In the last article, I discussed The Truth About Love and my opinions on what true love really is and how it’s different from the common beliefs.
In this article, I want to continue this thread and talk about more specific situations that can affect relationships and this love/connection we seek.
As I regularly teach my readers and my clients, it’s important that you learn to be patient and not wear your heart on your sleeve.
Love is something that takes time to develop and if you push yourself into relationships prematurely, you can end up causing yourself a considerable amount of pain down the road.
Quick Note: I do want you to keep in mind that I am a firm believer in true love. There is someone great and unique for all of us out there and this chemistry can blast through any situation, no matter the difficulty.
With that said, here are 5 common situations that do affect relationships and will be a test of your love and connection.
1. The Reality of Compatibility
There’s a very big reason why I consistently teach you to be patient and to not jump into any relationships prematurely.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve will always cause you more issues than happiness down the road.
Recall in my article about Controlling Your Emotions and how if you’re not careful, these emotions will take over your brain and cause you to make choices that you’ll later regret.
Compatibility is what I’m talking about here. When you let your emotions rule your actions, you end up making decisions that completely ignore compatibility.
Because you temporarily feel great with this person, you’ll ignore any red flags that pop up or odd behavior that you would normally not allow yourself to deal with.
To me, this shows how powerful emotions and attraction are. You meet someone that’s initially charming and beautiful, and you just can’t help yourself but to give it a shot.
And don’t get me wrong, I very much believe you should take risks and date whoever you want.
But at the same time, you need to be smart about it. You need to be patient and not allow your emotions to get the best of you.
The truth about someone will always reveal itself in time when you let it. By controlling your feelings of love, you’ll eventually learn through time if you’re compatible with this person or not.
2. Are You Too Career-Oriented?
This is an interesting situation to talk about when it comes to love and relationships because I’m very much into my career and the plan I’ve laid out for myself.
The real difference here is whether you’re giving up a healthy lifestyle for your career.
I commonly hear stories from people that are having relationship issues where they are also working 10+ hours per day at their jobs.
At the end of the day, if you don’t have time to enjoy yourself and the people that are a part of your life, this is going to greatly impact the love and respect you receive from your loved ones.
Being a ‘slave to your job’ just isn’t worth it from all the experience and relationships I’ve seen.
I know the money might be great, but there comes a time when you need to take a step back and really think whether it’s worth it or not.
I had a client that explained to me how he needed to work 12 hours per day to support the payments on his 3rd house. I said to him ‘well how about you sell that 3rd house and work only 6 hours a day? Can you do that?’
He was blown away that I would suggest something like that. So I told him ‘Look man, you can continue to work your 12+ hour days and have 3 homes, but in return you’re going to have a wife and family that never sees you. How can you expect them to love someone that never spends time with them?’
Sometimes you’re forced to work a lot of hours. My advice for those of you that have to work a lot is to be spending this time at work as best as possible.
Take all these hours at work and use them to learn and enhance your skills. Maybe someday soon you can use these skills to branch out, start your own business or build something on the side.
3. Distance Does Matter
The next big situation that definitely has an affect on relationships is distance. Generally, the farther away you are from someone, the harder it is to keep that connection.
Now this isn’t true for everybody, but generally speaking I don’t recommend most people to get into a long distance relationship.
Most people simply can’t handle it. Most people are needy and desperate for affection and intimacy that this distance will make you insecure and incapable of love.
But like I said, not everybody is affected by distance.
I used to be against long-distance relationships but that’s no longer the case when I started dating amazing women from LA and half way around the world.
You’ve really got to be at a point in your life where you’re completely fine with yourself and your own happiness. You don’t need love and affection to get through life.
There are a lot of independent, high quality men and women out there that share this same lifestyle as me. Going a couple of months without physical contact is normal.
But most people are not capable of this. Your insecurities will get the best of you, you’ll have your doubts, your jealousy and trust issues.
Your partner could be in the same boat and end up running off with somebody else or getting involved with someone in a random encounter.
Generally speaking, I recommend you stick to dating people in your own area.
If you’re single and you live in an area that’s quite rural, then you really need to think about moving closer to an area that’s more populated.
More people = more chances of meeting someone great.
4. Age Gaps Also Matter
I think it’s great that you’re dating someone 20 years younger than you. It means you have some good qualities going for you and there’s nothing wrong with dating who you want.
But generally speaking, you really can’t set yourself up with huge expectations when you’re dating someone in their early 20’s and you’re in your 40’s.
I’m not saying these relationships can’t work out for both of you. They very much can and I know a few couples that have a 20+ year age gap.
It’s just that generally they won’t work out. As long as you know this possibility to be true, it can allow you to get involved in these relationships without over committing.
If the relationship works out and you two end up married and living happily ever after, then great!
If not, well at least you didn’t over commit yourself.
5. The Past Brings Baggage
When you get involved with a man or a woman, always be aware that this person you’re dating has a past.
Whether it’s good or bad, it’s going to influence their behavior. It’s their experience in relationships and it’s going to influence their actions and beliefs.
Knowing this, you need to be prepared for times when baggage from the past presents itself.
It’s one thing if your partner is bringing up old baggage, but an entirely different thing if it’s you.
You need to learn to let the past be the past. Accept it, bury it and move on. This is why it’s good to be single because you can take this time to forgive the past and move forward.
And if your partner continues to hold onto baggage from the past, you need to make a firm rule that you won’t stay with this person if they keep letting the past cause drama.
I’ve seen relationships tear apart due to the fact that the man or woman just wouldn’t let go of something that happened 10+ years ago. 10 years!
There really is nothing more toxic than being with someone that holds on to the past and let’s it fester deep inside of them. It’s a recipe for disaster.
These 5 situations are common factors that can directly affect your relationships. While they are common, it doesn’t mean that you can’t work through them – you definitely can.
What other common factors do you know that commonly affect the love and affection that relationships need?
Comment below and share your story.
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Once again great article Rick! I’ve been a victim of each and every one of these throughout my dating career.
From personal experience, your soul-mate could pass you by if you’re wasting your time with the wrong person or if you’re not ready (mentally and physically) by the time they come into your life. Cheers and good luck all!
Yup! But I also don’t believe in soul mates. I believe that there are a certain quality of people out there and when you’re at these better levels, you’ll have a lot of great partners to choose from :)