Today I want to discuss the topic of why people cheat in relationships without singling out men or women.
According to this study on cheating, men still cheat more but women are starting to creep up there. Keep in mind, however, that this study is based on people that actually admit to the cheating.
If you want my opinion, I believe women cheat more than men these days because women are becoming the more powerful sex. They’re putting up with less and less bullshit today than before.
If you’ve been following me for some time, you’ll know why this is: women are just as qualified, just as skilled, just as knowledgeable, just as cultured and just as influential as men are in this day and age.
Women are going to continue to surpass men for the most part in this day and age we live in. And that’s okay, there’s really nothing wrong with that.
It’s simply how it is with the huge amount of information that’s easily accessed by everybody through the internet.
I could talk about this all day, but the point you need to know is that if you’re a man, you can’t slack off and expect women to come to you and love you forever. It just doesn’t work that way anymore.
Grab my free pack above to learn more about this. It’ll give you some greater insights about relationships in 2015 and beyond, as well as additional relationship advice and tips.
So let’s get back on the topic of cheating in relationships. Why do men and women cheat on their partners? Let’s dive into the 7 biggest reasons I know of.
Also, as you go through this list, keep in mind that people don’t cheat for all 7 reasons. It could be one reason here, multiple reasons, all of these reasons or none of these reasons. These are just the 7 biggest ones I see.
1. They Don’t Value Their Reputation
In my opinion, this is the dumbest reason to cheat. If you happen to be dating someone that’s influential and important socially, your reputation could be absolutely ruined by cheating.
You go from being a highly respected person in a group to an outcast the next day – all because you couldn’t break up like respectful person would and end the relationship before hooking up.
Reputation is one of those things that stays with you for a long time. It’s why reputation management in business is a very important department. PR exists for the sole reason of keeping a companies rep in check.
A lot of celebrities and people of power have their own personal PR representatives to handle all the dumb mistakes they make, to bury stuff and to help them not make dumb mistakes.
I find your own reputation to be one of the most important things you can have. It’s something you should spend time building up over the years.
So to cheat and have years and years of work demolished, it just doesn’t make a lot of sense. This is why because of reputation alone I would never cheat. It’s a much better decision to end a relationship than to take a hit to your rep.
I also want to add that if you don’t see yourself being with a man or woman for the long haul, then don’t get into a committed relationship. It’s not worth the drama, the break up and the potential hit to your rep down the road.
2. They Lack Self-Respect
This is pretty obvious, I know. A big reason why people cheat is because they aren’t satisfied with their current relationship situation.
But instead of working on themselves and doing what’s best to improve the relationship, they can download an app like Tinder and find someone else easily.
We live in a day and age where everything comes to us easily. So when the goings get tough, instead of working on our own self and rising to the challenges, we’d rather just take the easy way out and cheat for example.
I’ve done some dumb things in my life and it’s always been at those times when I’m really in a low moment. And the question always becomes ‘How did I even get down to that low level mentally?’
The answer always lies in the fact that I lost sense of myself, my own value, that I really felt worthless. So I made stupid decisions to feel better.
It’s a reaction to a lack of self-respect. No real self-respecting man or woman would cheat because that’s what cowards do. People that live in fear don’t respect themselves.
3. They Don’t Respect You
If a man or a woman is going to cheat on you and ruin the relationship, it’s pretty obvious that they don’t respect you. There’s no sex in the relationship and you can’t figure out why.
It’s pretty obvious but it ties into the point above – you can’t respect your lover when you don’t respect yourself.
This is why I talk a lot about how self-respect is the foundation for any healthy relationship. When two people get together that don’t respect themselves, the relationship is always toxic and full of drama.
The problem in our society today is that we’re all so damn focused on what we don’t have instead of looking within and learning to respect who we are.
And I really can’t blame us for this. There are billions and billions of dollars thrown into advertisements and entertainment to distract us daily with what we don’t have. So I get it. It’s massive programming.
This is why it’s important to shut off the TV and really spend some time just looking within and being proud of who you are. The less you do this, the less you’ll come to respect people.
While this rule usually applies to newer relationships, it can still be common for long-term relationships to be affected by this fear of the unknown.
It’s really easy for a man or a woman to ‘fall in love’ and say they’re ‘committed’ to you, when in reality they’re just doing this because they’re lonely and desperately seeking approval. Their options are limited and you happened to swipe right on Tinder just as they did.
The real reason behind the infidelity is a deep inner fear of commitment. You meet someone that you initially like, you commit, but a few months down the road you start to fear that this person could run out on you or isn’t good enough or you could meet someone better and don’t want to miss out, or whatever.
