If you’re interested in fixing and rebuilding your broken relationship, then you’ll want to read this article.
The internet is full of people giving their opinions about how to fix a broken relationship and rebuild it to what it once was.
But isn’t that exactly what I’m doing here? Of course! The internet is an amazing place where we can all share our opinions about relationships.
Even better, if you don’t agree with someone, you simply hit the back button and find somebody else. This is especially true with relationships because we all have our own unique situations.
Perhaps you’re dating a narcissist. Or maybe you’re simply looking for happiness. Either way, the power is in YOUR hands to research what you want.
The problem with most men and women these days is that they’re searching for love and happiness in relationships.
In other words, you don’t feel happy with yourself so you seek this out in someone else. You date because you’re bored and lonely.
As a result, you could end up in a failed BPD relationship because you met someone who isn’t truly meant for you — but they were available and you were lonely.
As the relationship evolves over time, your partner will begin to reflect on the things that have happened with you.
You best believe that if they are losing attraction for you due to your behavior and attitude, the relationship will spiral towards a slow death.
This is when you start to panic. You lose control of your emotions and do things that only make the relationship worse.
Instead of giving your partner space, you chase and smother. This backfires because chasing is a form of neediness that leads to clingy behavior.
No girl on this planet likes a clingy boyfriend. She’d rather be single than be smothered by a Brad Pitt look-alike.
It’s crucial that you stomp out your neediness. Most of my clients end up in a broken relationship due to their need for attention (which is clingy).
If your relationship is held by a thread, these 5 tips will give you the best chance to fix and rebuild your broken relationship.
1. Let The Relationship Grow Organically
Too often I’ve found that guys blow the the relationship to hell by trying to force commitment from the woman (or intimacy, or love, or attention, etc).
Force, force, force.
This does absolutely nothing for you and always cause your girlfriend to push you away. This is a form of neediness.
I learned this lesson many years ago when I dated a girl who initially was really interested in me. But because I tried to force things to quickly, she lost that attraction for me.
By simply not paying attention to the situation, I blew it. Sure, she at first wanted to be with me, but not after my desperation for her became obvious.
By trying too hard and trying to get more of her attention, it killed the attraction she had towards me.
I strongly believe that once you kill attraction with a woman, there’s nothing you can do to get it back.
She has to re-develop this attraction for you on her own time. If you try to force it in an inorganic way, you’ll never rebuild the relationship — you’ll only make matters worse.
You need to be aware of your relationship situation. You can’t read your partners mind. Therefore, you need to stick to what I teach about relationships and attractiveness. Trust the process. Let the relationship repair itself over time.
Do not push her into getting close to you. Spend your time focused on yourself for the foreseeable future.
Most people who find themselves in toxic relationships tend to be the codependent-type who never receive the same treatment that they put in.
2. Are You In The Relationship For The Wrong Reasons?
The simple truth is that most people jump into relationships for the wrong reasons. Yes, this is 90% of the relationships you see out there.
Most people date because they’re bored and lonely. They have nothing exciting going on in their lives so they feel like they need a relationship to spark that excitement.
The thought of being single makes you uncomfortable. Therefore, you’d rather deal with all the bullshit and drama instead of being single.
This negative mindset is a terrible way to live.
Here’s the truth: all of the healthy relationships I’ve seen over the years consist of two individuals who weren’t really looking for a relationship.
It just happened naturally (organically).
If you want any chance of rebuilding your broken relationship, it truly starts with a shift in your mindsets.
An abundance mentality is key. You must develop yourself to the point where you believe that you truly are a valuable individual worthy of a great relationship.
But, you’re not going to force the relationship to happen because you don’t need one.
This is a monumental shift in the way you think. When you truly understand this, you’ll be at a point where you can move forward with or without your current partner.
This means you’ll naturally work on developing a fun, healthy lifestyle for yourself.
Only then will you truly have the chance to rebuild the relationship with your partner.
3. Learn From Your Mistakes
This lesson is tough for most people to understand (especially for men due to their fragile ego).
Here’s the truth: most relationships die a slow death because you made several mistakes that turned your partner off over a period of time.
This could be things like your subconscious behaviors such as body language and other non-verbals.
