Are you tired of never knowing exactly what’s going on in your girlfriend’s head? The pulling away, the lack of communication, the cold shoulders…
Don’t you wish you could just figure out what the problem is and get back to that fun, exciting relationship you two had in the past?
I’ve been through this dreadful experience numerous times in my life. And since you’re reading this article, I’m sure you want some answers.
Women Can Be Confusing
Even if you believe that you’re doing everything right in your relationship, women may still pull away throwing you completely off-guard.
I don’t personally have any insight into your relationship, but there are some very important lessons I’ve learned over the years from experience as well as helping many men and women.
Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how much you think you know about women.
If you don’t know and respect these lessons (aka respect the game), there’s a good chance that your girlfriend is going to get turned off and leave you for good.
There could be numerous reasons why she’s pushing you away and being distant. Giving her this space could be important. But what’s the bigger reason behind it?
What I firmly believe is that women will constantly test you to see if you haven’t lost your self-respect. As I’ll discuss later, it’s the most attractive thing in a man.
I don’t know the exact situation with your relationship. But what I do know is that it’s important that you take these lessons seriously and read through this entire article. Your relationship could depend on it!
Understanding Emotions and the Push/Pull Dynamic
Emotions play a major role in our lives. They are what make us human after all. Because women are usually more emotional than men, it’s important that you expect the unexpected.
It’s very important that you learn to control your emotions as a man. Without this control, you’ll very easily make the mistake of overreacting in certain situations.
Many wars and conflicts throughout history could have been avoided if these leaders were better able to control themselves and avoid crucial mistakes.
On the other hand, the best generals in history knew how to control these feelings and thus were able to masterfully plan out campaigns that crushed their enemies despite having far fewer soldiers.
Now this doesn’t mean that you become a nonreactive, pushover of an individual. That would be the opposite of being a strong man.
You still need to respect yourself and use this emotional control to respond in the correct way.
The common man reacts in an incorrect way when their girlfriend starts to grow cold and distant.
Instead of giving her some space and reading between the lines, he usually starts asking questions. As men, we like to fix things. It’s no different in a relationships.
But as you push and prod, you usually end up hurting yourself even more. You don’t get answers, you become more and more confused, and all your thoughts are about your girlfriend.
You just can’t get her out of your head. You don’t want to get her out of your head. You want to fix this problem and get the relationship back to where it used to be!
Now if this sounds similar, then keep reading. If not, please email me and let me know so I can make this article better.
Here are additional articles I recommend you read:
- How To Control Your Emotions - gaining control and mastering your emotions allows you to get more of what you want.
The Truth About Investment and Commitment
When it comes to relationships, investment and commitment are key. When people invest their time, energy and commitment into each other, relationships grow.
There are other forms of investment such as money and gifts. While investing money does somewhat play a role in relationships, it isn’t nearly as important as commitment, effort and time.
If you’re investing a lot of money and gifts into your girlfriend and she’s still being distant, what’s the bigger issue here?
If you said commitment, you are correct!
Because you’re being such a damn good provider for your girl, she really doesn’t have to do much back. There’s really no serious forms of investment and commitment on her end.
She doesn’t really get the chance to put forth the time and energy because you’re being so good to her. Or so you think.
You may not be big into money, but I do know that there are a lot of men out there that get this wrong. They book trips, they buy her something fancy, they take her out on the town in his amazing car.
A lot of men think that if you can show how good of a provider you are, your girlfriend will come running back into your arms and love you long time.
But I truly don’t believe it’s a provider that women want. Not in this day and age, not in 2015 and into the future as I explain in the free Relationship Survival Pack.
What women truly want is a man that can match her lifestyle. It’s a man that understands who she is and the path that she’s on. It’s a man that’s got the attitude, a man that isn’t needy, a man that ultimately respects himself.
I could go on and on about being this man. I’ve written books and created programs on explaining exactly that. This blog and it’s purpose is about building your self-respect and teaching you how to be great in relationships.
There is so much that goes into developing this self-respect. It’s truly a life-long journey and it will bring you awesome relationships and an awesome life as you build on it.
- The Truth About Commitment – stop looking for signs of interest and instead focus on actions of commitment as these are the true signs of a relationship.
Relationships Are A Two-Way Partnership
Even if you aren’t spending money and over-providing, most men simply forget that relationships are supposed to be a partnership between two people.
You need to keep in mind that this girl was once very much attracted to you. Somewhere along the way, you probably forgot that your girlfriend wants you.
In these strong, healthy relationships both you and your girlfriend should be providing for each other almost on a 50/50 level.
As a self-respecting man, expecting anything less from your girlfriend is you disrespecting yourself. Think about this for a little bit.
Somewhere along the journey of your relationship, you lost respect for yourself. There could be a number of reasons why this is.
But women are ultimately attracted to men with self-respect. It doesn’t matter how tall you are, how well you dress, how charming you may be and how well you speak.
At the end of the day, the #1 most attractive thing about a man is his level of self-respect. Please remember this as this is key to the success or downfall of your relationships throughout life.
If this is hard to understand for you, then I don’t blame you. Thanks to society, a lot of men believe that they need to earn this respect from women and thus they fall into this providing type of role.