Instead of going with your gut and doing the right thing (ending the relationship), you don’t want to hurt your partner (and you like getting laid). So you keep the relationship going until either you meet someone new and fresh.
These are the types of cheating you’ll hear about where it ‘just happened’ or ‘I drank too much and couldn’t control myself’ and whatnot.
Or your partner will just disappear one day and stop talking to you. You have no idea why and you can’t even get in contact with him or her. They just disappeared and you’re broken.
It’s a deep-rooted fear. It’s a fear of being alone. It’s a fear of not being good enough. It’s a fear that you can’t get anything better.
Either way, the relationship was built from a place of fear and that never results in a healthy, long-term situation. This is why I encourage people to not try to date when bored, lonely, desperate, etc.
You need to respect the dating process. Dating and relationships are supposed to be fun and healthy.
Not ordinary and cliche.
That’s boring and what usually leads to relationships ending.
Remember American Beauty? That whole movie is making FUN of the cliche, common marriage…
5. They’re Bored and ‘Lose Control’
This isn’t so much a huge reason but just something that does happen. However, the bigger story behind someone cheating in this way is due to months and possibly years of problems.
A lot of men and women stay in relationships despite the fact that they’re not happy nor satisfied. But due to morals or children or whatever, they tough it out and stick with it.
I believe that if men simply knew what women really want in a man, relationships would be a lot healthier. A lot of men are living in the past and still see women as basic.
I’m also of the belief that remaining married or whatever for the children is a wrong decision because the kids won’t get to see what a truly happy couple looks like.
In fact, they’re more prone to growing up in a negative environment than a positive one. And a single parent household often times can be much more positive than a toxic marriage.
Two people remaining together just because is prime for some infidelity to occur. And it’s these types of cheating scandals that turn out to be full blown affairs.
So please people, do the right thing – just end the relationship. Don’t disrespect your partner like that coming home like nothing is happening. It’s very fucking pathetic. And it’s better for the kids in general.
6. The Relationship Has Been Doomed For A While
Like above, sometimes the relationships are just doomed and it’s only a matter of time before the man or woman cheats. You probably turn your partner off at this point without knowing it.
As a man, you can’t just expect your girlfriend to stay in love with you until the end of time. It doesn’t work that way anymore, not in this society and not if your girlfriend actually values learning.
Granted, there are some men and women that will just remain very simple and basic their whole entire life. Perhaps they don’t have internet and live in the middle of nowhere.
But for anyone that actually likes to grow their knowledge and enrich their mind, they’re going to demand more and more as they learn. And with that, you need to also be enriching yourself.
This reason is the biggest reason people cheat these days and I’ll explain why…
Two people come together at a certain point in time and they’re a great match. The chemistry is just what you want and a long-term relationship is definitely in the cards.
Somewhere along the road, the man becomes a bit lazier. Maybe his work is getting too busy or he’s just lost his passion for learning. And that’s his choice after all.
However, let’s say his wife’s passion for growth and self-development only increases because she’s always been a go-getter, someone that wants to rise to the top.
Eventually, there’s a major disconnect here between the man and the woman. They really don’t have much to connect on anymore and their chemistry is dead because they’re not the same person they were when they met.
You would hope that one would end the relationship. But what usually happens is that either the man cheats with a lowly woman like himself, or the woman finds a man at her upper level and runs off with him (you can’t blame her really).
Either way, this is the biggest reason from my experience why cheating happens. The solution is that you need to keep yourself in check and always be growing.
7. An Easy Way Out
Last but not least, cheating is an easy way out. It’s easy to just cheat and have the relationship end.
This is the type of cheating where you make it pretty obvious about what’s going on. You’ve probably already planned your escape in a passive-aggressive manner.
Either way, you get ‘caught’ and the relationship is pretty much done. It’s a lot easier to get caught than to be honest for most people because our society is weak and likes things to be easy.
There’s really not much left to say on the manner. I created this blog to teach both men and women to be strong individuals. If you feel like it’s easier to just cheat and ditch your partner, I really hope you’ll realize how foolish that is.
That is just a weak way to live, it shows you don’t respect yourself and shows that you definitely don’t respect relationships and love in general.
We live in a very passive-aggressive society these days. I love the world we live in and I think it’s great that women are rising up and matching men pound for pound, but it also come with it’s faults.
Society has grown way too dependent on the easy things.
And in return it’s made us pretty damn shallow.
But hey, it just is what it is.
And I hope you’re not interested in being ordinary and like everybody else.
That’s just lame and isn’t what makes us happy.
Ready to be different?
I hope so.
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