
And if you’re a woman, you need to be patient and make sure that the men you want have these qualities. Time will always reveal the answers so always keep that in mind.
1. His Focus Is On His Growth and Improvement
To me, this is the number quality that you should always be looking for in a man. If he’s got a purpose that goes beyond work and beers with the boys and happy hours and hiking on the weekends, then he’s on the right track.
If his purpose is simply come home from work, relax on the couch, watch reruns of Mad Men and then pass out, he’s not really the type of man that’s going to get things done.
He might be charming and fun in the beginning, but after a while, this gets old fast. The relationship is the same exact thing over and over, year after year with no form of evolution.
Men that get caught up in these average lifestyles struggle to make it anywhere in life. They think that going to work and supporting the family is deserving of love and a good relationship.
But its 2015 and most of you women know how that doesn’t really fly anymore. There’s a lot more to life than work and money.
The men that I make friends with are the men that are carving their own path in life. Even if they work a 9 to 5, they still have projects on the side that they love, things that they pursue that go beyond work.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that quality men are physically active all the time. If a man is pursuing his hobby of graphic design, he’s going to be glued to his computer all the time.
But I still highly respect that because he’s a man that’s working on his skills, improving his craft and pursuing his passion.
2. He’s Open and Honest About Himself
In an age where most people just don’t have goals and dreams anymore, it’s hard to find men that are open and honest about themselves.
When your life revolves the bar or club scene on the weekends, it’s hard to really know what your genuine side is like.
In most cases, the man doesn’t even know what his genuine self is like. The less you actually know yourself, the less genuine you be. Your life ends up being built around a facade and your relationships end up being built from these foundations as well.
A big reason why relationships are so crappy these days is because most people just don’t have that knowledge of who they are. Their dreams and goals are fuzzy if they even have any. They don’t know themselves any better than you do.
So, their life revolves around trying to impress everybody else and gain approval because that’s all they really know.
On the other hand, when you have a man that enriches his mind, who has spent time figuring himself out and achieving goals, he’s got a damn good idea of who he is and the journey he’s on.
It’s these men that you’ll run into who give off that natural, optimistic vibe. They’ve got that energy that just draws you in.
It’s the power of your inner being. When you’re a man that’s worked on your inner self, you’ve got that self-respect, self-worth and self-love that simply radiates. And people can sense it.
On the other hand, you’ve got men that will spend hours trying to fake this energy. And some inexperienced women will be fooled by it.
This is why if you’re a woman, you need to be patient and see if a man really is naturally genuine and true to himself.
3. He Isn’t A Pushover
A pushover is really just the result of a man who doesn’t have respect for himself. It’s from these 2 points above in that he really doesn’t know himself or his wants.
He’s been lucky enough to find him in a position with a woman he likes, and he’ll do anything to keep that situation from going bad.
What ends up happening is that the woman will soon learn that she can run all over him. And if she’s got insecurity issues of her own, she’ll take advantage of this for a bit until a new, fresh man comes into her life.
But this problem goes beyond women. A man that is a pushover will be easily influenced at his work into doing things he doesn’t want to do.
These types of men have a very hard time saying NO to other people. They are people-pleasers because they want everybody to like him – even people that he doesn’t know!
It’s the most irrational way of thinking but it is what it is.
Women have an easy way of filtering these men out. All she has to say is that she loves cupcakes, and if the guy says “Me too! We should get some!” then she knows she has a potential pushover in the making.
Experienced women are very good at filtering these men out. But insecure, needy women will take their chances. They are lonely after all.
These men are horrible partners because they never do anything that they want to do. They never lead, they never take charge, they never make the woman feel like a woman.
4. Trust and Commitment Must Be Earned
A man that has a tough time saying no will never understand the value in the quality of commitment.
Instead of commitment, the ‘yes man’ will just fully commit almost from the beginning. He’ll believe he’s in love with you within a few weeks, he’ll become obsessive, he’ll worry if you don’t text him back within 30 minutes.
These men don’t have any respect for themselves and thus they never learn how to build the trust and commitment that’s required in healthy relationships.
A man that respects himself knows that relationships are about earning each other’s trust. There can’t even be any commitment until this trust is earned.
As a woman, I’m sure you’ve come across men that just seemed hard to figure out. They were mysterious, but something about them made you want to know them. They gave off that positive vibe which just drew you near.
These types of men are the usually the opposite of the men that are approaching girl after girl. They don’t need to approach because they don’t need women. They don’t really care about getting laid all the time.
Yet these men never have trouble meeting and dating women. Why? Because as I’m sure you know, you’ll put yourself in a position to meet these men. I see this happen all the time. It happens to me all the time.
Trust must be earned. It can’t be freely given. Commitment takes time and is not something you earn just because you’ve been sleeping around with someone.
5. He Inspires You To Grow and Improve Yourself
You know you’re with a great man when you feel inspired to improve your life when you’re with him. This is the major sign that you’ve got a keeper.
I owe a lot of my relationship success to this one quality because I am always inspiring people to improve – not just women I like, but all people. Friends, family, guys and girls.
This is what becomes much more attractive than anything else in a man. He’s not afraid to point out your flaws, he’s not afraid to encourage you to do better and make improvements.
He wants you to improve yourself because he knows that self-improvement and growth is the only way to feel fulfilled with your own life.
The only way you can gain self-respect and self-worth is to work on yourself and grow. These men know that. And these men know that when you do this, it will only make the relationship that much better.
Like I said, time always reveals the truth. I always find it amusing when I look back on women I used to date. Often times, these women go back to their old ways before they met me.
They’re back to dating average, common men with no growth and it shows in her own life as well. It’s sad and amusing at the same time as it shows how much of a direct influence the people you date have on you.
So I always encourage women to find a man that is about growth and improvement. This will rub off on you and inspire you to grow and improve as well.
6. He Appreciates You
A man of quality isn’t going to date a woman that he doesn’t appreciate. Understand that he has the experience to know what he wants. So if he’s dating you, it means he appreciates you.
And this goes beyond just the way you look. Whether it’s your independent nature, your work ethic, your growth minded way of thinking, your positive outlook on life, etc., he’s glad to be with you.
It’s important that when you date a man, you don’t change your way of living. You should always be moving forward with a focus on your own well-being.
A man of quality understands how important this level of independence is and he won’t get insecure or lonely or whatever to stop you on your path.
He knows how important growth is and he respects this part of you. He truly appreciates you for you and it’s important you realize this.
So don’t change who you are just because you’re now dating this new man. Keep being the person he got to know the first night he met you.
7. He Loves The Way You Look
Like I was saying above, he’s going to appreciate the person he met on that first night. If you go and start drastically changing your look, like chopping off your hair for example, this could definitely cause some sort of conflict.
It sounds petty but I have seen many relationships change because the woman decided to completely change up her look.
Now there’s nothing wrong with you doing what you want to do with your look. It’s your body, your hair, your life. You should do what you want.
But the weakness of men is beauty. That is out manly weakness. And when our woman drastically alters her appearance, it can definitely cause changes.
So my advice is that if you’re planning anything drastic to your appearance that you at least talk to your man about it, explain your reasoning and show him the bigger picture of things. He’ll be fine with this since he appreciates the big picture anyway.
And as always, keep wearing yoga pants and sweatpants and lounge on the couch. This is always fun and cute as well.
And makeup is overrated.
A good sense of humor helps as well.
Worried that you aren’t funny? It’s okay. There’s a lot more to life than just trying to be cute and funny.
That’s where I unload all my non-boring wit. After I’ve taken a few shots of espresso.