It can also be the things you said at certain times, whether over text, calls or your in-person communication.
All of these factors add up on a “scorecard” if you will. When you do things right, you get positive points. When you do things wrong, you get negative points.
Here’s the kicker: your negative points are 10 times stronger than positive points. You could do ten things right, but all it takes is one wrong move to kill all that progress you were making.
Again, this is why you need to take some time away from the relationship and focus on your own self-development.
You don’t need to hire a life coach or anything. Just spend less time with your partner and more time with yourself.
Relationships teach you about yourself more than anything else. You’ll learn your strengths, weaknesses, insecurities and more.
At the end of the day, these are great lessons. Whether you rebuild your relationship or not, be happy that you got to experience these things.
4. Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin
What’s the one thing you always hear women say that they want in a man?
If you guessed confidence, you’re right!
But, what does this really mean? I have coached plenty of guys who seem confident, but they’re at a loss when it comes to relationships.
This is what women mean when they say confidence: they want you to be comfortable in your own skin.
That’s all it really means.
It’s easier said than done, however. Most people are not confident in who they are. They might act like it on the outside, but their true self isn’t comfortable.
This is one of those areas that I have difficulty explaining because I struggle immensely with this one.
With all the dating apps and how shallow women have become, you’ll find yourself getting rejected based on looks all the time.
In fact, this study shows that women are way more attracted to physical appearance than they let on.
You’ve got to have tough skin in the dating game.
That’s the best advice I can offer when it comes to relationships. Do what you can to look your best. Eat healthy, dress well, smell good, get lean.
The good news is that the more a woman gets to know you, the less she’ll care about your physical appearance. She’ll be more attractive to who you are as a person.
This is where your mindsets and a purpose-driven life will become key in the health of the relationship.
“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” – Robert Byrne
You will radiate confidence when you feel good about yourself. That’s what women truly want.
Therefore, you need to take your physicality seriously. That’s the best way to be comfortable in your own skin if you’re naturally insecure about your appearance.
Some people aren’t bothered by this at all. They radiate confidence no matter how they look.
If you’re one of these lucky individuals, then congratulations. Your mindset is rare and it will take you far in life!
5. Know When To Walk Away (Trust)
The last step is a simple one but just as important as the others mentioned above:
You need to know when to call it quits and walk away.
I would recommend you pack up your backs and leave when trust has been broken.
I’ve been teaching men and women for years that you must have strong boundaries, and stick to them.
If you allow your partner to walk all over you, she will lose respect for you and the relationship will be difficult to rebuild.
Again, this is why you need to spend some time focused on yourself. If you can’t seem to trust your partner right now, then give the relationship a break.
You can’t change your partner. They are who they are. Either accept him or who for who they are, or pack up and move on.
Most people are extremely hurt when their partner cheats on them.
However, I find this childish. Women cheat on men because the man acted like a fool and her attractiveness plummeted for him.
The man blames the woman and paints her as the bad person. But, he should really blame himself.
She wouldn’t have cheated on him if he wasn’t behaving in ways that turned her off.
A lot of people get mad at me for speaking this truth, but I don’t care. Women will find a replacement before leaving you. This is simply what they do 99% of the time.
Men do this too.
This doesn’t make it right by any means, but it’s just reality.
Rebuilding Your Relationship Is Counter-Intuitive
It’s true. It’s often why I coach people that “less is more.”
If you’re extremely serious about rebuilding your broken relationship, then check out my Coaching Podcasts.
Most men and women who first stumble across my work struggle with this “less is more” concept.
So, ask yourself this question: how many times have you gone out of your way to make things better for your partner? How much energy do you put into the relationship?
And, what has all this effort gotten you in the end?
The answer is a broken heart and a lack of intimacy. That’s not a good return of your investment, in my opinion.
Often times, we forget our own value. So we start to chase and pursue, hoping to “prove” our love.
However, this ONLY works if your boyfriend or girlfriend has NO other options.
In other words, they settle to be with you. If you’re cool with that, then enjoy a lifetime of toxicity with once a month sex, if you’re lucky.
Or, you could study what I coach and put it to good use. I leave that choice to you.