Earlier this month I talked about what women want, the qualities in men that really turn women on for the long-term.
I got some comments and emails from men that wanted to know what they should be looking for in women. And that’s what I’ll be addressing today.
There’s a lot more to women than just looks. In this day and age with all the thirst traps out there on Instagram and Facebook, it can be pretty distracting for us men.
Nonetheless, there are men out there that want to see beyond just their two eyes. And the best, most attractive women in my opinion are the ones that want these types of men.
She may be throwing her good looks around and causing men to turn her head all day, but the only men she really ends up with (assuming she’s emotionally healthy) are the men that understand these 7 things I’ll be discussing.
These are all mindsets/beliefs that I talk about extensively in the Relationship Roadmap so enjoy.
1. She Doesn’t Need You (or Any Man)
There’s a big difference between need and want. I believe it’s really important that us men stop needing things and instead just learn to want things.
A lot of men and women talk about how they need things. And from my experience, this leads to an overall character that’s needy.
You’ll hear time and time again that being needy is a pretty big turn off. That’s nothing new. But a lot of people don’t even realize how needy they’re being at times.
So to me, the most attractive type of woman is a woman that doesn’t need a man. She’s independent and can get on just fine on her own.
At the same time, she does want an awesome man to grow with. Who doesn’t want an awesome partner? She definitely wants to meet a man that challenges her and pushes her to be better, but she doesn’t need a man to make her feel better.
That’s the important part with this point. If you think that women need men to feel complete, you’ll always end up with women that are trying to fill some empty void inside of her.
You can’t ever be that person because filling these voids inside of us can only come from internally – it’s not something that comes externally (like a partner or love or whatever).
2. She’s Carving Her Own Path In Life
To me, this is the most attractive part of any woman. She’s learned how to develop killer confidence and she’s carving her own path in life experiencing things for herself.
She does what she wants to do because she knows that just doing what she’s been told her whole life isn’t bringing her what she actually wants which is to be true to herself.
A lot of my teaching for men is about how they need to be better leaders. Well, a lot of these rules apply for women because a big part of just being a high quality individual is knowing what you want and not being afraid to go after it.
Fear is what cripples us. It keeps us quiet, it keeps us from challenging ourselves and learning. By being a slave to fear, you never really experience your full potential.
So what I’m saying here is that you should be wanting women that are giving it there best and working to her full potential. That to me is the most attractive thing in a woman.
3. She Takes Responsibility and Moves Forward
I believe that the most unattractive thing in a woman is where she allows the past to control her present and future. She fails to move forward because her past defines her.
This is actually a lot more common than you may know and a big reason why relationships experience a lot of toxicity.
I really don’t believe that you can truly love somebody when you’re being controlled by the past. This is because you’re not being true to yourself which is you right now.
Who you are right now is not the thoughts of your past. Everything that happened in the past are memories that are in your head.
You have the choice to let these memories cloud your head. You have the choice to let these memories control who you are today, right now.
I prefer women that have learned to let go of the past, to forgive and move forward. You learn from the past, but you don’t let it define who you are.
4. She Consistently Enriches Her Mind
What you’ll often find with quality women is that they tend to be single more often than your average girl. They know that it’s okay to be single because it’s better than settling for crumbs.
I’ve known some beautiful women that have been single for almost 2 years now. They’re in no hurry to find a partner because they want one that passes all of those quality checks that I discussed in those earlier articles.
These women have played a big role in my knowledge of dating and relationships. As I improved myself and raised my quality of being, I began to meet lots of women at these higher levels.
And what I found was astonishing – so many beautiful women yet most of them single. The men they would date were always pretty awesome men that I would become friends with.
But it’s not so much the looks that made these women beautiful. The more confident and secure a woman is, the better energy she gives off that men just can’t resist being drawn to.
This actually works both ways. You always hear about women being drawn towards men and they just ‘can’t explain it’. Well, it’s not the she can’t explain it, it’s just that doesn’t know you well enough to tell you the real feelings lol.