That’s why I write a lot of detailed articles like this, that’s why I write the books I do and create the programs I have so I can help men (and women) realize their own worth and develop that self-respect. It’s the key to success in relationships.
- 7 Commonalities of Successful Relationships – these are 7 things that successful relationships do. Look these over and apply them to your life.
Women Crave These Men With Self-Respect
If you feel that you’re always investing more than your girlfriend, then you are definitely in an unbalanced relationship and I believe you’re disrespecting yourself this way.
I believe that any self-respecting man wouldn’t put himself in a situation where he’s pushing and chasing, trying to fix things and dig for answers.
It’s this type of attitude that causes you to snoop into her phone or computer, asking her friends or family for help and advice. If your girlfriend knows you’re doing these things, that’s just an instant turn off.
And guys I need you to listen carefully here – once you turn off a woman enough times, she will never feel that attraction for you again. Ever.
In all my years of teaching and coaching men, I have never seen a completely turned off woman regain that attraction for their man. It just doesn’t happen.
So you need to understand that women, even the ‘crazy’ BPD girlfriend types, really want a man that knows his own worth and has that self-respect.
The reason I’ve been able to date BPD women is because I know what these women want. It’s all I blog about and teach.
Women want to see that she cannot push you around, cannot make you overreact, cannot make you needy, cannot make you insecure, cannot make you lose respect for yourself.
When women see that, it’s game over. Even a BPD can’t resist being with a man like this. It’s such a rare occurrence to find this type of man that she would be crazy to leave him.
One of my most favorite sayings is that it is always better to be respected than to be liked. This applies ten-fold in your relationships.
Check this article out if you have the time:
- Self-Respect for Relationships – women find a man’s level of self-respect to be the MOST attractive quality. Work on this and you’ll have way more success in relationships.
- Dating Women with BPD – How I’ve been able to do it and how you can too.
Developing That Self-Respect
While there are many possible reasons why your girlfriend is pushing you away right now, keep in mind that the bigger picture is due to her losing interest over a period of time.
A woman doesn’t just quit liking you one morning. Not even a BPD is like that. You may think that’s the case but believe me she’s been losing interest for a bit.
The most common reason for this is you losing that self-respect. Your masculinity may have grown weak. You’re lost that edge, you’re easily pushed around, you’re needy, you’re seeking validation,etc.
These are all major turn-offs to women. And some women will hide their turn-off until one day they just can’t take it anymore and they’re gone ASAP when they meet a newer, better man.
You can blame women all you want, but at the end of the day only you are responsible for who you are. Guy’s often lose focus of this and before you know it you’ve changed.
When you understand this, it makes it really easy to see why your girlfriend is being distant. She’s lost respect for you!
Women love men that they respect. The more a woman respects you, the more she will fall in love with you.
Here’s an article I highly suggest you read now that you have a general idea of why women push you away:
- Common Dating Mistakes and How To Fix Them – these are the 7 most common dating mistakes people make. Stop yourself from doing these ASAP.
What If My Girlfriend Has BPD?
In the past, I used to attract a lot of BPD women and have experience being in these types of relationships. Emotions definitely play a much bigger role.
But what I learned from my experiences is that everything I have stated above about self-respect, controlling your emotions, being your own man is equally as effective with BPD women.
While all women desire the above traits in a man, a woman with BPD needs her man to have these consistent traits at all times. She will grow tired of you and pull away if you start consistently showing weakness due to the fact that she’s dealt with weak men all her life.
While a BPD woman might seem out of control and lost at times, it’s actually the fact that she’s uncontrollable. As I have talked about earlier, your job isn’t to fix things. Your job is to be your own man.
Women with BPD have very strong emotions and unless you’ve got 10 inches of thick steel skin, you’re going to have a difficult time. BPD relationships are complicated and they require you to be the strongest version of yourself.
I’ve been in great relationships with women that most people call crazy. But I never experienced the issues that all these other men faced because I work very hard on myself and my levels of self-respect.
I believe that this trend is only going to increase. Not BPD, but the fact that women demand more from men. Again, check out my DETOX book to learn more.
If you suspect you’re dating a girl with BPD, read this:
- BPD Relationships Are Complicated – you’re dating a person that has a lack of confidence and self-worth. These relationships are tough and complicated, but I can help you make it work.
Last But Not Least
If you’ve only dated what most people consider as “normal” women, any girl with high emotions (which is 99% of the most desired women) will control the relationship which leads to a loss of attraction. She’ll go from heavily interested in you to heavily distant the next morning.
A lot of men get lead around by emotional women because the man has lost his sense of self – too overwhelmed by the emotions of the woman and her beauty. Too afraid to mess things up and lose this beautiful lady.
But even your most beautiful, intimate, emotional women simply want to lose themselves with a man that knows his true self. This is why I want you to work on developing yourself into the best possible person you can be.
Understand that one of the big reasons your girl pulls away and distances herself is because she feels you’ve lost your “mojo.”
You’ve become passive, you started just ‘going with the flow.’
And no woman wants to be with a ‘go with the flow’ guy.
That’s a man who lacks leadership. And women want men who lead their own lives.
The good news is that you can develop these skills.
You can learn my dating & relationship system here:
– Rick Reynolds