So guys – find women that are constantly improving their quality of living. This doesn’t mean partying on an expensive yacht. It means she’s constantly increasing her knowledge, pushing herself to be as healthy and attractive as possible in mind, body and spirit.
5. She’s Classy
I’m a man so there’s no doubt that beauty plays a big part in attractiveness. But where people get it wrong is that they believe they often times can’t do anything about their looks.
Obviously this is false because any man or woman that puts the time in to their body and health can see drastic increases in their level of attractiveness.
When you add effort into increasing your mind and soul, you become the full package.
Looks should only count for half of what you look for in a woman. Obviously you’re going to be attracted to certain features. But if you let minor things like height or hair color or whether she has a big ass or boobs affect your decision, you’re just another shallow, petty male.
This is why I always put class above everything else. The first thing I look at in a woman is if she’s classy or not. Does she look like she takes care of herself and values her appearance? If yes, then I move forward.
If instead she’s just another hipster with a messy room and hanging around the bars every weekend, she gets an easy pass from me. And I don’t care how cute she may be.
Or if she only hangs around the clubs and doesn’t seem to have anything else going on, I’ll pass on her again. I’m not impressed by things like clubbing or trying to get attention through a cute face.
I instead look for class. A woman with class doesn’t need attention, but she takes care of herself, she values herself and she knows she’s attractive. But she isn’t exploiting her attractiveness for attention or likes on Instagram (she’ll get them no matter what she posts).
6. She Surrounds Herself With People Like Her
This is usually an easy indicator to tell how someone (anyone) actually is as a person. You just look at the people that they surround themselves with.
There’s a famous quote by Jim Rohn which says “You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most.” or something along those lines.
So this applies to you as well. Look at the 5 closest people you keep around. Are they positive, uplifting individuals that push you to be better? Or do they constantly troll each you, tease you, tear you down?
When you’re meeting women, get to know her friends. This doesn’t mean add them all on Facebook. I would advise against that to be honest. Get to know her friends, talk to them, learn about their lives so you can get an idea of what her friends are about.
Do they all seem to be pretty confident and of good nature? Do they have emotional control for the most part? Are they all mostly carving their own path? They all got everything I talk about here?
This is why I spend a good deal of time meeting the friends of women and getting to know them because it can give you a really good idea of who the woman you want is really like.
Plus, it shows that you can be social and she can take you places which is never a bad thing.
7. She Doesn’t Date Because She’s Bored
This ties in with the point I made above on women being single for a long period of time. This also tells me that she isn’t desperate and lonely, she isn’t dating just to date.
She wants to find a man that she can grow with. And she’s willing to wait some time for this guy. Maybe she got really bored one night and jumped on Tinder, but your lines aren’t getting you anywhere with her.
The point in all this is that she’s a woman that pushes men to be better. Most men reject themselves when it comes to women because they want her to be easy.
This is just how society has programmed us. Everything comes easy and we instead focus on what we don’t have (like a beautiful woman) instead of what we do have (which is ourselves and the potential we have).
Relationships are very much a 50/50 game and when you learn to harness your own potential, these quality, attractive women will give you opportunities. I see it happen all the time.
The problem with men is that they want her to be easy like I said. They see dating as ‘work’ instead of a fun process that can take some time.
It’s really a bad mindset for guys to have which is why I talk so much about mindsets and beliefs for attracting women in my free email newsletter.
The women of today are just as powerful (if not more powerful) than us men and therefore they will have higher standards. They expect more from us.
By developing the right relationship mindsets, you’ll begin to see how much better relationships are when two like-minded, quality individuals come together.
And because women do want us men to be leaders, when she learns about your high quality mindsets and core beliefs, she will want to follow your lead and grow with you.
This is the big ‘secret’ of how I’ve been able to succeed with crazy, emotional women. I lead through my mindsets and she wants to follow.